View Full Version : I lasted a week - pancreas worry
Hi All,
I was posting quite a lot on here the last few weeks with some pretty severe anxiety issues over oesophageal cancer. My current anxiety episode actually started with a visit to the doctor in December last year with some pains in my side and back. I wasn't at all worried at the time but since then have developed more symptoms and jumped from a brain tumour, to late stage testicular cancer to oesophageal cancer. I was tested through ultrasound of my abdomen and testes for testicular cancer and other things, and endoscopy for oesophageal cancer and both are clear. Just a week ago today I had the endoscopy and I've had a great week since. But the last few days the pains have gotten worse and my GP doesn't know what is causing them. I've never really talked symptoms on here because I know nobody can diagnose me but this might help my story. I have been getting reflux/indigestion type issues with lots of burping, which I have also never had before and a change in my bowel habits. I'm much more tired than normal, I have a recent rash appear on my face that has been there for over a month with no improvement and now my skin is itchy all over. I get episodes of feeling nauseous and have been sick a few times and my strangest one is recently having very slight but constant tinnitus.
I am seeing someone for my health anxiety, and my fiancé bought me a very good book I'm working my way through now. I am trying really hard with my HA but I've hit a wall here. My Aunt died of Pancreatic cancer just a year and a half ago and my symptoms match with what I remember from her time being diagnosed, I haven't googled any of this as I'm battling my HA urges.
My GP gave my some IBS tablets to try but they really don't do anything for me, and I think the pain I'm having is much further up than where IBS pain would be. I'm also 32 and have never had issues with what I eat before! I guess I'm back on here to get things off my chest. My fiancé was so happy last week with my clear test and mental health seeming better, but I feel I'm crushing her with going down the HA route again - although of course this time I think I might have found what has been wrong with me the whole time.... I never explained my most recent worry to my GP but have an appointment on Monday so will tell him then, I can already guess his reaction.
Sorry to be back posting on here, especially to those who helped me through last week
This is the nature of the HA beast, Chris. Relief from one worry and on to the next. All your current symptoms could be caused by stress and hyper-focusing on your bodily sensations. But you are not going to be satisfied by that suggestion..
One quick way to check out your pancreas is to ask for a blood test for amylase levels-that's if your GP agrees, of course.
I'm sorry you are in the mire again but you've got your ongoing therapy to help you manage these troublesome worries plus of course a very supportive fiancée and family. It is very hard work though just to keep your head above the HA water and far from easy no matter how hard you try.
Thanks Pulisa,
I know, I realise that is what the GP is going to say when I visit him on Monday. I did have routine blood tests in December and I remember them saying everything was okay, I don't know if that would have included checking the Pancreas - I'll ask on Monday. I didn't have this much pain back then though. They did check it on my abdominal ultrasound in January although I know that isn't very accurate for the Pancreas because of the position of it (again I haven't googled this I know it from past experience with my Aunt)
So I'm thinking that this has been my problem from the very start and my anxiety has led the doctors on various investigations for other things which were wrong but I guess had similar symptoms. I never gave the Pancreas a thought, a couple of GP's even asked me why I was so worried about cancer and I explained why - about my Aunt having Pancreatic cancer.
I'm so angry with myself for making me feel like this again. I had a great weekend and even bought a new car - a bigger one as we are planning a family after the wedding. Now I'm right back to worrying I wont even make the wedding. I have my next appointment with my psychologist on Friday which is good timing and hopefully can help, then I'll explain this to the GP on Monday and ask about the blood test you mentioned.
Health anxiety is worse than I thought. Every time I thought to myself - and even wrote down to remind myself - 'if it's not what I think it is now I wont have cancer and I wont just change to think it's another one' and I have, every time. Then when I look back at previous worries I realise how far off I was and feel stupid about it!
I think this three months of constant anxiety has taken it's toll. I feel absolutely broken. I don't know how people do this without any help. I'm getting help and it's still so so hard.
I'm having bother with a pressure feeling in my mouth - I've visited the dentist a few times over the last few months and she says my teeth and gums are fine. I'm convinced they aren't and this has caused pancreatic cancer somehow. This sounds bonkers to anyone else and I thought the same about oesophageal cancer before, but I'm so convinced. There is actual info on the NHS web site that has gum disease as a risk factor for PC (Idiot)
I hate this HA
The very positive thing is that you are not in denial about your HA. It is very powerful when you are tired and vulnerable and scared witless. You can be suggestible to absolutely any random sensation in your body.
Can you bring your therapy appointment forward to this Friday? (I believe you said it was next Friday).
Make use of any support you can, talk to your fiancée and whatever you do, stay off Google because all roads lead to cancer on there. Your Aunt's illness has obviously affected you deeply and your mind will be seeking out similarities in symptoms.
I think you should be firm with yourself and try and put a lid on your ruminations at least until your GP appointment on Monday? I know it seems impossible but you will just be adding to your distress and over-stretched nervous system and everything will seem overwhelming.
You're right, I do know I have HA - just a part of me thinks there is something real going on too, there's too much going on for it to be nothing - and nothing has been found on any tests yet. My psychologist appointment is tomorrow (sorry if it sounded like next) so that's a plus. My fiancé is coming with me on Monday to my GP, she has been before and it's good to have someone to back me up when I worry about things the GP has or hasn't said.
What happened with my Aunt will have added to all of this. It was such a shock and all happened so quickly. I was there in the hospice most days and had never been through anything like that at all. I can't put my family through that again, this can't be what I think it is.
I'll try very hard not to think the worst. After last week I honestly didn't think I would be back on here again, I was feeling great mentally for a couple of days at least.
As always thanks for the reply Pulisa, I appreciate your help and you have sent me many replies already the last couple of weeks through this
I don't want to be a pain (pardon the pun!) with my replies.
I just wonder whether your Aunt's sudden death may have affected you more psychologically than you think? Especially with your HA tendencies. It would have been a real trigger for all those lingering and persistent nagging thoughts..what if etc.
You are not being a pain at all. Yes I think you are correct, the loss probably had a greater effect on me than I thought. I also lost my grandfather and gran within the same 6th months - although they weren't cancer related I guess it all took it's toll.
That was just over a year ago now since all of that and I never really thought anything about my health at the time. It's only been the last 3 months this HA has been really bad.
I'll get over this, I'll get better
Course you will. I know you will. You have such a lot to get better for. Think of your potential family-it's an exciting time. Nothing is going to jeopardise that.
Thanks. I know. I think that because of the good things that almost makes me feel worse - because I have something good going on if that makes any sense? Like something to lose. I was in so much pain last night I was close to going to hospital but it subsided so I held off. I know that wouldn't have helped with HA but I was genuinely in a lot of pain.
It's almost as though you don't deserve anything good to happen to you or if it does then something awful will happen to you to snatch it away?
You can't believe that things are going to be fine?
I hope your therapy session today gave you some mental relief and maybe helped you manage your physical pain too? I am having constant neuropathic pain at the moment and the more I panic the worse it is.
Yeah something like that. Like it's picked the worst time to happen to me because I'm so happy.
My therapy today was good. Although she doesn't want me to visit the GP again but I'm torn as I am in physical pain. It's a tough situation!
darkside4k
16-03-18, 21:40
Going through similar. Today I have been too nauseous to even eat anything all day. Lots of burping as well.
I don't really think it's all that similar. You seem to be unable to control your HA, I can to an extent but have bad days or periods. I'm also getting professional help - are you?
I guess that was darkside's attempt to "help" others ....but it's all about his symptoms again..
You tell him, Chris!
Did a doctor look at the rash on your face?
Yes a doctor looked at it and thinks it's from stress. Going back to GP on Monday so will bring it up again
I get you, I am going through something similar.
Been 2 months and have had pain under left rib. Then started having other random pains, stomach, ect. Indigestion, bloating and had nausea really bad a couple of weeks ago.
Of course I googled all this and pancreatic cancer. I got a bit freaked out and learned everything about it.
I have needed to go to a gastro for a while so I finally went and have a endoscopy booked for monday and a sonogram for tuesday. I am of course pretty anxious about this but been trying to stay calm, stay out of google. Today I noticed the sides of my eyes are a bit yellow so I panicked. I am trying to stay calm. Hoping the endoscopy and sonogram go well but of course I am now thinking I need a CT scan since sonogram can't quite see the pancreas.
It is not the first time I think I have something wrong with me and I am going to try to see someone about HA.
That does sound very similar to me. I've had an ultrasound and they said the pancreas was fine but I know they can't always see it clearly. I'm back at my GP tomorrow but I know I wont be sent for a ct scan. I'm happy to pay for one but even privately I have to be referred for it.
I hope your appointment today is helpful, Chris. Do you really want to put yourself through the agonies of another procedure? Why not just get your amylase checked with a simple blood test? That's if the GP is prepared to offer you this.
Hi Pulisa,
I don't think I do want to put myself through another scan/ test to be honest, you're right. I'll ask about the amylase test - is that something they would do in a normal set of blood tests or a special one? I don't want to google anything... M GP appointment isn't until 5.20 tonight so that I didn't have to take even more time off work..
It's a specific test to look at the pancreas and assess if there is inflammation etc. Basically, it will determine if there is a reason to test further. Might be worth considering? Don't think it would be included in the routine blood tests that the GPs request.
Okay thanks again Pulisa, I'll ask for that as it's more likely that he'll agree to that than a CT scan - which I don't actually want unless it's needed.
My fiancé is coming with me again to make sure I don't come away with any 'but I forgot to ask this' or whatever. I've got a list to ask and then that's it - if he says I'm crazy then I listen to him. My therapist was not happy at me going back to GP and actually said she might write to them and ask for no more tests. I understand her reasons but I'm the only one feeling like this and I need to feel better! It's easier for other people to say symptoms are anxiety, it's much harder to recognise them yourself - especially when the pains were what drove me to the doctors in December before I was anxious at all!
I understand what you are saying, Chris. You recognise that you have HA yet you also have physical symptoms which can't be explained. I'm sure your GP will base any future tests around clinical need-you don't want a GP who will offer tests for reassurance even though there is no clinical need.
Your therapist is obviously on the ball with HA but you need to be convinced yourself that anxiety alone isn't causing these symptoms although of course it may be the driving force behind anxiety-induced digestive issues which need treating with standard meds.
Yeah you are right, I know I have HA but I also have some physical things going on that have yet to be explained properly. This fuels the HA beast which keeps the cycle going. I think most people with HA can admit to having it but also have that fear that something physical has been missed because of the anxiety - it's easy to blame things on anxiety.
I know reassurance seeking is wrong but hopefully I will be feeling better after telling all of this to the GP later on
Chris, Ask for a CA19-9 blood test.
Hi Matt,
Is that the marker test for pancreatic cancer? Is it reliable? I'm not googling anything at the moment so don't want to check...
Hi Matt,
Is that the marker test for pancreatic cancer? Is it reliable? I'm not googling anything at the moment so don't want to check...
Hi Chris, I wasn't sure wether to post about that blood test but yes it is. As for if it's accurate i'm not sure. Sorry.
It's okay it's just something else to mention to my GP - I'll take his advice on appropriate blood tests as I don't know much about them.
Thanks for the info
Had a good visit to the GP last night. Explained all my worries. He suggested an amylase test to help my anxiety over pancreatic cancer if that would help, I said it would so we are going for that. Obviously he also told me all the things about how rare it is and especially someone my age. I told him about my worry about the teeth/gum issues that I have been having and how that is listed as a risk factor and he hadn't heard of that before! We are also going to try some prescription meds for anxiety, previously I have been on meds to help me sleep but this new stuff will help during the day too so hopefully a short term thing until the CBT kicks in properly.
One step at a time...
Am pleased to hear that, Chris. The amylase blood test is a good indicator of how your pancreas is functioning. The meds combined with CBT should help you get the best out of your therapy-I'm sure your therapist will be all in favour of this.
That's what the doctor said. Also checking liver function as I mentioned itching recently. So he says that should be the pancreas all checked after that and after ultrasound. No chance of a CT scan he said, which I totally understand and actually don't want to waste NHS money if it isn't deemed needed.
Hopefully the therapist isn't too angry at my visit to the GP and blood tests!
I'm heading back to the dentist this week too as my gums are sore, this is a strange one as I specifically asked if I had gum disease on my last visit and she said no, but now I've got a horrible taste in my mouth and pain, with bleeding gums. this is the last thing I needed with all my worries!
Sounds like a very positive GP visit Chris, and also a good idea to take someone with you.
You seem to be fighting this from all angles which is a great approach.
Well done and fingers crossed things work out quickly for you.
You could just be over-brushing, Chris? See what the dentist says but if he/she's said that you don't have gum disease then they are the experts and there are specific tests for it which they carry out in an examination.
Maybe - that's what my fiancé says. I managed to get an appointment in the morning with another dentist so will see what they say. I can handle it if it is gum disease I just want to know! Although I guess that wont help with my bigger picture fears and worry about it causing Pancreatic cancer. But hey I'll sort one thing at a time. Got my blood test on Thursday morning for that.
---------- Post added at 13:17 ---------- Previous post was at 13:14 ----------
Sounds like a very positive GP visit Chris, and also a good idea to take someone with you.
You seem to be fighting this from all angles which is a great approach.
Well done and fingers crossed things work out quickly for you.
Thank you for your reply. I am trying my best to fight this, both the physical and mental issues. Even just working my way through the book I bought helps actually, something I never thought would.
This web site has also been a real help as have the people on it - so thank you!
Just an update - got my blood tests back and all are normal. Doctor did amylase and also liver function and kidneys. So I guess that's good news!
It is but are you convinced that all is OK?
I'm not convinced, but feeling a lot better about it. My GP thinks that's ruled out any worry about pancreas issues
But it hasn't, has it? Are you going to ask for further tests or address this fear with your therapist?
Not 100% for me, but I'm willing to go with the GP and unless he thinks I need any more tests then I wont ask for any. I will address this fear with my therapist
Hi Chris,
Ive been following your condition on darksides thread and now here, sneaky I know haha.
Have you considered being tested for an autoimmune condition? Autoimmune diseases can give you so many different symptoms.
I know for me, I used to have a fear of choking and Id get anxiety around that. Sometimes Id swallow too much air and then burp quite a bit. Im not sure about the other symptoms, but if your getting rashes having an ANA test would not be uncalled for.
I appreciate what you're saying jojo, but does Chris want any more tests?
I appreciate what you're saying jojo, but does Chris want any more tests?
Probably not no... Unless a GP or specialist decides I need one I am done with asking for tests. I'm dealing with my HA and have been much better the last week, once that is under control I can see if there are any symptoms left
Probably not no... Unless a GP or specialist decides I need one I am done with asking for tests. I'm dealing with my HA and have been much better the last week, once that is under control I can see if there are any symptoms left
Good for you, Chris. You're doing all the right things to manage your HA.
Thanks Pulisa, you've been a great help on here. I plan to hang around and try to help others like myself through similar situations
thats great news Chris, hopefully dealing with your HA will help things.
muzicdejay
30-03-18, 22:45
Hi Chris. You are not been stupid mate. I'm going through he same thing right now. My health Anxiety has been pretty good for a long time then this last few months bang, it's back! I've been Googling pancreatic, liver and bone cancer the last few days, I've been having rib ache and back ache so of course assumed it's some sinister disease. Had an Xray Tuesday so waiting on the results, Dreading everytime my phone has rung incase it's the doctor with xray results saying they need to see me. Have scenarios going through my head about how to tell the family and how I'll deal with it etc. So yes mate, I know exactly how awful you're feeling at the moment.
I've not had any help for my HA as like I said it's been under control, think I really need look into it though as I don't want to go down the same hole I did a few years ago.
Hope you get sorted mate.
Sorry to hear that you are going through this at the moment. It does sound like you should try and get some help for your anxiety? Jumping to Pancreatic cancer with your symptom is a long leap. Trust me I'm still struggling, been in my bed sick the last couple of days and had night sweats but still not thinking the worst about it.
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