at82
03-03-18, 16:36
I suffer from GAD and sometimes it is worse than others. At the moment I am suffering very badly bought on probably by a change in circumstances. I am 35 and been self employed for 12 years, my business never really made any money but it was enough to run a car, have a few holidays and have a decent social life. I am still living at home but trying to save up for a deposit.
I started a new part time job a few months which makes good use of my degree and other qualifications I have achieved since leaving university. I am generally working between 2-3 days in this job and running my business the other days.
I now find myself at 35, still living at home and haven't been in a relationship for 8 years. I was never happy but just distracted myself with holidays and going out a lot. I just don't know how to relax and always have to keep busy.
I have a huge fear of rejection and this is why I have been single and and not done anything about earning more money over the past few years. I just carried on not really living and wasting my life. Over the past year me and this girl who has just been divorced after a long marriage have been flirting and it ended up with me sleeping with her before Christmas. She is my mates girlfriends best friend, although I knew her before he know his gf. She just wants a bit of fun and I want more, this is what has started my anxiety triggers. I always worry about what my mates gf has said to her etc. A theme with all my past relationships is the girl always has to make the first move as I am far too scared of being rejected.
My anxiety means I always think the worse is going to happen in any given scenario and it is holding back my life. The night I spent with this girl has reminded me what I have been missing and I just want to be normal and have a normal relationship. I have recently been prescribed Fluoxetine to help with my anxiety but it is only my fourth day on the drug so I am not sure if it will help yet. There is a 7 month wait for CBT on the NHS but I hoping to start that.
There is another girl I am really interested in and she clearly likes me but I am too scared to ask her out because everybody knows everybody, I live in a big city but I am part of a music scene and everybody knows each other it is like living in a small village. Also with my anxiety like this I don't see how I can cope in a relationship.
Sorry if this is such a long post, but I just want to change my life around so I am no long failing but the process is causing me a great deal of anxiety. I get things into my head that people hate me but it is all in my head (mostly!). In short I am 35 years old, single, living with my parents, not earning a huge amount and despite having a good degree I just feel my anxiety has meant I have wasted my life :( With CBT do things get better? I am considering paying privately as I fear time is running out to get my life back in order.
I started a new part time job a few months which makes good use of my degree and other qualifications I have achieved since leaving university. I am generally working between 2-3 days in this job and running my business the other days.
I now find myself at 35, still living at home and haven't been in a relationship for 8 years. I was never happy but just distracted myself with holidays and going out a lot. I just don't know how to relax and always have to keep busy.
I have a huge fear of rejection and this is why I have been single and and not done anything about earning more money over the past few years. I just carried on not really living and wasting my life. Over the past year me and this girl who has just been divorced after a long marriage have been flirting and it ended up with me sleeping with her before Christmas. She is my mates girlfriends best friend, although I knew her before he know his gf. She just wants a bit of fun and I want more, this is what has started my anxiety triggers. I always worry about what my mates gf has said to her etc. A theme with all my past relationships is the girl always has to make the first move as I am far too scared of being rejected.
My anxiety means I always think the worse is going to happen in any given scenario and it is holding back my life. The night I spent with this girl has reminded me what I have been missing and I just want to be normal and have a normal relationship. I have recently been prescribed Fluoxetine to help with my anxiety but it is only my fourth day on the drug so I am not sure if it will help yet. There is a 7 month wait for CBT on the NHS but I hoping to start that.
There is another girl I am really interested in and she clearly likes me but I am too scared to ask her out because everybody knows everybody, I live in a big city but I am part of a music scene and everybody knows each other it is like living in a small village. Also with my anxiety like this I don't see how I can cope in a relationship.
Sorry if this is such a long post, but I just want to change my life around so I am no long failing but the process is causing me a great deal of anxiety. I get things into my head that people hate me but it is all in my head (mostly!). In short I am 35 years old, single, living with my parents, not earning a huge amount and despite having a good degree I just feel my anxiety has meant I have wasted my life :( With CBT do things get better? I am considering paying privately as I fear time is running out to get my life back in order.