Living with anxious Husband

[Carebear321]

Although married for several decades, the anxiety has only become a major part of our lives this past few years, hidden behind alcohol for many years before that. So great counselling, hours and hours of talking together and slowly making some changes have helped. He knows he has anxiety, he gets the pills, the talks, the time to walk for hours alone on the beach, the understanding and sympathy - and I do truely know why and how from his point of view; but...... after each cycle I am exhausted. Drained emotionally, tired of being told I am not his carer/nurse but never treated like a wife and that he trusts no-one, not even me. Sex is a distant memory from another decade! The crutch of alcohol came to an abrupt end last November when his osophagus started bleeding - very scarey; however we both know it has started again. Even with counselling. Even with my support emotionally, financially, physically. I'll stay. Through all of this and more I love him deeply and cling to the good times even though they are fewer and fewer. Any words of advice would be so appreciated . Thank you

[gflanagan86]

I can speak to you as the wife with anxiety. My anxiety started with postpartum depression/anxiety/hypochondria. My husband has been put through the ringer!!! I can tell you as someone with anxiety even when I push my husband away I still NEED him more than anyone else in the world. My best advice to you would be to see if you can get him into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). This type of therapy with medication monitored by a psychiatrist can change his life for the better, and through that will change yours as well. Anxiety is a brutal beast!! I hope your husband can get the proper help for you both xoxo

[Carebear321]

Thank you for your reply and suggestion. He did go on a course, maybe cbt, a couple of years ago so a refresher might help. I'll bring that into conversation with him. Being needed is fine and thankfully I don't feel too pushed away. It's the walking on egg shells i.e. not being able to put some washing on when I get in from work if he has had that day off; this brings panic to his eyes and protests of being busy etc that day. There's only the two of us so now so there's never any urgency , but say two days later I go to the machine and find he's left wet washing in there that now stinks. That sort of thing.