Dantheman0011
12-03-18, 13:49
Hi All, I am a 33 year old male from the UK.
This is my first post although I have viewed the forum many times. I just wanted to discuss my anxiety and get some feedback from fellow sufferers.
Many years ago my anxiety all started with a big bang after spending my teenage years from about 17 to about 25 smoking lots of cannabis and going out drinking, smoking and partying and generally being a bit of a fool (As a lot of people are at that age). I made the decision to give up smoking cannabis when I was about 26 and that's when the anxiety started. I was having awful panic attacks and the doctor first gave me betablockers and eventually prescribed me 10mg of Citalopram. This worked well and helped me get my life back on track and I lived a healthy and happy life from then. Eventually I got off the Citalopram and carried on with my life. My partner of 4 years and I split up (Quite brutal) and that hit me very hard and I lost all interest in everything and of course ended up back on the Citalopram (20mg that time If I remember right). Eventually as before, I got my life back together and started living a normal life.
Anyway, I eventually met my (Now partner) who I have been with for over 3 years now. We have our ups and downs like any couple do but the last 6 months have been very hard. We have 2 children and since the birth of our youngest child she has had hormonal problems and that has caused us to have lots of arguments and fights over the last 6 months or so. Anyway, I battled on and over time I can only assume the stress built up more and more and eventually (About a month and a half ago) I had what could only e described as some sort of breakdown. My anxiety previously had been in the form of panic attacks and general low mood but this time it was all set around health. I haven't had a single panic attack (My pulse does get quite high at times) but the fight or flight response never fully takes over as it used to.
I began obsessing about my health. Convincing myself that I had terminal cancer as in about a year I went from being quite overweight (13 stone) I am only 5 ft 6 to being 10 stone 4. I started getting erectile dysfunction problems and completely lost my interest in everything. I previously had a blood test too an my testosterone levels came back as being slightly low so of course I began obsessing about this. I have since been to the doctors and had an examination and they fully believe the low testosterone was due to the stress I was under at the time. All my other bloods were completely fine. Anyway, the doctor put me on 10mg of Citalopram because I was obsessing about my health and diagnosing myself with everything with the assistance of our old chum Dr Google. The Citalopram started to work and low and behold the erectile dysfunction problems went and me and my partner started to get our lives back. However when it came to the time for the dose to be increased from 10mg to 20mg because I was still suffering from daily health anxiety thoughts and feelings I had a conversation with my doctor because the 20mg of Citalopram which I had taken previous completely killed my sexdrive. So we agreed that I would give Mirtazapine a try (Starting at 15mg) which I have been on for the last 16 days.
I thought it was working, I really did as a couple of days recently I have woken feeling a bit like my old self but I still can shake the daily aches and pains that I have. Nothing debilitating but general muscle stiffness in my back and neck. Head twinges and my legs and arms quite often ache too. Also my temper is quite bad recently (I used to be very patient) but I just have a much shorter fuse which isn't good when you have 2 young boys running around your house and a very demanding and hormonal partner.
I've signed up for CBT (Which I have never had) as I feel I need to address the anxiety head on and not just put it to a side by taking medication so I am just waiting for that to start.
What I don't understand is what happened next. Since starting on the Mirtazapine I have started to feel these small twitches under my skin (Eye lid twitch in one eye and then just fluttering (Almost bubbling feeling) for a few seconds in my legs, arms, chest, back and even in my temple the other day. If I am busy doing something then I don't even notice it but its when I am sitting on the sofa or at my desk at work I notice them throughout the day and as with all anxiety sufferers I have began obsessing about it.
What did I do... I tapped it into Google... (Why oh why did I do this)... Since then I have convinced myself that I now have ALS... Now I am quite an active person as I have a puppy and two young boys and we go walking every morning and sometimes for an hour or so in the woods at the weekend and I would consider myself to still be quite fit physically. I go running once or twice a week on my lunch break at work. Now I have promised myself that I wont go crawling back to the doctor and embarrass myself again with another illness that I have convinced myself that I have got.
What I want to know is can anxiety really make you feel these twitches in your body and give you these aches and pains? I really have a hard time believing this. It was easier when I was younger and I used to have panic attacks because they take so much out of you so you kind of understand why you feel so rough and ache so much. But now its more of a constant state of anxiety and I just don't get why I am feeling this way.
Can stress, anxiety (Maybe with the addition of my new medication) and possibly even depression really make your muscles twitch and ache like this? Can your mind really play tricks on you like this? As I can assure you before I started this Mirtazaine and before I read those words "ALS" on Google I didn't even notice these twitches and it just seems like a little too much of a coincidence that since coming off my 10mg of Citalopram and starting on Mirtazapine and reading those words on Google my body has started to do this. It's like my brain is actually trying to make me believe I have got this by presenting symptoms.
I didn't feel ill until I started to convince myself that I was ill... And ever since I started doing that I have become so obsessive and have had all the symptoms you can imagine and I just cant believe that the human mind is that powerful. My full list of symptoms are as below:
Slight headaches
Body aches (Lower back, middle and upper, neck, legs, sometimes arms but all comes and goes as the day does on.
Cant concentrate on anything - Mainly because I spend my time obsessing about what illness I might have.
My short term memory over the last 6 months or more has got really bad
Zoning out (one minute I am fully focused and the next I am staring into space)
Muscles twitching and tingling (This is a new one but has become something I have become very focused on).
Sometimes I get confused and just do something really dizzy like put my phone in the fridge (But this has actually got a lot better since starting back on the meds).
Now I am really looking for piece of mind from other health and general anxiety sufferers as I cannot and do not want to become one of these people that is at the doctors every few days as they are sick of the sight of me and rightly so as I have been there so much over the last few months and every time I convince myself that this is it and I am "Going to get the news" and I sit there in the waiting room all tensed up ready to explode and then in I do... The doctor see's me and its just nothing and my mind has been running away with me again... I got home... Feel relieved and a bit foolish... and then I find a new symptom and illness to obsess about...
Is this stuff I am going through really something that happens to others out there? Sometimes I feels like I am the only one and I just want to switch it off and start living my life again...
It might help when my Mirtazapine mg gets put up to 30mg in a week or two...
Please people... make me feel normal...
This is my first post although I have viewed the forum many times. I just wanted to discuss my anxiety and get some feedback from fellow sufferers.
Many years ago my anxiety all started with a big bang after spending my teenage years from about 17 to about 25 smoking lots of cannabis and going out drinking, smoking and partying and generally being a bit of a fool (As a lot of people are at that age). I made the decision to give up smoking cannabis when I was about 26 and that's when the anxiety started. I was having awful panic attacks and the doctor first gave me betablockers and eventually prescribed me 10mg of Citalopram. This worked well and helped me get my life back on track and I lived a healthy and happy life from then. Eventually I got off the Citalopram and carried on with my life. My partner of 4 years and I split up (Quite brutal) and that hit me very hard and I lost all interest in everything and of course ended up back on the Citalopram (20mg that time If I remember right). Eventually as before, I got my life back together and started living a normal life.
Anyway, I eventually met my (Now partner) who I have been with for over 3 years now. We have our ups and downs like any couple do but the last 6 months have been very hard. We have 2 children and since the birth of our youngest child she has had hormonal problems and that has caused us to have lots of arguments and fights over the last 6 months or so. Anyway, I battled on and over time I can only assume the stress built up more and more and eventually (About a month and a half ago) I had what could only e described as some sort of breakdown. My anxiety previously had been in the form of panic attacks and general low mood but this time it was all set around health. I haven't had a single panic attack (My pulse does get quite high at times) but the fight or flight response never fully takes over as it used to.
I began obsessing about my health. Convincing myself that I had terminal cancer as in about a year I went from being quite overweight (13 stone) I am only 5 ft 6 to being 10 stone 4. I started getting erectile dysfunction problems and completely lost my interest in everything. I previously had a blood test too an my testosterone levels came back as being slightly low so of course I began obsessing about this. I have since been to the doctors and had an examination and they fully believe the low testosterone was due to the stress I was under at the time. All my other bloods were completely fine. Anyway, the doctor put me on 10mg of Citalopram because I was obsessing about my health and diagnosing myself with everything with the assistance of our old chum Dr Google. The Citalopram started to work and low and behold the erectile dysfunction problems went and me and my partner started to get our lives back. However when it came to the time for the dose to be increased from 10mg to 20mg because I was still suffering from daily health anxiety thoughts and feelings I had a conversation with my doctor because the 20mg of Citalopram which I had taken previous completely killed my sexdrive. So we agreed that I would give Mirtazapine a try (Starting at 15mg) which I have been on for the last 16 days.
I thought it was working, I really did as a couple of days recently I have woken feeling a bit like my old self but I still can shake the daily aches and pains that I have. Nothing debilitating but general muscle stiffness in my back and neck. Head twinges and my legs and arms quite often ache too. Also my temper is quite bad recently (I used to be very patient) but I just have a much shorter fuse which isn't good when you have 2 young boys running around your house and a very demanding and hormonal partner.
I've signed up for CBT (Which I have never had) as I feel I need to address the anxiety head on and not just put it to a side by taking medication so I am just waiting for that to start.
What I don't understand is what happened next. Since starting on the Mirtazapine I have started to feel these small twitches under my skin (Eye lid twitch in one eye and then just fluttering (Almost bubbling feeling) for a few seconds in my legs, arms, chest, back and even in my temple the other day. If I am busy doing something then I don't even notice it but its when I am sitting on the sofa or at my desk at work I notice them throughout the day and as with all anxiety sufferers I have began obsessing about it.
What did I do... I tapped it into Google... (Why oh why did I do this)... Since then I have convinced myself that I now have ALS... Now I am quite an active person as I have a puppy and two young boys and we go walking every morning and sometimes for an hour or so in the woods at the weekend and I would consider myself to still be quite fit physically. I go running once or twice a week on my lunch break at work. Now I have promised myself that I wont go crawling back to the doctor and embarrass myself again with another illness that I have convinced myself that I have got.
What I want to know is can anxiety really make you feel these twitches in your body and give you these aches and pains? I really have a hard time believing this. It was easier when I was younger and I used to have panic attacks because they take so much out of you so you kind of understand why you feel so rough and ache so much. But now its more of a constant state of anxiety and I just don't get why I am feeling this way.
Can stress, anxiety (Maybe with the addition of my new medication) and possibly even depression really make your muscles twitch and ache like this? Can your mind really play tricks on you like this? As I can assure you before I started this Mirtazaine and before I read those words "ALS" on Google I didn't even notice these twitches and it just seems like a little too much of a coincidence that since coming off my 10mg of Citalopram and starting on Mirtazapine and reading those words on Google my body has started to do this. It's like my brain is actually trying to make me believe I have got this by presenting symptoms.
I didn't feel ill until I started to convince myself that I was ill... And ever since I started doing that I have become so obsessive and have had all the symptoms you can imagine and I just cant believe that the human mind is that powerful. My full list of symptoms are as below:
Slight headaches
Body aches (Lower back, middle and upper, neck, legs, sometimes arms but all comes and goes as the day does on.
Cant concentrate on anything - Mainly because I spend my time obsessing about what illness I might have.
My short term memory over the last 6 months or more has got really bad
Zoning out (one minute I am fully focused and the next I am staring into space)
Muscles twitching and tingling (This is a new one but has become something I have become very focused on).
Sometimes I get confused and just do something really dizzy like put my phone in the fridge (But this has actually got a lot better since starting back on the meds).
Now I am really looking for piece of mind from other health and general anxiety sufferers as I cannot and do not want to become one of these people that is at the doctors every few days as they are sick of the sight of me and rightly so as I have been there so much over the last few months and every time I convince myself that this is it and I am "Going to get the news" and I sit there in the waiting room all tensed up ready to explode and then in I do... The doctor see's me and its just nothing and my mind has been running away with me again... I got home... Feel relieved and a bit foolish... and then I find a new symptom and illness to obsess about...
Is this stuff I am going through really something that happens to others out there? Sometimes I feels like I am the only one and I just want to switch it off and start living my life again...
It might help when my Mirtazapine mg gets put up to 30mg in a week or two...
Please people... make me feel normal...