Is this anxiety?

[roseanxiety]

I have had health anxiety for several years . I am now dealing with several problems in my life ( an alcoholic 26 yo son living with us, an alcoholic husband , a brother who had a massive stroke at 60 and is paralyzed on one side with little hope of recovery from that, who depends on me a lot , working full time and have 5 grown children and 5 grandchildren.). I take Buspar for anxiety and an occasional Xanax (twice a month). I woke up today feeling very nervous and sort of like i couldn’t keep my thoughts together. I took a Xanax and i feel a little better but am wondering if this could be normal. Well, not normal but a manifestation of everything i am going through. I am worried it may be a physical ailment .

Thoughts please?


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[Fishmanpa]

Frankly, with that kind of personal turmoil, it's not surprising that you're anxiety is a bonfire right now. Hope you find some relief.

Positive thoughts

[lior]

It's possible to be more prone to getting physical ailments when you're stressed.

It sounds like you're taking a lot of responsibility in looking after other people.
Is there any way you could get more support as a carer?
Have you been in any therapy, or any co-dependancy meet ups? (No idea if you are co-dependant, I just heard it's common with partners of alcoholics. I considered going when I was briefly in a relationship with someone who had another kind of addiction, but I ended the relationship instead.)
You can't change other people, but you can change yourself.

I find that if I look after my needs first, it's much easier to support other people. My mental health is more of a problem if I'm not adequately looking after myself, then I'm no use to anyone.

In my opinion, no matter how much anyone is asking for support from you, your first priority ought to be looking after yourself. If you don't look after yourself, who will? I know this opinion is not shared by many people because it sounds selfish, but in practice it makes me more able to be a better friend once I've got myself sorted.

The burden is often put on women to be carers for others, and we're expected to not have our own needs, and be able to be endlessly giving. This is bullshit in my opinion. I'm guessing you may have been put into this position very often in your life so it's the norm for you. I was put in that position myself. I hit a point where it destroyed me. Then I revolted and totally changed my life. It was agonising, but my life now is so much more healthy for it.

[roseanxiety]

Thank you all for your replies. I am feeling better and i believe it was anxiety that caused it. I do go to Al anon for support.


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