ColdHands
26-02-18, 17:50
First off, I want to speak for the record that I dislike the term "triggered", for the most part. In my thoughts most people are just too sensitive in the general population about almost everything. But I think with people like us, its an apt word in many respects. You all know that I am facing some tests, that are now delayed . (Well those that read my post). I actually have felt pretty good today. My sinus junk was flaring yesterday and I got a ton of sleep. So today I felt pretty good. The pain I've been having in my back that I know is probably from the growth wasn't bad etc. I was driving to visit my 102 year old aunt for lunch (yesterday was her birthday) and on my christian radio station they were talking to widows. Not a big deal, I've heard that before and I usually get a great deal of comfort from this station. But then one lady started talking about her how her husband was diagnosed and eventually died of pancreatic cancer. PC is a big fear of mine. I've had my father in law and a cousin die of it and its the big daddy of all cancers in my estimation. So here I sit now, triggered. My upbeat attitude about what I was going to find in my test was shattered in about 15 minutes. I've had PC fears before, when I was diagnosed with my liver disease. Probably why I took that diagnosis so well because I had thought I would have PC. My doctor was surprised how calm I was. But now, the pain in my back is more noticable, I can feel whatever that is in me when I take a deep breath and my mind has just gone nuts.
I'm actually a very high functioning, not too easily excitable HA person. But when you are coming up to tests and off a really bad patch its so easy to fall into old habits. So annoyed right now.
I'm actually a very high functioning, not too easily excitable HA person. But when you are coming up to tests and off a really bad patch its so easy to fall into old habits. So annoyed right now.