anxietygirl27
25-02-18, 01:32
Warning - this is going to be a long one!
Hi, everyone! I have posted in the HA forums from time to time but never here. Please excuse the extremely long post and THANK YOU to anyone who takes the time to read it and provide help, suggestions or even just commiseration to any of it.
I am 27 years old and have struggled with severe anxiety, panic attacks and some POCD (i just feel like they all morph into one honestly) for literally as long as I can remember. It's ALWAYS been something, and it cycles in fears. For example when I was younger I had panic about being gay (I actually lol about that now because who cares), I go through phases where i have serious HA, and other times just run of the mill anxiety symptoms. However, ALL (especially the HA) of my anxieties and fears steam from a crippling, horrible fear of death.
I know we all struggle with it, but for as long as I can remember, if I think too hard about it I spin into an absolute tail spin of a panic attack. The first time it happened I was probably 5 or 6. When I was ten, I went through a period of 2 weeks probably where I was terrified to fall asleep because i was afraid i wouldn't wake up. I am not going to go through typing my specific fears and issues with it as it will trigger myself further and I am finally starting to calm down a bit.
Anyway, there's my background info if you're still reading through lol. Recently, probably the last 2 weeks, it has been nearly non stop. It's such a cycle, too - I started having what I call "mini" panic attacks when i would try to go to sleep, then I started dreading going to sleep because I anticipated them, it started to seep into the day time and now i literally can barely function.
I NEED help to cope. I am getting married in September, my parents are moving closer and I should be moving into a new condo in the next couple of weeks - I am incapable of being excited about ANYTHING right now and just feel a constant sense of doom and gloom.
I need help to break this cycle - right now the only relief I get is when I am busy at work or out having fun with some alcohol which I know is a slippery slope. This is probably the worst bout of anxiety I've had in a decade, and I need help to break through this so I can get back to my fun and lighthearted self.
Here is what I am trying / working with so far -
- Exercise. I have been unable to convince myself to exercise the last two weeks but I booked a hot yoga class for tomorrow morning in hopes it will set me up for a relaxing day.
- Xanax. Lol. I am picking up my prescription on Tuesday and will be able to at least reach for that if I feel the panic building. I feel like part of the issue is I constantly feel on the brink of a panic attack all day so my body and nervous system are just wrecked.
Thank you to anyone who reads this. I think it was just some what cathartic typing it all out because I actually feel a little more calm right now!
Hi, everyone! I have posted in the HA forums from time to time but never here. Please excuse the extremely long post and THANK YOU to anyone who takes the time to read it and provide help, suggestions or even just commiseration to any of it.
I am 27 years old and have struggled with severe anxiety, panic attacks and some POCD (i just feel like they all morph into one honestly) for literally as long as I can remember. It's ALWAYS been something, and it cycles in fears. For example when I was younger I had panic about being gay (I actually lol about that now because who cares), I go through phases where i have serious HA, and other times just run of the mill anxiety symptoms. However, ALL (especially the HA) of my anxieties and fears steam from a crippling, horrible fear of death.
I know we all struggle with it, but for as long as I can remember, if I think too hard about it I spin into an absolute tail spin of a panic attack. The first time it happened I was probably 5 or 6. When I was ten, I went through a period of 2 weeks probably where I was terrified to fall asleep because i was afraid i wouldn't wake up. I am not going to go through typing my specific fears and issues with it as it will trigger myself further and I am finally starting to calm down a bit.
Anyway, there's my background info if you're still reading through lol. Recently, probably the last 2 weeks, it has been nearly non stop. It's such a cycle, too - I started having what I call "mini" panic attacks when i would try to go to sleep, then I started dreading going to sleep because I anticipated them, it started to seep into the day time and now i literally can barely function.
I NEED help to cope. I am getting married in September, my parents are moving closer and I should be moving into a new condo in the next couple of weeks - I am incapable of being excited about ANYTHING right now and just feel a constant sense of doom and gloom.
I need help to break this cycle - right now the only relief I get is when I am busy at work or out having fun with some alcohol which I know is a slippery slope. This is probably the worst bout of anxiety I've had in a decade, and I need help to break through this so I can get back to my fun and lighthearted self.
Here is what I am trying / working with so far -
- Exercise. I have been unable to convince myself to exercise the last two weeks but I booked a hot yoga class for tomorrow morning in hopes it will set me up for a relaxing day.
- Xanax. Lol. I am picking up my prescription on Tuesday and will be able to at least reach for that if I feel the panic building. I feel like part of the issue is I constantly feel on the brink of a panic attack all day so my body and nervous system are just wrecked.
Thank you to anyone who reads this. I think it was just some what cathartic typing it all out because I actually feel a little more calm right now!