Danijel
15-03-18, 17:08
Hello to everybody,
I am relatively new to this I have been living with anxiety sinds I was a teenager. I have had terrible depression because of my anxiety and periods I was not able to leave my house bacause I was terrified of what could happen. After the death of my mother (she was ellectrecuted in the bath when accidentally the hairdresser fell in the water) I decided to go one year in a psychiatric hospital. I am 28 years old now and somehow I managed to finish law school and finding a stable good paying job.
Looking from outside I should be happy and dont complain. I have a job, I am earning enough, I have friends. I am fulfilling the expectations that society imposes on me.
I came to realize that this expectations are making my life almoust unbearable. I am full of fear and terribly anxious. I can't sit quitely, I get almoust a hart attack when the phone is ringing. I can't fall asleep. At work I I get exhausted from all the inputs and the work. Especially presenting things, making conference calls causes paniek attacks that somehow I succeed to hide.
I am literally tired and afraid and angry at myself because I am not succeeding in enjoying my life.
Sometimes I would just want to do have a part time "easy job". But I am afraid it would not change anything but just making things worse.
Had anybody had a period like this and would be so kind to give me his or her advice or point of view.
I am going to a psychologist and take meds for my anxiety but still it is sometimes a living hell.
I am relatively new to this I have been living with anxiety sinds I was a teenager. I have had terrible depression because of my anxiety and periods I was not able to leave my house bacause I was terrified of what could happen. After the death of my mother (she was ellectrecuted in the bath when accidentally the hairdresser fell in the water) I decided to go one year in a psychiatric hospital. I am 28 years old now and somehow I managed to finish law school and finding a stable good paying job.
Looking from outside I should be happy and dont complain. I have a job, I am earning enough, I have friends. I am fulfilling the expectations that society imposes on me.
I came to realize that this expectations are making my life almoust unbearable. I am full of fear and terribly anxious. I can't sit quitely, I get almoust a hart attack when the phone is ringing. I can't fall asleep. At work I I get exhausted from all the inputs and the work. Especially presenting things, making conference calls causes paniek attacks that somehow I succeed to hide.
I am literally tired and afraid and angry at myself because I am not succeeding in enjoying my life.
Sometimes I would just want to do have a part time "easy job". But I am afraid it would not change anything but just making things worse.
Had anybody had a period like this and would be so kind to give me his or her advice or point of view.
I am going to a psychologist and take meds for my anxiety but still it is sometimes a living hell.