Anxiousamyj
28-02-18, 02:25
Hi all,
I’m a 39 yo woman who has struggled with hypochondria since childhood. It’s never been really severe and I was able to trust my family and doctors when they reassured me that I was fine. However, last summer, things took a really hard downward spiral for my HA. The first disease I “had” was a brain tumor. Ct scan was normal. I was reassured until I got oral cancer. Dentist assured me I was fine. I had a bout with MS, ALS, Parkinson’s, gallstones, pancreatic cancer, Graves’ disease, anal cancer, recital cancer, bone cancer, breast cance, and probably others that I’m not remembering. There were so many. I went to the doctor at least 20 times from June 2017 until now. I was losing weight, nauseous constantly, no appetite. Of course, the weight loss fueled my cancer fear as well. I’ve had x rays, ultrasounds, ct scans, crazy amounts of blood tests. They are all fine. I’m in the US, so even with insurance, I’ve racked up quite a medical bill. I’m in CBT now and it’s been amazing, but you have to really want to get better and commit to doing the work. First thing is: no googling symptoms. It’s hard, I know. I was a 5-8 hour a day googler. It had taken over my life and become an obsession. You really have to stop doing it. It was the single most important thing I’ve accomplished in therapy. It’s scary, unreliable, and I can’t stress enough how damaging it is. Another thing you have to realize is that our bodies are capable of manifesting psychsomatic symptoms. It sounds unbelievable that you really don’t have that disease you fear so much, it all really can be anxiety and mind over matter. I really felt genuinely awful and was absolutely certain I had these diseases. It’s important to get some insight and be honest with your doctors about your HA. I don’t take any medication, but I have been prescribed some in the past.
You have to come up with a plan for what you will do with your time once you stop the googling. I’m a graduate student, so I had a lot of time where I was unstructured and I’d end up on google. Get away from your computer, go outside, say yes when your friend invites you to do something. Go shopping, take up knitting or hiking. Anything to keep you away from google and screens. I’m seeing my therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month. My GP knows what’s going on and he has been wonderful as well. Trust these people. They don’t want to get it wrong, they are there to help you. I really did think I was dying. I thought every holiday would be my last with my kids. I feel tons better now and am actually feeling pretty happy. It’s all about breaking the cycle. I’m certainly a work in progress, but I’ve put a plan in place with therapy to help me cope with the scary feeling when they come up. Exercise is also a great way to burn off adrenaline.
Don’t underestimate the damage and dysfunction severe anxiety can cause in your body. It sent my GI system on a wild ride that I’m still recovering from. Be kind to yourself always. It isn’t your fault you’ve got the awful HA, but it is up to you and within your power to do something about it. If you stay strong and stick to your goals, you can feel better. That’s really what we’re all after. This was my own personal path to finding happiness again, and it feels amazing.
I’m a 39 yo woman who has struggled with hypochondria since childhood. It’s never been really severe and I was able to trust my family and doctors when they reassured me that I was fine. However, last summer, things took a really hard downward spiral for my HA. The first disease I “had” was a brain tumor. Ct scan was normal. I was reassured until I got oral cancer. Dentist assured me I was fine. I had a bout with MS, ALS, Parkinson’s, gallstones, pancreatic cancer, Graves’ disease, anal cancer, recital cancer, bone cancer, breast cance, and probably others that I’m not remembering. There were so many. I went to the doctor at least 20 times from June 2017 until now. I was losing weight, nauseous constantly, no appetite. Of course, the weight loss fueled my cancer fear as well. I’ve had x rays, ultrasounds, ct scans, crazy amounts of blood tests. They are all fine. I’m in the US, so even with insurance, I’ve racked up quite a medical bill. I’m in CBT now and it’s been amazing, but you have to really want to get better and commit to doing the work. First thing is: no googling symptoms. It’s hard, I know. I was a 5-8 hour a day googler. It had taken over my life and become an obsession. You really have to stop doing it. It was the single most important thing I’ve accomplished in therapy. It’s scary, unreliable, and I can’t stress enough how damaging it is. Another thing you have to realize is that our bodies are capable of manifesting psychsomatic symptoms. It sounds unbelievable that you really don’t have that disease you fear so much, it all really can be anxiety and mind over matter. I really felt genuinely awful and was absolutely certain I had these diseases. It’s important to get some insight and be honest with your doctors about your HA. I don’t take any medication, but I have been prescribed some in the past.
You have to come up with a plan for what you will do with your time once you stop the googling. I’m a graduate student, so I had a lot of time where I was unstructured and I’d end up on google. Get away from your computer, go outside, say yes when your friend invites you to do something. Go shopping, take up knitting or hiking. Anything to keep you away from google and screens. I’m seeing my therapist once a week and a psychiatrist once a month. My GP knows what’s going on and he has been wonderful as well. Trust these people. They don’t want to get it wrong, they are there to help you. I really did think I was dying. I thought every holiday would be my last with my kids. I feel tons better now and am actually feeling pretty happy. It’s all about breaking the cycle. I’m certainly a work in progress, but I’ve put a plan in place with therapy to help me cope with the scary feeling when they come up. Exercise is also a great way to burn off adrenaline.
Don’t underestimate the damage and dysfunction severe anxiety can cause in your body. It sent my GI system on a wild ride that I’m still recovering from. Be kind to yourself always. It isn’t your fault you’ve got the awful HA, but it is up to you and within your power to do something about it. If you stay strong and stick to your goals, you can feel better. That’s really what we’re all after. This was my own personal path to finding happiness again, and it feels amazing.