View Full Version : Is this racing thoughts?
Hey guys
I recently posted about my fear of psychosis and/or schizophrenia. Since then I have upped my meds a bit, in collaboration with my doctor. I definitely feel an improvement in the anxiety department, and I feel a lot less on edge. However I've started having this really weird symptom, and was wondering if anybody else expierences it, as it kind of scares me right now.
At times during the day, especially in the morning or if I think about it, or "listen" for it, I will have what I can only describe as a lot of nonsensical chatter in my head. Like random phrases and words. The best way to describe it i guess, is that it feels like there's 10 people in my head talking about different things at the same time. I obviously know that's not the case, and it's generally my own voice, I just feel like it's racing about a million things, and I have little to no control over it.
Does anybody else get this? What is it? Could it be medication related? It seems to have gotten worse, especially in the morning, after I upped my dosage, but it might just be a coincidence.
I forgot to add: It is often, especially in a quiet environment accompanied by very loud Tinnitus, like a ringing and swooshing in my ear.
I don't know about the ringing and the swooshing in your ear, but I get those random thoughts a lot too, especially as I'm about to fall asleep, I get random images pop up. It can be a little scary, but it's just your own mind. (not saying that that's not scary in itself :roflmao:)
The reason I ask is because I've started obsessing about it, and I can't really understand the difference between this, and hearing internal voices. If both are unwanted and uncontrollable, what's the difference?
I'm afraid I don't have the answer to that. :( Maybe the difference is that you recognise the voices as your own rather than coming from an outside source... the latter classifying as Schizophrenia.
I'm unsure, though, I know very little about the condition.
Maybe you're right. The entire subject of internal monologue versus voices and such, is so confusing to me. It disappears whenever I'm otherwise occupied, but it still scares me. And it gets a lot worse when I "listen" for it. What I mean is, if I sit in silence and try to listen to my mind without thinking about anything, it shows up. Maybe it's like the pink elephant thing, where if you try to not think about a pink elephant, it's the very first thing you think about. As in, by listening for it, I make it happen myself, if that makes any sense, heh.
I think you're right with the pink elephant analogy. :)
The very fact that it happens only when you're not focused on something else or busy working, shows you that it's not something that is imposed upon you, but created by you instead.
We all do it, though, make ourselves more anxious. Anxiety itself is an obsession, I think. It's very tempting, almost impossible to resist not thinking about it, analysing it, researching it, etc. It's all-consuming.
Oh, how I know what you mean, with the endless research, analyzing, and obsession. That is probably one of the most accurate description I've heard of this disorder.
I was at a party with a couple of friends tonight, just for a couple of hours, no drinking, and it was gone, since I was busy socializing, and on the way home, I tried looking at it like you said, and it definitely helped. I mean, it still freaks me out, but I sort of realized that I am in complete control of it. It does show up uninvited at times though, and I think the exercise here, is to try and not let it freak me out.
Anxiety is weird. Intentionally doing stuff that freaks me out. How strange is that, hah :D
Haha I know, I feel the same! I'm pleased you socialised and felt better. :) That's it - you are in full control of it and so you shouldn't be afraid of it. Just keep thinking good thoughts and not let yourself get freaked out. :)
Yeah. Thanks for posting Ana, you somehow managed to make me realize that I am in a lot more control than I sometimes feel. I guess I knew already, but sometimes you just need to hear it from somebody else. As a side note, I read that the Tinnitus was a normal side effect of my medication, and that it should subside within a couple of weeks, so I think I might have just worked myself up a bit, with both things at once.
You're quite welcome, and I'm happy to help! :)
I know what you mean, though, as it's difficult to reason with yourself. Just like you say, sometimes you need to hear it from somebody else.
I think it's quite common to get worked up over things when you've got anxiety. I certainly can relate to that. It seems like there's always something to worry and fret about! :lac:
Definitely. I have obsessed over endless symptoms and thoughts. The funny thing is, since my fear revolves around mental disease, I am able to pretty much "fake" every single symptom. I spoke to my GP a couple of days ago about this, and he told me I was really bad at being psychotic, and we both had a laugh :D. I like to be able to laugh at myself sometimes, i feel it puts things into perspective. All these worries started for me almost 8 years ago, and I have still yet to actually hallucinate or actually believe any of my weird thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I'm even crazier for holding on to this for so long, than if I were to become what I fear :roflmao:
:roflmao: I like what your GP said. My therapist sometimes tries to make light of the situation because not taking yourself seriously actually helps alleviate some of that tension. I used to fear going crazy back when my anxiety first started, but now I'm no longer afraid of it as, if it's not happened in the last 17 years, it's unlikely that panic attack no. 500.001 is going to drive me insane. ;)
Hah, I'm hoping to get where you are at some point. But I guess it is unlikely for me too. I mean, since all this started for me about 8 years ago, it would probably be the longest development period for schizophrenia ever :D
You say that, but I wouldn't wish on you what I have haha. In all honesty, I'm still struggling with going places and I still fear panic attacks. At times, though, I'm able to just ride it out, let it happen whilst knowing nothing bad is going to happen. At other times, I get in a right state. It's not always easy, but I'll keep practising positive thinking so as to reassure myself and relax in the knowledge that I'm safe.
No I get what you mean. I think most of us would probably switch places with each other, because we all feel our version of anxiety is the worst. I think that's one of anxiety's trademarks. It's been many years since I've had a panic attack, but my symptoms did start with one. I used to smoke weed, and one day it caused a panic attack, where I became convinced I was gonna go psychotic. I never did, but had a lot of derealization problems afterwards, which created this whole insanity fear of mine. So I definitely get why you feel that way. And it's great to hear that you have such a positive attitude towards your betterment! :-)
Thank you, Stevsen. :) I'm trying my best to be more positive and it's definitely a novelty for me as I've been very pessimistic thus far. I completely agree with what you've said: we all think our anxiety is the worst. It's a very isolating condition, anxiety is. It makes us feel alone in our suffering. This site has helped me immensely as I've realised I'm definitely not alone and that recovery is possible. :)
It really is! I'm still quite new here, but I have to say, I'm grateful you replied. I really enjoyed having someone to talk to, who understands what I'm going through. I agree, it's great to know you're not alone. We'll beat this thing. Someday.
I'm starting group therapy soon, and I'm feeling hopeful. I think it might be really good for me. Fingers crossed!
Aw you're welcome! :D I'm happy to help.
I've had a very stressful day and I had a few panic attacks at work. :(
A while ago, my therapist has offered me group therapy, but I refused as I wanted her all to myself lol. :blush: However, I do find therapy quite useful, and I'm sure you will, too. Group therapy should eliminate that feeling of isolation that is quite common in anxiety sufferers.
I've had the same exact thing happen to me.
Mark, the racing thoughts or the panic attacks at work?
Just wanted to let you know that I have the exact same thing. The chatter gets worse when I let it happen and it stops when I'm occupied with something.
Anxiety makes us notice things more, and also, it does make our mind race. If you calm down, the racing mind calms down, too.
I also notice that I get it more when I spend too much time just with myself thinking about stuff. It's almost like thinking makes your mind race even more.
Also I hear you with not being able to distinguish between having an internal dialogue or having psychotic voices. I learned that the main difference is that if we were psychotic, we would hear them with our ears and we would think that these voices are real. As long as you can tell that these voices are in your head, in your own voice, that means they are your own thoughts rather than voices. Also, you stop them if you want, whereas truly psychotic people cannot stop them.
Yes, exactly, everything is worse when you're on your own. I find the same thing. I wish I could just be at peace with my own thoughts....
Yeah same here... I used to enjoy being all alone, now I always need people around.
I think the key is to stop being so afraid of our own thoughts.
I also used to feel most comfortable when on my own... I think that my issue is believing that my thoughts are somehow out of my control.
Yes, same here. Feels like they are out of control and we must probably learn that this is normal.
I think the subconscious is always out of control in every person. That's part of the definition about what subconsciousness is! I think our anxiety causes hyperawareness that makes us even notice our deepest, subconscious thoughts.
Clara, you're right. My therapist always tells me that my thoughts are mine and are therefore under my control, but it's somehow hard to believe this...
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