View Full Version : Going on holiday getting closer now
3 days now until we go. Now I am starting to feel anxiety creeping up on me. Today I have had my usual dodgy tummy that I get before going away. Plus, I am feeling pain in some of my teeth which I always get before going away too, it never fails. Every single time I start to think, oh no, what if I need to go to a dentist? Then I remind myself that no, it's just part & parcel of my anxiety. But then I think, what if this time it's not? So, my teeth start to hurt more, then I become more conviced that this time the problem is not my anxiety. Oh, you know how it goes. I worry so much about my health when I am about to go away. I've never been sure if I have a health anxiety & it just gets worse when we go away, or if my fear of going on the motorway manifests itself as a health anxiety? Does that make sense? Either way, I'm starting to feel tense. For a moment today I started to wish that it was over, that the holiday was past. Then I get annoyed with myself because I have been looking so forward to going & I know that most of the time (apart from some panic moments), I will enjoy myself. Then I think, god your lucky to be going away, just enjoy it, stop wishing it away!!!!
What has been preying on my mind, other than going on motorway, is the pool area. Now, I have zillions of fears, but the one fear that I don't have, is the water. So, that is not a problem. What the problem is, is the enclosed flumes. I hate being a party pooper, so I always go on them, but I am always terrified that I will get stuck in one. Also, I'm not great with heights, & sometimes climbing those open stairs & having to stand & wait til my turn, makes me very lightheaded & I'm petrified that I will either fall or jump. Does anyone else ever feel like that?
Sorry for going on, I just need some reasurrance pleaseeee.
HI panicdiva
I could have written this, especially the part about toothache - the exact same happens to me, but rest assured nothing has developed and if it ever did then there would be a dentist close by who will see emergency appointments. You are doing so well though because you are able to recognise that its your anxious thoughts perpetuating this cycle so that is positive.
As to the flumes, why are you going on something you dread so as not to appear a "party pooper"? Maybe this is where the anxiety lies, doing something to please and fit in with others. Go and do what YOU want to do, its YOUR holiday too and Im sure your family will be happy no matter what you get fully involved in. They will love you for just being there.
Take care and enjoy and have fun.................. I know you will :winks:
Luv Darkangel :flowers:
hi darkangel, thanks for your great reply.
At least I know I'm not the only one who has problems with her teeth when anxiety is about.
I know ur rite bout the flume thing. Maybe I am doing it to please everyone else. But sometimes it's because I HATE giving into my fears. sometimes I do of course, but other times I feel, no, I don't want to give into them. Take the flumes for example. Well, they are fun, so I get annoyed with myself for stopping myself from having fun bcause of my fears. It's almost like I have to prove to myself that I can have fun.
Don't know if ive said this b4, but my mother is claustraphobic. Has been for as long as I can remember. She never talked about it, & still won't. She knows I won't go on lifts, but other than that, she really has no idea to what extent my fears go. So, when I was younger, my dad would go on all the roller coasters & scary, daring rides at parks. I do remember thinking that my mum was a party pooper, and I used to feel quite annoyed that she did not know how to let herself go & have fun. I made a silent vow to myself that I would never, ever be like like. Now, firstly, I did not really know much about my mother's claustraphobia, or even what it really was, as she never spoke about it. So, looking back I do now understand what she was scared off, the fear of being trapped on the rides. Secondly, I think that that vow I made to myself is what makes me determined not to be a "party pooper". I am terrified that I will let the kids down & most of all I am terrified of being my mother!!! hence, the reasons, I think, that I force myself to do some things even though I'm scared. As for flumes, my mother did not go near them but that is because she could not swim & was terrified of water.
also, I am quite stubborn, & I sometimes think, if others can do it without any qualms, then why can I not be like that, why can I not just go on these things without any trepidation never mind anxiety? It really BUGS me!!! I know, I know, I am not accepting & floating!!!! Probably half my problem really.
I never wanted to be claustraphobic like my mother (who by the way, has no problems whatsover going on the motorway as a passanger, she can't drive). I think I have always feared that I would become her, & it seems I have.
A couple of years ago, my gran (mothers mum) was over for lunch. My grandad died when I was 12, & I don't remember much about him as we lived in Canada. She started speaking about him, which she does not do very often. She told me that he used to go for really long walks along the canal & be away for hours, he loved that freedom. Yet, she said sometimes, he would become quite ill, and lock himself away in the house & never go out for months at a time. I said, what do you mean ill? She said, no one ever really knew what it was, he just seemed scared to go out. I tried to find out more but she clammed up. So, I did eventually bring it up with my mother who claimed to have no memories of that. Now my mum is the oldest of 6. None of them have agoraphobia. However, my mum & one sister are very claustraphobic, and the youngest, who is only 7 yrs older than me, finds flying extremely difficult. She does do it, but she speaks to no one, & is just a ball of nerves the whole time. I sometimes wonder if agorphobia, or phobias full stop, are passed on from generation to generation, or if this is just a coincidence.
Anyway, I've ended up going off on a tangent, not like me lol!
Darkangel, I am feeling alot more positive today however, & my dodgy tummy is no more today. I'm sure I will be fine, no, I know I will be fine. Thanks for your support though.
Hi panicdiva, i was telling my husband of your forthcoming trip to centre pacrs and how what you wrote is me to a tee. We came back 2 wks ago now from elvden forest, had a great time weather was kind to us, went in the pool area, and guess what yep the flumes, come they all shouted, but i avoided them like the plague. i went outside to the pool area, and slid over the wall of a flume, o.m.g. what have i done, but it was very shallow, and i kept stopping, the life guard ask if i was ok, i said yes of couse and carried on down the flume, it was great, and there was no stopping me after that, i think , well i know that i was the fear of the unknown, and in the end it was me that was shouting come on to the others.You will be ok i,m sure , take lots of things for the journey and practise your breathing.If you are able go into the spa ,it,s a great stress releaver.,but most of all enjoy, it,s only 4 nights and the time will fly by. :hugs:
Hi panicdiva
Thanks for your reply and Im so glad to hear you are feeling much better today :flowers: . I sometimes wonder if this runs in families as my grandmother was housebound for about 10 yrs but it wasnt something that was spoken about either.
I can also sense your frustration at not letting others down and trying everything possible to ensure you dont become like your mother with regards to claustraphobia. So do you constantly live with the saying "Feel the fear and do it anyway". The reason Im asking is, I too am really stubborn and wont let this damn illness ruin my life, but to be honest I was slowly destroying myself by trying to outrun my anxiety and prove it wrong. I thought the only way I would be accepted was to appear normal and I would throw myself into situations that were way out of my reach at that time.
I did however decide a few years back to take some time out and TOTALLY review my life and I decided to change my personal situation and focus on what I actually wanted in life. Quite difficult I know, and a lot of people thought I had "lost it". I now live my life for ME and that may sound selfish, but I can now fully enjoy the challenges that come my way. Im currently on a self esteem course which has reinforced my feelings of making sure I do things for me. I am still working on the FUN aspect of life, but Im sure like everything else its a re-learning process and if done in small enjoyable stages then it will become natural.
Back to why we fear things, its a learned behaviour. Turn the fearful thoughts around and when you come down that flume - shout YIPEEEEEEEEEEE this is so much fun and TRUELY beleive it. Im just back from 2 weeks in Bulgaria, something that would have been impossible 3 or 4 yrs ago as I was totally agoraphobic for 6 yrs previous to that and didnt see anyway out of getting myself better. But I trusted my inner voice and slowly began to live my life for ME and not what others expected of ME and slowly my fears subsided. Its a ongoing process but each day brings me more independence and brings me closer to the "real" me.
Go and enjoy your holiday and do what feels right for YOU and keep up your positivity. You will be loved and accepted for being true to yourself :flowers: and you know in your heart that you will have a FAB time.
Luv and Hugs Darkangel x
Hi rikkards
We've never been to Elvden, only Sherwood & Whinfell. We are leaving very early on Monday - 6:00 so should miss some traffic which will help me alot.
Yes, I am booked in for the spa on Tues morning. I have been to it b4 & loved it. It is very relaxing, especially the mediation room. Get a little anxious at 1st going into the steam rooms etc. as worried door will get stuck, but after a little while I start to relax & that no longer bothers me.
As this is our main holiday this year we are going for the full wk. Also, we have treated ourselves & are going to an Executive Lodge. So I am looking forward to it & I know I will have a lovely time with the family.....it's just that, well you know what it's like, the worry side of me, well......worries!
I believe that Elveden Forsest has walkways up in the trees? Is that correct? How long did it take from where you live to get there?
Yes, and as for the flumes, your right, once I get going on them I will be okay. I believe there is a new flume since we were last there where 4 people go together on a round rubber boat down the flume together .... kids r looking 4ward to that & I just don't want to miss out on the fun. Will have to do my breathing excercises going up the stairs as well. I know once I get into it, I will be fine.
Thanks for taking time to reply.
Hi Darkangel
Thanks again for reply. You really have done so well. It takes great stength to really stop & listen to your inner voice, that is very inspiring. It's something I'm afraid I do not do often enough. Your right though, if I choose to face the my fears going down the flumes then I should choose it for me. If I feel on the day that I don't want to face it, then so be it. It's just that I do know, deep in my heart, that once I face it, I am ok, because I've done it before.
It must be wonderful to just be able to do things without even thinking about it.
I'm so chuffed for you that you went to Bulgaria & enjoyed yourself with your new partner. It's also lovely to hear that he is very supportive, which really makes such a difference.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
I will post how I got on when I get back.
Oh that,s great a whole week, we,ve only stayed for the 4 night, but always say we must stay the week next time.WE did whinfell in 2005, sherwood forest in aug 2003 oct 2003, longleat in 2006, and elvedon in sept 2006 and june 2007.We,ve booked to go to sherwood forest in november for my birthday,and we,re off to longleat in june next year,anybody would think that we like it there.In answer to your question, about walkways up into the trees, no it is not correct, there is a high wire thing that takes you though the trees but as for walk ways i ,m sure there are not.From our home in tamworth staffordshire, it takes 2 hrs. longleat 3hrs, shearwood 1 1/2hrs and whinfell ,well we,ve only been there once and that was by train [cus hubby could not make it]When we go in november we are staying an ex apartment as it is only hubby and myself going this time, how romantic, when you get to sherwood ask about the full week in the spa, it costs £65 but u can go in as often as you like, better than paying £35 for a 3 hour session.
Rikards, thanks for reply,
I can't believe it....£65 for whole wk? It does not say that in the brochure!!!! how annoying. I would have went for that for sure, especially because we are there for a wk!!! Thanks for that tip, I will be asking them next wk about that. We are planning on going in Oct break as well so will book it next week while we get our discount.
You are so lucky to be pretty close to all of the centreparcs. Whinfell from Scotland is only 2hrs. Sherwood is 5 hrs, but we like it so much better than Whinfell, so Have decided to put up with journey. Elvden is about 7hrs & Longleat even farther, (or is it other way round). Hence the reason we have only been as far as Sherwood.
Our plan is to leave at 6:00 & be at Scotch Corner around 9:00 (all going well). Have breakfast, then drive for another 2 hrs & hopefully be at Sherwood for lunch.
Can I ask, out of curiosity, since you have been to all 4, which is your favourite & why?
without a doubt, longleat is our favourite. It,s big, and they have a land train to take you around the parc,but where we stay it is so lovely, we have booked the same accomadation 21 pinewoods it,s great it,s on 2 floors, and sleeps four, both have their own en suite. but upstairs you feel as though you are sleeping in a tree house.Everything seems bigger, and just 700 yds is longleat safari park, so if you fancy a change the animals ar,nt too far away.Give it a go one year you will not be disappointed.
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