Tried anal and now worried about HIV

[Worriedabouthiv]

I’ve always been straight, but after a recent dry spell, I wanted to try gay sex. So I went on Grindr and hooked up with an Indian businessman at a hotel. He said he was HIV negative and clean, but I have no way of knowing that.

I was on the receiving end, and we used a condom, and he didn’t come till after he pulled out. But before he put on a condom, he did rub his penis against my anus. We also did 69.

That was about 8 days ago.

For the past few days, I’ve had symptoms I worry coud be acute HIV. I’ve had a headache, sore throat, fatigue, feel achy. My penis and anus are both itchy and uncomfortable.

I already got an STD test (for non-HIV STDs), but am waiting on the results. And I plan to get an HIV RNA test in a couple days, and another test at a local clinic in about a week.

Just want to get your thoughts on how worried I should be? What are my odds?

Right now, I spend most of my waking hours thinking about this, searching the Internet, reading forums, etc., and I’m having trouble focusing on much of anything else. Any advice on this front, on how to take my mind off this?

[WiseMonkey]

I’ve always been straight, but after a recent dry spell, I wanted to try gay sex. So I went on Grindr and hooked up with an Indian businessman at a hotel. He said he was HIV negative and clean, but I have no way of knowing that.

I was on the receiving end, and we used a condom, and he didn’t come till after he pulled out. But before he put on a condom, he did rub his penis against my anus. We also did 69.

That was about 8 days ago.

For the past few days, I’ve had symptoms I worry coud be acute HIV. I’ve had a headache, sore throat, fatigue, feel achy. My penis and anus are both itchy and uncomfortable.

I already got an STD test (for non-HIV STDs), but am waiting on the results. And I plan to get an HIV RNA test in a couple days, and another test at a local clinic in about a week.

Just want to get your thoughts on how worried I should be? What are my odds?

Right now, I spend most of my waking hours thinking about this, searching the Internet, reading forums, etc., and I’m having trouble focusing on much of anything else. Any advice on this front, on how to take my mind off this?

If this isn't a piss-take thread, you need to take you concerns to an AIDS clinic, get tested and get some tips on casual sex as these are the risks you take.

[Worriedabouthiv]

If this isn't a piss-take thread, you need to take you concerns to an AIDS clinic, get tested and get some tips on casual sex as these are the risks you take.

This wasn’t a piss-take thread...

[MyNameIsTerry]

Do you have a history of anxiety? If not, it would be better to consider a forum for sexual contact issues.

As far as transferral of STI's, there is nothing anyone on here can tell you that won't be listed on health sites by our governments about HIV/AIDS transmission. All we can do is repeat that but if you have anxiety, that's something we can help with.

[Worriedabouthiv]

Do you have a history of anxiety?

Yes. I’ve always been paranoid about worst-case scenarios and used to be a pretty bad germaphobe, so the possibility of HIV has me pretty wound up. Any advice would be appreciated.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm glad you clarified this because I've seen HIV/AIDS threads that are graphic and they tend to post & go. There is never a mention of anxiety and I wonder whether these are people experiencing anxiety purely because of the risk they took and that can be quite normal as opposed to what we experience.

There's only ever one way to be sure and that's going to be a test. But you can look towards irrational levels of anxiety & negative thinking in order to try to reduce how bad you feel right now.

If you have read about transmission risks then you know what your risk levels are. Therefore you can now look towards coping techniques to reduce daily anxiety e.g. relaxation work, distraction, etc and also use the information you have found from official sources to reframe a conclusion e.g. my thoughts are irrational in terms of risk x, y or z and I am having a test to confirm against them but I conclude my risk level is x, y or z and my likely outcome is...".

Anxiety will still try to fight against you and introduce more bizarre scenarios to worry about. This is where you accept the strategy you are taking, you accept that what is done is done and that how you feel is your anxiety. It is ok to be anxious, try not to fight it back with "aaarrggghhhh, anxiety" as it lives off this type of reaction. When your thoughts are obsessively examining it all, get up and do something that aims to shift your focus. Try to accept thoughts as just thoughts and not as having meaning or some insight into your situation (when they are intrusive) and that you can make your own decisions on which thoughts are useful and which are not.

The trouble with dealing with thoughts is that it can take time. This type of work is long term stuff and should be aimed more at recovery overall and prevention of future relapses when you come up against things like you have here. So, you might find it hard to do or get little from them and it you might feel more relief from the coping technique side.

When examining thoughts, beware of negative thinking styles. Cognitive Distortions, well worth a read. This will keep your mind spinning and only make you feel worse.