Pain/discomfort in my stomach and back

[Leeloo]

Hi guys, so...I'm not really sure where to start with this.

A couple of months ago I had a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy, just because my GP was a bit worried about appendicitis. Turned out that wasnt a problem, but they did say I had gastritis and redness in my duodenum.

At that time I didnt have much in the way of upper stomach symptoms and I was surprised.

Anyway, I went home thinking that was an end of it. But a few weeks ago I started getting nausea, discomfort and pain in my stomach and back and feeling really crap altogether.

I've got another gastroscopy scheduled for next week and I'm terrified not only about the procedure but what might be wrong with me.

The last gastroscopy I had was quite painful, and now my problems have got worse I know it's going to be even worse.

I keep having these catastrophic thoughts that either I have something serious with with my stomach/pancreas or that something is going to go wrong during the procedure and I'll end up being stuck terrified in hospital, in pain or dying...

I'm in a really bad spiral, any thoughts appreciated, peace x Rose

[jojo2316]

Hi! Poor you.
Do you mind me asking why you are having a second gastroscope so soon after the first?
Surely not much will have changed....
I too had one a few months ago, which found gastritis and SINCE then I have been getting odd, intermittent pains in my tummy and back. At first I thought it was the gastritis, but now I think it’s pancreatic cancer (chiefly because gastritis is far too benign an explanation for my HA addled brain!!)

[Leeloo]

Hi there! Thank you so much for the reply.

When I asked they just said it was routine due to the gastritis and the irritation in my duodenum, said they wanted to keep an eye on it. Also my esomerprazole was increased so I think maybe they're hoping thats had some effect?

I'm having exactly the same thoughts to be honest, I did go back to my GP who did some blood tests but they came back ok apparently.

I had a major meltdown last week and nearly ended up in an ambulance with a crazy panic attack (!!)

The pressure/intermittent pain comes and goes and I feel it in my back, my left shoulder and my stomach and I really dont know what to think. I've also been feeling weak in my arms.

Everybody around me is trying to reassure me, but I too have a brain full of people screaming about catastrophe xxx

[jojo2316]

Poor you Rose it sounds miserable. Did you have a h-pylori test? Common cause of gastritis I think (caused mine). Gastroscopy is very safe (less risk than colonoscopy I believe). Did you take a sedative last time? I found it didn’t make me sleepy but cured the discomfort (had one previously without, which was awful!)
Xx

[Leeloo]

They did test me for that and it came back negative, they arent sure what the route cause is.

I didnt have the sedative - I know this is gonna sound really weird but the thought of it scares me as much as the pain of the procedure - I've never had any kind of sedative/anaesthetic before (unless you count a bit of IV Valium on one of my trips to A&E) and I dont like the thought of being incapacitated? I guess that's my OCD kicking in - needing to have control.

[jojo2316]

Actually I felt the same but was amazed at how unsedated I felt: just a bit happier, relaxed and not in pain. And I remember everything about the procedure. It was quite enjoyable weirdly (with sedative: awful the time before). But I’m sure everyone reacts differently.

[Leeloo]

If I cant take the idea of the sedative I was hoping I could figure out some kind of simple hand signal system with the nurses - just to tell them if I have a lot of pain or need to stop. But I wondered if they might just find that stupid?

I think a lot of my anxiety is swirling around memories I have of my Dad - he got diagnosed with stomach and esophageal cancer five years ago. He had a lot of surgery and chemo and survived but it was a really hard time.

Having HA is crappy on a lot of levels, but especially on the one where people think it's somehow voluntary...It makes me feel so guilty x

[jojo2316]

I don’t think anyone would voluntarily go through this s***!
Sorry about your dad. But great he’s doing ok now. Was that the trigger for your HA?

[Leeloo]

It's horrible, at times unbearable. But doctors can make you feel like a time waster and it hurts.

Actually it wasnt, I've had HA since I was 7, before I even knew the names for half the things I was scared of!

I suffer a lot with intrusive bad thoughts, and my head keeps telling me that this gastroscopy is gonna have one of the following consequences 1) complications that kill or land me in hospital 2) Reveal something terrible 3) Be unbearably painful.

Do you have ways you cope with your HA? I've had quite a bit of therapy but at the moment nothing's helping x