View Full Version : Sudden feeling of extreme sadness, scared of brain tumor
Hello guys, sorry if this is just way too long, but I needed to get it off my chest since no one else understands me. I'm a 22 year old gal, I already was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and persistent depression when i was 17, but only went to 2 sessions of therapy.
Ok in this message I will focus in what is happening to me right now. The last 5 years I became a very sedentary person, only going out to uni, and staying in my house almost all of the time using my cellphone the whole day (about 12 hours a day playing and using tumblr), but only when I'm off college. Last summer I dtarted getting sharp pains in my head, sharp pains are not new since I had them when I was 14, had a ct scan in 2013 when I was 17 and it was normal. Ok last summer I was on my 3 month vacation off college, the sharp started again and they seem to be localized top right of my head, almost the same exact spot 60-70% of the time i can put my finger on it. I also developed a new kind of headache it's like it comes suddenly and feels like my whole head is being crushed but it only lasts seconds but really really scares the heckk out of me. These headaches are not new to me, but the fact that they're becoming more frequent and many are localized in one spot makes me think of a brain tumor. I also had night sweats last summer and I also thought I had lymphoma cause I have swollen painless lymph nodes, but I had blood work, thyroid and lymp node ultrasound and everything came "fine". Ok so when fall came I entered college once again and the headaches started to dissapear completely, I even was surprised by the fact I was sleeping very well during that time. Ok right now I've been on vacays for one month in my house without going out anywhere and the headaches have come back. I also have developed nausea the whole day, short term memory loss, smelled phantom smell of smoke, difficult to find words, my first language is spanish and sometimes I only find words in english, high temperature, left leg pain, popping ears, eye and forehead pain and the list goes on. I'm scared it is a brain cancer now cause I use my phone a lot and have slept with it for 5 year because it's my alarm and I'm scared it gave me brain cancer help I'm desperate and my healtg insurance will be available in 3 months :'(
---------- Post added at 17:06 ---------- Previous post was at 16:56 ----------
Also my symptoms seem to get worse when I'm out of college, because when I'm college I'm focused in something more than googling brain cancer stories, symptoms etc. and I don't go out since I don't have close friends. When I was 17 I had the worst crisis and that's when they diagnosed me, I had left arm pain, sharp pains in chest, cold/hot feeling all over my body, every single noise and sudden stimuli scared me and made me jump, dysnea, fatigue, pressure in head, something moving inside my head, twitches ALL over my body, pressure in chest, night sweats, derealization, trembling.
Throughout all of these 5 years I had thought I had:
2013: brain tumor, heart attack, multiple sclerosis, epylepsy
2014: heart failure, tongue cancer, liver cancer
2015: brain tumor, ataxya cerebellum
2017: brain tumor, lymphoma, rabies, leuhemya, gasthritis
There isn't a single piece of evidence to suggest mobile phones cause brain cancer. Seeing as they've been ubiquitous with everyone for well over a decade, wouldn't it be a terrifying epidemic that was wiping out Western Civilisation by now if so? Please put that completely out of your head (and don't Google it as you'll read a lot of rubbish from the conspiracy crowd).
You've also been checked out for your headaches with a CT scan. If something was big enough to cause headaches I would have thought they'd have found it. And a brain tumour headache wouldn't just come and go, would it?
Also brain tumours are very rare.
It may not seem like it but many of your symptoms are pretty vague things, and some of them come with the territory of GAD, which should never be underestimated. Obviously I'm no doctor, but I read here someone with anxiety and depression who should try again with therapy rather than anything alarming.
---------- Post added at 17:12 ---------- Previous post was at 17:11 ----------
My reply was before you second comment.
Gosh, that's a litany of fears :( I hope you find some help for the anxiety.
Having every brain tumor symptom, I'm terrified!
Respectfully, your post describes every symptom of anxiety. Are you getting any help for that?
Positive thoughts
[QUOTE]smelled phantom smell of smoke[/QUOTE
I'll just let people digest that phrase, and see if people think what i am thinking....
nomorepanic
22-01-18, 18:07
[QUOTE]smelled phantom smell of smoke[/QUOTE
I'll just let people digest that phrase, and see if people think what i am thinking....
I know what you are thinking but it has been checked out and all ok.
(http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/search.php?do=getnew&frame=getnew)
Hi @axolotl thank you for taking your timer to reply me I really appreciate it, well I know there haven't been enough evidence of cell phones cancer except of a study in rats last year showed a slight increase in glioma in the rats exposed to radio waves. When I read that I almost fainted. But yeah it's true we'd see a brain cancer epidemy by now so if there was an actual risk, it'd probably be small and in my country there are less than 100 brain tumor diagnosed every yearl. BUT my dear mind wants me to believe I have a brain tumor, and I have many of the symptoms, and I'm so scared I'm actually planning my funeral and getting ready for the mal grand seizure to happen INSTEAD of focusing in the fact that I'm getting my psychology degree in december. I feel stupid and sad, cause how am i going to help other people if I can't help myself. To get rid of the idea of me getting brain cancer because of cell phones it's hard every single minute I check on the internet for symptoms, stories, youtube videos of surgeries (terrible idea!) I've been crying all of these weeks thinkinf that if I haven't used my phone that much I would be okay. *sigh* I'll try to ask my parents for money go to a psychiatrist next to see If I can get any help, I know my family loves me but they're probably sick of me. Ct scan was almost 5 years ago, I also thought about getting cancer because the ionizing radiation of the ct scan :( I cry because I feel miserable and don't wanna keep feeling like this, I haven't been happy, I have no friends besides my classmates, i don't have a boyfriend, My whole life has been WASTED thinking I have terminal illnesses :'(
No worries. Looked a bit odd, first time poster and all that
[QUOTE]smelled phantom smell of smoke[/QUOTE
I'll just let people digest that phrase, and see if people think what i am thinking....
I'm scared of what you're thinking actually... My ct scan was almost 5 years ago and the smoke smell only happened once last year, I also smell like mucus inside my nose but I have had many years smelling it. I'll probably go to an eye doctor first to see if they can spot anything in my brain.
nomorepanic
22-01-18, 18:18
Don't worry Elle - Wilky thought you were another member with a new account on here.
[QUOTE=wilky44;1757038]
I'm scared of what you're thinking actually... My ct scan was almost 5 years ago and the smoke smell only happened once last year, I also smell like mucus inside my nose but I have had many years smelling it. I'll probably go to an eye doctor first to see if they can spot anything in my brain.
Yes, many apologies. :welcome:
[QUOTE=wilky44;1757038]
I'm scared of what you're thinking actually... My ct scan was almost 5 years ago and the smoke smell only happened once last year, I also smell like mucus inside my nose but I have had many years smelling it. I'll probably go to an eye doctor first to see if they can spot anything in my brain.
He only meant you remind him of another poster with the same fear. Forum politics, nothing to do with your post.
There is some logic poking through the clouds in your posts, try and grab on to that. All worry about phones and a single CT scans are bunkum, seriously try and ignore those thoughts. And yes if you can get some therapy it's so worth it.
And stop Googling!
I don't recognise your country's flag?
[QUOTE=elle95;1757044]
He only meant you remind him of another poster with the same fear. Forum politics, nothing to do with your post.
There is some logic poking through the clouds in your posts, try and grab on to that. All worry about phones and a single CT scans are bunkum, seriously try and ignore those thoughts. And yes if you can get some therapy it's so worth it.
And stop Googling!
I don't recognise your country's flag?
Lol I thought he was thinking that I have a brain tumor indeed! Hahah. Yeah I know these fears are irrational but you know it's just so hard to get rid of them, I lose control everytime! I'll see how I go the next days, but thank you guys for repllying I feel a bit better. I'll update whatever happens
Country is the Dominican Republic! Gracias a todos :)
Hi guys hope everyone is doing ok. Sorry for the long post again but I jist don't know what to do anymore. So in my previous thread I talked about how I was scared and convinced that I have a brain tumor now. I've had this fear since I was 14 and I'm 22, never had gotten any sort of therapy only two sessions, I only took alprazolam in the past ocassionally. I really want to stop thinking that I have a brain tumor but my mind won't let me it's like "You have a brain tumor cause you've had x symptom" so my mind can never be at ease. I'm ready to go to college next week but I can't concentrate I can't stop thinking that I'm dying and going to college would be in vain. Here are my symptoms if anyonr can relate and help me but I'm desperate I also have depression have many negative thoughts about my life and can't go to a doctor in two months cause my insurance is frozen.
Old symptoms (4+ years with them):
Pressure in head, Sharp pains in head, shooting pains in head, tics/twitches/spams all over my body, sharp pain in chest, ectopic beats, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, dizzines, drowsiness, muscle pain, eye pressure like they're going to pop out, vertigo, hypervigilance, misophonia, constipation, ocassional diarrhea, back pain, low grade fever, tremors, insomnia, paranoia.
New symptoms (around 6 months with them):
Localised headaches specially in the top right side of my head and behind my right ear, shooting headache in my whole head like its being splashed/crushed, trouble finding words, short memory loss (it only lasted for a week but it seems that I'm ok now), nausea, deja-vus, earaches, face going numb, left leg pain, hands pain, pins and needles, weakness in limbs, neck pain (like neuralgia I think), eye pain, pelvic pain and the one that worries me the most and makes me think that I have the brain tumor: phantom smell. Smelled smoke 5 months ago, didn't remember it was a brain tumor symptom until I started to look up in google and I was horrified, lately I've been reading stories of people with phantoms smells getting diagnosed with brain cancer, and today I smelled a ricotta cheese with strawberry sauce that I ate two weeks ago, I closed my nose to see If i could still smell it and it was still there!! I was so confused and cried because this seems to confirm more my fear, the smell lasted less than a minute only and I haven't smelled it again today and it was a slight/weak smell. Anyone can relate?? :( any advice? I eant to believe it's just my health anxiety but sometimes I can't believe it can produce such things like these!
I go through brain tumour alley several times a year, I understand people get them and die from them, some are treated successfully but suffer terrible, some catch it early, it happens and there's not much you can do but keep alert. You must attempt to transition to a state of being respectful of the threat it carries, and conscious of the chance, as with countless conditions but relegate it to a kind of folder to browse within once a week or so, without it consuming your whole life and becoming the purpose and background of your life even if you have little reason to be concerned about it at the present moment. You should voice your concerns to a doctor and have them offer you an informed opinion, I know that's not simple to do, but if it actually ruins and paints every day of your life, you need to be reassured or if you do have a tumour, diagnosed. I die from various conditions all the time, it of course does not mean I am immune to getting them lol, but it clearly means I've not been afflicted by them even if I was entirely convinced I was. Anxiety at its most severe level, is a very serious and debilitating condition itself. I also understand even if a professional gave you the all clear, within a few weeks it could come back full force anyway so it's not a magic curtain. There isn't anything that can give you certainty you'll never develop something horrid but if you're an avid googler you've probably learned a lot of dangerous clusters of symptoms which spell GET CHECKED OUT ASAP or OKAY, I'LL MONITOR THIS AND SEE IF IT IMPROVES OR WORSENS. So if you feel it's necessary, do visit a doctor, you should be treated for the dreadful anxiety regardless as it makes me unhappy you are suffering so much from it.
Hola Confetti, thank you so much for replying, I like to talk with people that go through the same without being judged :) How are you doing now?. Well, this fear is ruining my life right now, I need to get ready and prepare to leave my mom's house to go back tocollege but I can't cause I think I'm terminal. My anxiety crisis and my symptoms usually happen when I'm on college breaks, cause it's like my mind doesn't have anything else to focus, but it's hard for me to accept it and when new symptoms appear, thigs get harder. Omg I've had times when I had a echocardiogram and everything was optimal and the following weeks I wanted a holter and a angiopgrahy of my heart cause the fears came back after reaffirming that my heart was fine. All of these years I've been dying from many conditions as well and I'm still here haha, but in my mind I don't knwo how to take control of this and I totally agree, we're not immune to those awful diseases but we need to keep in mind the chances of getting them are relatively low even if we don't want to acknowledge it (I don't follow my own advice lol), here are about 100 brain tumors diagnosed every year and they're ussually people older than 50, tbh in my 22 years I've only heard three cases in my country, 2 famous people in their 50s and a teen boy who had another cancer so I guess it was methastasis. Lately I've been seeing lots of brain cancer stories on the tv or the dm in the uk, australia, us etc. and many of them in young children and it affects me and makes me sad that those little angels starting to live have to experience such a terrible cancer, if seeing an adult is already dreadful imagine a young child :(
It's usual for us people with health anxiety "loving" to go to doctors and have many procedures and tests to "confirm" our fears are real and not a product of our minds or somehow calm our uncertainty and in the past I was like that. Always going to the emergency room that the doctors started to get sick of me like here we go again but the last months I have developed a fear of going to the doctor as well, soooo scared to go cause I think they're going to confirm this, I was supossed to go to an eye doctor and a psychiatrist in the following weeks but I don't want to I'm terrified that they're going tk request mri and see that I have it, I'm even dreamjng a lot that I've been diagnosed with it, i hate this :( and the fact that I'm watching lots of brain tumor news and my mom also has been mentioning cancer a lot despite no one in our close family has had cancer, I feel like all of this is a sign or a premonition that I have it (God forbid).
But there's also this part of me that sometimes tells me that everything's going to be allright and that I shouldn't be scared of anything that comes, I wish I could always have this attitude but I've always been a very negative person thinking the worst case scenario, and since I'm also not immune to getting ill, I don't wanna have a negative attitude. I wanna be one of those people that are always smiling and fighting no matter what. I guess that positivity can help you outcome whatever you're going through. Well I'm going to try and find the courage to go the eye doctor first and then the psychiatrist. I'm still scared, but this is going to be the only way to ease my mind right? I wish I could stop googleing but everytime I try, a new symptom appears lol.
Regards :D .
Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing ok :) So, I came back to this thread to tell that yesterday I finally made it to the ophtalmologist, first time in 13 years (last time was when I was 9 due to burning eyes). As I stated earlier posts I wanted to go the eye doctor because of my headaches and eye shooting pains and to reassure I don't have a brain tumor since I heard they can spot brain tumors.
What he did first was making me read the numbers, had a bit difficulty reading the number but I read them correctly. Then after he put these eye drops that made my eyes stung and then he made me look into to that instrument don't know what the name is. ok so then put like a stick with a yellowish-orange-ish susbtance in my eye then, he made me look in another instrument, I guess he was like taking pics of my eyes I'm not sure. Then he told me I was suffering from migraines and that my eyes were normal, I of course didn't tell him that I thought I had a brain tumor cause doctors start to treat you like a loonie. After that I asked him to check my eye pressure and he said it was normal. He prescribed me flunarizine 5 mg for two months and 5 vitamin b6 b1 shots which is supposed to treat neuralgia.
Ok so one thing that I realized he was in a hurry, he performed my test in about 10 minutes, is this normal? I was searching on the internet and it says that average is about 15-30 minutes because they put you these eye drops to dilate the pupils to see the optic nerve and you eyesight gets blurry and he didn't do that to me. Even my sister who is not hypochondriac thought he did everythinf so fast. Now I'm getting worried that he missed out something to get rid of me in a blink of an eye and my head now is like a ticking bomb with a brain tumor!
I just want to know if some of you guys have gone through the same situation, and if you have had an eye test how long does it take? Now I can't go to another doctor in at least 3 months, if I go I'll probably go straight away to a neurologist but I want to hear your opinion and advice on this, thank you :D
Now I'm worried about a sarcoma, lymphoma or spinal cancer...
Hi guys, so lately I've been jumping from fear to fear, and I don't know If I can't keep my life like, I get death thoughts cause I'm tired of feeling this miserable. I suffer from scoliosis since I was 10 years old, I'm a bit tall like 1.72, I wore a back brace when i was 13/14 for 6 months but I just simply stopped using it cause it was uncomfortable but I may regret it now. I still have the brain tumor fear, I went to an ophtalmologist, exam took 10 minutes and he said my eyes looked "normal" and that I was just suffering from migraines. I'm not 100% convinced but I will hold on and see. Ok so everyday I sleep 7 or 8 hours but the quality of the sleep is awful cause I fall asleep worried about cancer and when I dream is just about being diagnosed with cancer or death.
Last week I developed this numbess feeling in my lower back, I had to stretch everytime cause it felt so weird and it also hurted wheb I move or bend over.. Then when I'm touching the same spot where my back hurts, I feel these little muscle fibres, ligaments, lumps or whatever and of course I freaked out and started thinking of cancer in my spine! Or what if the "brain tumor" methastazed to my spine? (God forbid). My spine in that exact spot feels sore and tender and my spine makes some cracking noise and dr google told me it could be methastasis, spine tumor of sarcoma, lymphoma or a herniation. I don't know what to do now should I be worried? I get sharp pain also in my back, but the main place is my head like 80 percent of the time. I can't enjoy my life, can't concentrate in college please help could this all be muscular cause my whole body feels tigh and when I strecth I get the muscle twitches/tetania but now my worry is a lymphoma or a sarcoma
---------- Post added at 08:50 ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 ----------
I asked my sister who is a orthopaedist, but can also be a catasthrophcist and told me it could be fibromyalgia if I have brown spots in my body, and almost all of my body hair follicles look brown dots little bumps
---------- Post added at 08:54 ---------- Previous post was at 08:50 ----------
Forgot to say that the little "muscles, bumps or ligaments" where my back hurts feel on top of my spine in the lumbar region
Hi, I hope all is well with you guyss.
I have headaches, they're not new to me, but are more persistent and yeah headaches are not the only symptom of a brain tumor, it is very unlikely.. Shooting pain in my head that immediately give me a panic attack, they'rr like electric shocks, sometimes feel like a hammer but thank God they only last seconds (But I can have many of them in a day)
But I also have these sudden depression/sadness feeling that only last seconds and I feel stupid when it happens. Have experienced it this since I was like 4 years old, maybe 3 or 4 times a year, but last summer when my brain tumor struck me agaij they happened more often and according to dr Google, changes in mood or sensory could mean focal seizures or simple partial seizures, and seizures are a warning sign of brain tumor. I also have had muscle twitches for several years, but I'm actually used to them now, although they terrified me when they happened at first, but I'm scared these are muscle seizure. Anyone can relate to these symptoms?
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Elen
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