HelenS70
14-03-18, 21:09
Hello all, I am back after many years of trying to cope without medication, wearing my mask full time but I am not going to see it as a failure being here and being back on medication. I am strong, I realise that I need help and that I shouldn't really come off medication, once a psychiatrist said to me that I will most probably be on medication my whole life and I was trying to prove him wrong even though I don't see him.
I haven't had an easy life but I suppose we are all in the same boat there and easy life is more likely an understatement for many of us. It isn't all in our heads, there are serious underlying problems that are affecting us and talking about them is very difficult. Well, after 40 years of keeping silent I recently opened Pandora's box and of course it has set me off big time, full blown panic attacks, black moods, deep depression with all the added symptoms. I am back on 40mg Fluoxetine and Diazepam. I will be seeing doctor tomorrow so it is likely that I go up to 60mg.
In a way I do feel better now I have opened Pandora's box but unfortunately it has implications... and now I am going to stay with my parents for 10 days, I just don't want to be on my own.
But now that it's is out in the open, other things seem to make me panic even more, I sometimes dread opening emails, answering calls even Skype messages from work can make my hr go through the roof. I work from home luckily so nobody can see me, been doing this job for 10 years now so for my own peace of mind I think it is best if I take my Mac to my parents and work there.
I have been on the phone with the Samaritans, it helps a little but having people around me that love me will be better! I will try and follow conversations on here or enter chat room from time to time.
I hope that one day there will be a drug that will suit us all.
P.S I have been in therapy, psychiatric unit, CBT, counselling etc. I do love life just find it very unfair.
I haven't had an easy life but I suppose we are all in the same boat there and easy life is more likely an understatement for many of us. It isn't all in our heads, there are serious underlying problems that are affecting us and talking about them is very difficult. Well, after 40 years of keeping silent I recently opened Pandora's box and of course it has set me off big time, full blown panic attacks, black moods, deep depression with all the added symptoms. I am back on 40mg Fluoxetine and Diazepam. I will be seeing doctor tomorrow so it is likely that I go up to 60mg.
In a way I do feel better now I have opened Pandora's box but unfortunately it has implications... and now I am going to stay with my parents for 10 days, I just don't want to be on my own.
But now that it's is out in the open, other things seem to make me panic even more, I sometimes dread opening emails, answering calls even Skype messages from work can make my hr go through the roof. I work from home luckily so nobody can see me, been doing this job for 10 years now so for my own peace of mind I think it is best if I take my Mac to my parents and work there.
I have been on the phone with the Samaritans, it helps a little but having people around me that love me will be better! I will try and follow conversations on here or enter chat room from time to time.
I hope that one day there will be a drug that will suit us all.
P.S I have been in therapy, psychiatric unit, CBT, counselling etc. I do love life just find it very unfair.