vatatea
28-02-18, 18:09
I have been waging a battle with hypochondria all my life and 'have been engaged in a mighty two front war for the last month.
The first installment involved manic worrying and stomach clenching cyber research on behalf of my husband - that worked out ok (thank God!) but the whole experience put ME out on a fragile limb of lingering super anxiety.
I have found this to be true in the past, also. Extreme anxiety doesn't go away just because the primary cause is alleviated - it hangs around looking for more trouble which is just what is going on for me now.
After HIS health crisis ended I began searching for another one to replace it - why? In some nutty fashion do I enjoy being scared out of my wits? Is it an excuse to have another cocktail in the evening as a payback for my suffering? Is it because of self hatred and desire to torture myself and ruin my life?
Many times when I'm going on vacation, for example, I will come up with some THING health related and then torture (there's that word again!) myself while I'm on vacation therefore spoiling any fun or relaxation I might have. Even though I'm on to my "tricks" - I still fall for them!!! Sap!
So guess what? Am I happy and relieved that my husband's cancer scare is eliminated???? No way - I found a NEW ONE to hyperventilate over - all my own!!
Off to the dermatologist Friday. Sigh....when all else fails I will always find something on my skin that is alarming. I can spend hours going over those suspicious mole mages on Google must be a zillion out there - I've seen 'em all!!
Wish me luck and thanks for reading.
The first installment involved manic worrying and stomach clenching cyber research on behalf of my husband - that worked out ok (thank God!) but the whole experience put ME out on a fragile limb of lingering super anxiety.
I have found this to be true in the past, also. Extreme anxiety doesn't go away just because the primary cause is alleviated - it hangs around looking for more trouble which is just what is going on for me now.
After HIS health crisis ended I began searching for another one to replace it - why? In some nutty fashion do I enjoy being scared out of my wits? Is it an excuse to have another cocktail in the evening as a payback for my suffering? Is it because of self hatred and desire to torture myself and ruin my life?
Many times when I'm going on vacation, for example, I will come up with some THING health related and then torture (there's that word again!) myself while I'm on vacation therefore spoiling any fun or relaxation I might have. Even though I'm on to my "tricks" - I still fall for them!!! Sap!
So guess what? Am I happy and relieved that my husband's cancer scare is eliminated???? No way - I found a NEW ONE to hyperventilate over - all my own!!
Off to the dermatologist Friday. Sigh....when all else fails I will always find something on my skin that is alarming. I can spend hours going over those suspicious mole mages on Google must be a zillion out there - I've seen 'em all!!
Wish me luck and thanks for reading.