Beth28
16-03-18, 07:38
I am not a regular here.
But I get a lot of support from people here on this forum. Thank you.
Recently, I have had symptoms of a particular illness and unfortunately all tendencies like age, physical presentation (undeniable) point in the direction of this illness or disease.
I spent weeks out of fear not going to the doctor. Finally went to the doctor and a symptom was agreed GP. I felt a bit relieved. I thought why would I feel relieved if someone has said yes you have this? Sounds self punishing. Why can't we feel good about being healthy. Anyway I digress.
I told a friend about the possible diagnosis. I haven't had a full confirmed diagnosis. She asked what cause of treatment will I go for conventional or natural. I told her again, I haven't had the scan so I can't say, I won't say and I will not claim what isn't mine. She asked me again just in case the worst is to happen I should be prepared. I know this was done out of love and concern. But this heightened my anxiety. My partner was annoyed with me for telling my friend. Nothing has been confirmed and I put that crap out. I wanted to tell my "daughter" she is the smile in my heart but I remembered my convo with my friend. The worry it causes to your friends, family and yourself, helping the HA to grow from a seed to a tree. I have learnt two things so far - don't punish yourself, being ill will not give us the love we need, the confidence we need, the peace we need. Our HA can come from a trauma and it spirals from there. Also, keep your mouth shut until you know. Hear it from a professionals mouth. Don't feed the HA monster.
We have this space, on this forum to voice our concerns, give support and give hugs.
But I get a lot of support from people here on this forum. Thank you.
Recently, I have had symptoms of a particular illness and unfortunately all tendencies like age, physical presentation (undeniable) point in the direction of this illness or disease.
I spent weeks out of fear not going to the doctor. Finally went to the doctor and a symptom was agreed GP. I felt a bit relieved. I thought why would I feel relieved if someone has said yes you have this? Sounds self punishing. Why can't we feel good about being healthy. Anyway I digress.
I told a friend about the possible diagnosis. I haven't had a full confirmed diagnosis. She asked what cause of treatment will I go for conventional or natural. I told her again, I haven't had the scan so I can't say, I won't say and I will not claim what isn't mine. She asked me again just in case the worst is to happen I should be prepared. I know this was done out of love and concern. But this heightened my anxiety. My partner was annoyed with me for telling my friend. Nothing has been confirmed and I put that crap out. I wanted to tell my "daughter" she is the smile in my heart but I remembered my convo with my friend. The worry it causes to your friends, family and yourself, helping the HA to grow from a seed to a tree. I have learnt two things so far - don't punish yourself, being ill will not give us the love we need, the confidence we need, the peace we need. Our HA can come from a trauma and it spirals from there. Also, keep your mouth shut until you know. Hear it from a professionals mouth. Don't feed the HA monster.
We have this space, on this forum to voice our concerns, give support and give hugs.