fear of intruders

[pstars]

Why am I still awake at 4.30am? Because I'm really, really irrationally scared that someone is going to come into my flat and murder me while I sleep. This has been getting worse over time now. I'm so tired, exhausted, but the second I turn off the light I can't sleep because I'm so afraid and every tiny noise sets me off. It's so bad I've taken to sleeping with a knife under my bed (I know how crazy that sounds). In the end I end up sleeping through most of the morning when it's daylight because I'm not scared then, which is starting to have a negative effect on my committments and my life.

I also know that statistically the chance of this happening is really low. I also know probably where this fear has come from (an incident happening to a friend of my father's last year in a foreign, crime-ridden country, or perhaps that this happened to some kids in the town I lived in when I was a child). I can rationalise it fine when the lights are on/it's the daytime, but at night/in the darkness I am totally paralysed.

Can anyone please help me? I'd really like to get some sleep :(

[neptuno]

Hello !
There's loads of practical things you can do to alleviate this fear. Its not crazy - but the fear of it IS. I would get the police round to do a security check on the flat (they do this for free where I live) - then implement all the suggestions they make. Once you have this peace of mind you will find you can relax a little more each day. If these feelings still overwhelm you then speak to your GP, there's lots of help out there.
be kind to yourself

[nomorepanic]

Hi there

Try and write your feellings down and then go through them one by one.

For example...


1) Someone is going to kill me - why would they want to? Burglars just want property not to murder someone. No-one would break into your house simply to murder you.

2) I hear noises all night - yes and they are the neighbours, the wind, the rain, the local cats etc. You are more sensitive to things at night cos it is quieter and you are laying in bed thinking about it.

Do you get the idea?

It may help cos when you write it down and rationalise it you can see how your thoughts are taking over and none of this will ever actually happen.

[Mercerism]

I recently gave myself a severe case of intruder anxiety, for a short time. I found a way to overcome it. I'll follow the trend of this forum and keep my message concise, sparing you the details of how and why I became paranoid.

MY ADVICE: This consists of two simple steps:
1. This step is kind of in two parts. When you enter your home and lock the door behind yourself, a) check any hiding places in your home for intruders. Be thorough, don't kid yourself. Be brave, remember rationally that there won't be anyone there. b) Now that you know your home is clear, go around and lock all the doors and windows. They should already be locked, but you need to check, just to persuade your irrational mind that they are, as with part a.
2. Go back to the entrance point of your home, namely, the main door, which is now closed and locked securely. Turn your back to the door. Count to ten. Once again, you're showing your irrational mind, through calm and measured behaviour, that it is wrong in its fears.

And that's it. I practiced these steps for a week and gradually I got better.

The next day, when I practiced step 2 I counted to twenty. Ater a few days, when I was feeling much better, but there was still some lingering anxiety, I laid face down on the floor, with the door behind me, and counted to twenty. It's a matter of controlling one's circumstances, then making one's self vulnerable, to physically and mentally prove to the paranoid part of one's brain that it's wrong. You gave the intruder the best advantage to get the better of you and noone showed up.

Hope this helps someone in some small way. Thanks for reading.

[Peaceful123]

i can't really know for sure what you are talking about since i don't have such kind of fears, but i know a person who pretty much had the same fear. i knew her in person. she got some help by talking with doctors. it was a pretty long "healing"... have you ever talked with a psychiatrist about this?

[GingerFish]

I have this fear too and even got the point I was scared someone would break into my flat while I was out and either kill my cats or poison my food, drinks etc so I would get harmed as soon as I ate, drank or even touched anything. I knew what I was thinking was crazy and I always checked my doors and windows were locked before leaving so there was no way anyone could get in but I still worried like mad. This was my OCD thinking and it still flares up with this particular fear a lot. At its worst, I set up a webcam in my livingroom so I could check up on my cats and make sure no one else was in the house.