View Full Version : New Call for meet.
Well folks been let down again I cant find the thread but built my hopes up yet again only to be let down, how much more can my mind take its horrible
and so bloody pointless :weep: So here I am again looking for a genuine meet for coffee/beer/chat but I wont hold my breath so any genuine members in the same boat get in touch. thx ATB
Sorry to hear this, Dave. Who let you down? Not been around much as I have had a lot going on. Was hoping the New Year would bring some luck your way :shrug:
Hi KK well believe you me Iam very tempted to name and shame them I have sent a second email to them to find out what has gone wrong if I don't get a reply I will name them. thank you for your concern mate :) ATB
Don't name them, Dave. it won't help you deal with this.
I hope things work out and you do get a meet-up but it'll only make you feel worse if you take this personally. I know it means a lot to you but other people can be very casual with arrangements and not realise the hurt they cause.
pulisa to me it would help if I did name and shame them I am fed up of being mr nice guy and being walked over by time wasters yes think you are right though. one day I will end up hateing people totally and that day is drawing nearer and nearer now:weep: Thx for your comments ATB
---------- Post added at 14:50 ---------- Previous post was at 14:27 ----------
One question for anyone as I cant make sense of this text message (of some one I have known for a while ok heres the quick story: some one I had meet locally they used to come and see me quite a lot. in one week they called to see me on 4 consecutive days in row any way recently they have gone very cold and say I am attention seeking now bah.
we sent a few messages today and I asked them why did they call and see me a lot they said cause they had the patience not sure what they mean by this comment can some one shed any light on this please?? TIA :) ATB
Catherine S
03-03-18, 15:19
Maybe he/she was just trying to help but after some time they felt they weren't helping you, or themselves. That's the problem with meeting a fellow sufferer...it's the blind leading the blind really isn't it. I guess for some it works, but not for all.
Cath ☺
One question for anyone as I cant make sense of this text message (of some one I have known for a while ok heres the quick story: some one I had meet locally they used to come and see me quite a lot. in one week they called to see me on 4 consecutive days in row any way recently they have gone very cold and say I am attention seeking now bah.
we sent a few messages today and I asked them why did they call and see me a lot they said cause they had the patience not sure what they mean by this comment can some one shed any light on this please?? TIA :) ATB
BBoy... I've followed a bit of your socializing journey since you began. I recall telling not to put to much effort into it on this site as in my opinion, it wouldn't yield positive results. On most social sites, the focus is on actually meeting people. This is an anxiety site and anxiety, as you know, is a mental illness that tends to isolate the person from the world. People tend to withdraw into themselves. While I don't feel it's always intentional, there's a level of selfishness that permeates someone with anxiety, especially those with HA. That's clearly illustrated here on the forum. When you think about it, we're all behind the wall of a computer screen and that offers protection. Take that protection away and it exposes more than perhaps a person feels comfortable with.
The results thus far in your quest for meetups has not been positive as shown by this and other threads on the subject. It's difficult at best to deal with someone with mental illness. I know this personally from my 1st marriage and a few relationships afterwards. My ex was so deep in her depression and subsequent hoarding that she effectively pushed me out of her life and eventually out of the marriage. Relationships are about give and take and when it becomes too one sided, one can run out the patience to deal with it. That tendency of sufferers to withdraw into themselves is what I feel the text meant.
There are some very nice people here, but perhaps as I advised when you started this quest, real life groups and meet ups would be more successful. There are groups that meet for things like dogs (which you have a passion for), hiking, bike riding etc. where you can join people with similar interests and make friends. At the same time, working on yourself is key. Quit the cigarettes, get the hoarding sorted out etc. Those things alone will improve your life and the chances of finding friends. If you come on too strong or seem needy, that can push people away.
While I don't know you personally, from what I've read here, you're a very compassionate and caring person. I wish you success in finding a balance and people that love and respect you for who you are as a person. I will reiterate, based on the results thus far, that perhaps this forum is not the best place to start.
Positive thoughts
Maybe he/she was just trying to help but after some time they felt they weren't helping you, or themselves. That's the problem with meeting a fellow sufferer...it's the blind leading the blind really isn't it. I guess for some it works, but not for all.
Cath ☺ Hi Cath don't think they are a fellow sufferer as such they never talked about this they just messaged me saying they are happy to start calling again so who knows what what?? Just hope they don't mess me around.Thanks Cath
Don't name them, Dave. it won't help you deal with this.
I hope things work out and you do get a meet-up but it'll only make you feel worse if you take this personally. I know it means a lot to you but other people can be very casual with arrangements and not realise the hurt they cause.
Agree totally, and by "outing" that person, you demonstrate a negative side that others will want to avoid. I stand by my advice in several previous posts about this.
I found in my own life journey that feeling content and happy with myself was the key to being able to navigate personal relationships.
Positive thoughts
BBoy... I've followed a bit of your socializing journey since you began. I recall telling not to put to much effort into it on this site as in my opinion, it wouldn't yield positive results. On most social sites, the focus is on actually meeting people. This is an anxiety site and anxiety, as you know, is a mental illness that tends to isolate the person from the world. People tend to withdraw into themselves. While I don't feel it's always intentional, there's a level of selfishness that permeates someone with anxiety, especially those with HA. That's clearly illustrated here on the forum. When you think about it, we're all behind the wall of a computer screen and that offers protection. Take that protection away and it exposes more than perhaps a person feels comfortable with.
The results thus far in your quest for meetups has not been positive as shown by this and other threads on the subject. It's difficult at best to deal with someone with mental illness. I know this personally from my 1st marriage and a few relationships afterwards. My ex was so deep in her depression and subsequent hoarding that she effectively pushed me out of her life and eventually out of the marriage. Relationships are about give and take and when it becomes too one sided, one can run out the patience to deal with it. That tendency of sufferers to withdraw into themselves is what I feel the text meant.
There are some very nice people here, but perhaps as I advised when you started this quest, real life groups and meet ups would be more successful. There are groups that meet for things like dogs (which you have a passion for), hiking, bike riding etc. where you can join people with similar interests and make friends. At the same time, working on yourself is key. Quit the cigarettes, get the hoarding sorted out etc. Those things alone will improve your life and the chances of finding friends. If you come on too strong or seem needy, that can push people away.
While I don't know you personally, from what I've read here, you're a very compassionate and caring person. I wish you success in finding a balance and people that love and respect you for who you are as a person. I will reiterate, based on the results thus far, that perhaps this forum is not the best place to start.
Positive thoughts
Very well said FMP
Some great advice from everyone Dave, I truly hope that it all works out for you.
Ok Folks Advice heeded :)_But boy its hard thank you ;) ATB
It is hard, I know that you have your reasons for not liking group meetings, but meeting someone on a one to one basis can be quite intimidating.
Perhaps getting involved in things that interest you would help meantime.
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