New dog and increased anxiety

[Susanc241]

Hello, I have seen some threads on this topic but they seem to be years old or closed so forgive me for starting another one.
I am a long time (50 years) sufferer of agoraphobia in the beginning and more lately generalised social anxiety with a bit of agoraphobia mixed in. In recent years, last 20 say, I have been able to live without too much trouble and no regular daily medication except a yearly px for Lorazepam which I keep for one off events (hospital appts and the like) and then only half a tablet, just to take the edge off.
After I retired I wanted a dog but left it until both my husband and I had done so, then did thorough homework on keeping a dog, how having a pet is good for those with anxiety, watched all the dog training shows etc. Finally after a year of active concentrated preparation we went to choose a rescue dog. An adult small medium mutt. She is adorable and so affectionate but from day one my anxiety levels shot up. I was so surprised and not to say disappointed. Initially I expected the anxiety to drop off as the weeks went by, but it is over three months now and while some days are better than others, overall it is much the same. I wake most mornings with my heart in my mouth and butterflies in my stomach and I don’t know why nor understand it. On the point of seeking help/advice from my GP. Now we have bonded with her I don’t want to give her up. I see it as my problem, not hers. All I am looking for is someone else who is in or has been in a similarly situation and would like to have some chats about coping mechanisms and outcomes. I know talking and sharing does help. Me anyway. Sorry this is long.

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Susan I have had my dog for over 10 years recently I have lost the will to carry on even with her I have been irritable towards her and got a bit angry with her in the last week and yet she knows how down I feel and I cried for the first time in ages she was there on the chair with me drying my tears (by licking my face she knew something was wrong) how wonderful is that :) So what seems to be the trigger for you at this moment in time? And no I don't want to give her up either! Think you are right it is your problem Dogs have the power to help you to get better so yes can relate to your story! ATB

[Susanc241]

I can’t be absolutely sure what the original trigger was. She was not used to walking on a lead and on the very first walk she shot in front of me while I was in mid stride (after a cat I didn’t see in time) and I tripped over the lead or her, not sure which, and hit the deck. Was more embarrassed than anything and just had a grazed knee. I didn’t let go of the lead but I still worry a lot about her escaping and running off. I still get super anxious before taking her out but am OK mostly once out. It could have been this, I suppose. I don’t like leaving her 'home alone' but essential for things like grocery shopping and it has never been longer than two hours but I am anxious before leaving her. My sleep has been disturbed quite a lot due to the high level of anxiety but that has improved in the more recent weeks. My original agoraphobia started with a panic attack when my first child was three weeks old and I have been very aware of the similarity between the enormity of the responsibility for the life of a baby and that of a dog you have given a forever home to. At least this time round I have the advantage of knowing what I am dealing with. Back in the 1960s when I sought help I was dismissed out of hand and told not to be silly (elderly GP). By the time help was available the problem was deeply entrenched.
Thank you for responding.

[Bigboyuk]

What dog have you got and I take its a rescue? Kudos to you for taking this dog in :) Do you have any history of this dog? If you are having any issues then I can help you. How old is she and what is she called? Yes it can cause anxiety what you have described in your post but it will get easier if you begin to change her behaviour :) Let me know and I will do my best to help ATB

[Susanc241]

Yes, she is a Romanian street dog, though suspect never feral, but perhaps a stray in the wrong place, wrong time and got scooped up when they were doing one of their dog roundups. She just loves people and has never shown any fear of them so that makes me think never a true feral. She's thought to be around 17 or 18 months old now, so still a bit of puppy in her. She usually walks like a dream now for my husband but tends to be skittish and obstinate with me, which I put down to her picking up on my anxiety. When I walk her hubby tends to follow at a distance so can help out if she acts up or stops and refuses to move on, which is the new thing this last week or so. Also did that to hubby yesterday when they were approached by a large intimidating dog not on a lead and an owner glued to his phone taking no notice. Hubby had to fend off said dog with his foot until owner walked off and dog followed. Our dog then refused to continue with walk (same way as big dog went but by then out of sight) but happy to turn back and come home. We will find out today if she will even go on that same route again. Not sure how to tackle that if she won’t.
I have 'emergency' Lorazepam (don’t take anything for anxiety on a daily basis) and I am going to take a half tablet later to see if reducing my anxiety state a bit will reflect on the dog, who is called Tilly, by the way. I only ever take half a 10mg tab as it is enough to take the edge off for me as I do not take them very often, half dozen times a year, maybe. I have taken Amitriptyline before, last year, 10mg dose for a month while on a long cruise, as recommended by my GP as apparently it also dampens the nerves. I am considering going back to her and asking if I can try them again. I know I felt on a more even keel on them (holidays are a really stressful thing for me and this was my last foreign trip, endured for the sake of my husband, hence only getting a dog end of last year).
Thank you for your continued interest.

[Bigboyuk]

Yes, she is a Romanian street dog, though suspect never feral, but perhaps a stray in the wrong place, wrong time and got scooped up when they were doing one of their dog roundups. She just loves people and has never shown any fear of them so that makes me think never a true feral. She's thought to be around 17 or 18 months old now, so still a bit of puppy in her. She usually walks like a dream now for my husband but tends to be skittish and obstinate with me, which I put down to her picking up on my anxiety. When I walk her hubby tends to follow at a distance so can help out if she acts up or stops and refuses to move on, which is the new thing this last week or so. Also did that to hubby yesterday when they were approached by a large intimidating dog not on a lead and an owner glued to his phone taking no notice. Hubby had to fend off said dog with his foot until owner walked off and dog followed. Our dog then refused to continue with walk (same way as big dog went but by then out of sight) but happy to turn back and come home. We will find out today if she will even go on that same route again. Not sure how to tackle that if she won’t.
I have 'emergency' Lorazepam (don’t take anything for anxiety on a daily basis) and I am going to take a half tablet later to see if reducing my anxiety state a bit will reflect on the dog, who is called Tilly, by the way. I only ever take half a 10mg tab as it is enough to take the edge off for me as I do not take them very often, half dozen times a year, maybe. I have taken Amitriptyline before, last year, 10mg dose for a month while on a long cruise, as recommended by my GP as apparently it also dampens the nerves. I am considering going back to her and asking if I can try them again. I know I felt on a more even keel on them (holidays are a really stressful thing for me and this was my last foreign trip, endured for the sake of my husband, hence only getting a dog end of last year).
Thank you for your continued interest. Hi It's np :) Aww sounds nice
Yes could be and even feral ones if raised earlier enough can be just fine with other people, but it does sound like a clean the streets up excersise cause dogs are often dumped like rubbish when no longer needed:huh: I think why she plays up when you take her out isn't necessarily down to your anxiety but more to the point you aren't singing from the same hymn sheet as Hubby and also if the dog (how ever sweet she is) see's a chink in your armour then you will be taken advantage of so when hubby take her out you watch what he does and then do exactly the same :) Don't let her win on the route thing either my dog used to dig her heels in too, and I made the mistake of picking up and carrying her round then putting her on the ground then 2 mins later same thing happens, soon nipped that in the bud as soon as a problem arises you have to deal with it there and then other wise the unwanted behaviour becomes a learned behaviour and is hard to put right the longer you leave it! Sure if you can come over as more confident this will reflect on the dogs behaviour too. Please keep us updated ATB