Bhamgirl
05-03-18, 20:00
Hi all,
This is my first post, and quite frankly I don't know where to begin. I'm scared, hopeless, and remain unconvinced that all of my physical symptoms are anxiety related. So, I'm hoping that others here can relate to my specific symptoms and provide some much needed reassurance that I don't have any serious illness.
I will preface this by saying that I KNOW I am suffering with a great deal of stress and have for many years now. I am currently in Physician Assistant school, and the program is intense to say the least. I am also a wife and mother to two children (ages 10 and 7). My symptoms began this summer when I started school and was working 12-14 hour days. The most bothersome symptoms have been:
Body wide trembling, especially in hands and legs
Trembling and weak feeling in my legs, "jelly legs"
and the most troubling is a twitching, involuntary movements in my right pinky toe
All of these symptoms are primarily right sided, and that's where my medical brain kicks in and tries to convince me that anxiety typically presents bilaterally. This has me terrified. I'm not sleeping. I'm not eating. But I have to keep going because school and family mandates it. So I've been running on pure adrenaline for MONTHS now. My body and my nerves are completely shot.
I want and need to believe this is anxiety, but as y'all know, that's not so easy to convince a HA brain. I'm being suffocated by the worry, by the endless "what if" game. I can't stand it anymore.
And yes, I have been THOROUGHLY and REPEATEDLY checked out by many doctors, had all the tests, etc...but I still can't believe anxiety would present only on one side of my body like this. I try to use my medical training to convince myself of this, but it's just not working. I feel like medication is my next best step, but I've never done well with meds. Yet at this point, I don't see an alternative.
Any reassurance would be so greatly appreciated. And I am so sorry for such a long post!!
This is my first post, and quite frankly I don't know where to begin. I'm scared, hopeless, and remain unconvinced that all of my physical symptoms are anxiety related. So, I'm hoping that others here can relate to my specific symptoms and provide some much needed reassurance that I don't have any serious illness.
I will preface this by saying that I KNOW I am suffering with a great deal of stress and have for many years now. I am currently in Physician Assistant school, and the program is intense to say the least. I am also a wife and mother to two children (ages 10 and 7). My symptoms began this summer when I started school and was working 12-14 hour days. The most bothersome symptoms have been:
Body wide trembling, especially in hands and legs
Trembling and weak feeling in my legs, "jelly legs"
and the most troubling is a twitching, involuntary movements in my right pinky toe
All of these symptoms are primarily right sided, and that's where my medical brain kicks in and tries to convince me that anxiety typically presents bilaterally. This has me terrified. I'm not sleeping. I'm not eating. But I have to keep going because school and family mandates it. So I've been running on pure adrenaline for MONTHS now. My body and my nerves are completely shot.
I want and need to believe this is anxiety, but as y'all know, that's not so easy to convince a HA brain. I'm being suffocated by the worry, by the endless "what if" game. I can't stand it anymore.
And yes, I have been THOROUGHLY and REPEATEDLY checked out by many doctors, had all the tests, etc...but I still can't believe anxiety would present only on one side of my body like this. I try to use my medical training to convince myself of this, but it's just not working. I feel like medication is my next best step, but I've never done well with meds. Yet at this point, I don't see an alternative.
Any reassurance would be so greatly appreciated. And I am so sorry for such a long post!!