Here i go again, am i losing my mind this time?

[angiebaby]

Hello again and just need some reassurance if possible.
I have been signed off work for 4 weeks by gp with PTSD. And even just going in the car with my hubby while he dropped off my sick note was like i've never been in the place before. Couldn't imagine that i have ever worked there, like i couldn't remember being there sort off. I do suffer with unreality, DP, DR etc, etc, but i knew who i was and where i was, just that i 'couldn't believe' that i worked there and have been in there doing a job. And not believing that i do what i do, walk up that corridor, see my patients, etc, etc. When this happens i feel like i am really going insane and losing my mind and it really frightens me and then the panic starts. Well i managed not to have a panic attack but the feelings were not nice at all and it freaked me out, always does, but it just seemed worse with me being off work now and not being there for the past three days now. Can anyone relate to this horrible experience please? Struggling a lot with this and not believing i am ME at all. And when it is coupled with the unreality, it is sooooooo bad!!

[nomorepanic]

Angie

No you aren't losing your mind - it is just stress and anxiety.

It will pass as you heal.

Distraction will help so maybe getting back to work will bring it all back to you again and you will soon feel familiar again.

You have to keep working at it and telling yourself you are ok - I am struggling at the moment too and work is a nightmare but I have to keep the routine going or I will never go back!

[angiebaby]

Thanks, i will have these four weeks and get some housework done, a little at a time. Then i will probably go back and try and just keep going. I speak to my therapist on monday to sort out some real appointments to start work with me then i will have to go from there. It is just nice to know that other's know what this horror feels like and what i'm going through. And to know that you really aren't going to go insane at all, even though it really feels like it.
Thanks again, much appreciated.x

[Magpie]

Hi Angie, sounds like that was a pretty unpleasant experience! Totally understandable to feel that way though, you have an anxiety disorder so feelings like that will come (and also go, thankfully).

This is just my opinion, but I think it might help you to sit down and think about your perception of insanity, 'losing your mind' etc. So often, folk on here seem to have major stress on top of the symptoms they've already got because of these fears about going mad.

The thing to remember is, sanity is largely a matter of opinion. People with no mental health issues probably think the lot of us on this forum are totally round-the-bend. Then you've got people on here who have problems with psychosis, who might have been hospitalised at one time or another as a result - I guess you might say that they 'lost their minds', but they're still here to tell the tale and just got through that bad time as best they could. That's all any of us can ever do; take it one step at a time, one day at a time, one minute at a time.

I quite often have thoughts when I'm really bad that I might not be able to cope anymore, but I find it really helpful to look at it objectively - if I can't cope anymore, the doctor will increase my meds, maybe I'll have to have some inpatient care at some point, but it's just like any other illness and whatever happens, the priority is to get me well again. I refuse to let the possibilities frighten me now, and I don't get into such a state as a result.

Anyway, I'm just waffling now. Hope you start to feel better soon. Remember, one step at a time!

Carol.

[Pink Princess]

angie xxxxxx

been thinking about you, sorry to hear you are not coping well, let me know if you need to talk xxxx

you are definatly not losing your mind ok!! and you will get there maybe just try taking things very slow and always tell yourself how well you are doing instead of saying the negative.

you are doing fine and you will get to the end of your tunnel ok dont give up xx

love minnie xxxxxxxxxxxx

[angiebaby]

Thankyou for your replies, it is just so difficult to cope with isn't it? But at least i know i'm not alone in this particular symptom, thanks all.xx

[miss motown]

hi angie ive been down that road so many times and i agree it totally freaks you out they say its depersonalization due to alot of stress and anxiety i did once say to my doctor that i was loosing my mind but she told me if i was loosing my mind i wouldnt no about it.i also had that same feeling when i was off work for awhile that i couldnt belive id once worked there i also couldnt belive that id got into my car and drove i didnt no who i was and wot i was at one point the fear was so intence i was never off the toilet i was so freaked out by these thoughts i just wanted my doctor to put me asleep so i didnt have to live with this fear i told her that wot i was experiencing wasnt living it was an excistence and i didnt like it one bit i just wanted to run way from it wot ever it was and the pain on top of my head was there from the moment i woke till the moment i fell asleep but angie it will pass it takes time but it will go just as quick as it came just try and distract yourself i no its hard but it will pass in time honest take care hun you,ll soon be back to work and walking down that corridor againe with all these unwanted thoughts behind you x

[angiebaby]

Thankyou for your kind words. I am glad that i am not alone and that other people know how bad and severe this is. But i do sympathise with everyone who has this horrible thing, it does drive you bonkers. Thanks again, perhaps in a year i will look back and laugh at this, but i seriously doubt it!! xx

[PITITA]

Yes I can relate to this experience. I find it extremely frightening myself, those are the times when I take benzos just to put me to sleep because I can't bear them either. Unfortunately I haven't found a way out of this yet. You are not alone, and it is comforting to know that I'm not alone either :)

[looking4answers]

Sure can ..years ago.. had a job loved my job.. and everything about it..only thing was working two jobs this one late at night and one in really hot weather..Well started having blackout spells and panic attacks at my job that i loved so much.I was in my 20's and well.. was in the hospital for about a month every test known to man and then some..

Turned out .dehydratiion shutting down all my major organs..going back to work felt the samething you do.. it was horrible scary because it all began there. A real illness caused panic and anxiety .I had to leave and it was all like what you are describing so yes been there done that .. and well im still here and it passed but it comes back..always will you are the survivor and will be.. just keep telling yourself its just a feeling and it will go away and it will sweetie..dont worry .Michael



Hello again and just need some reassurance if possible.
I have been signed off work for 4 weeks by gp with PTSD. And even just going in the car with my hubby while he dropped off my sick note was like i've never been in the place before. Couldn't imagine that i have ever worked there, like i couldn't remember being there sort off. I do suffer with unreality, DP, DR etc, etc, but i knew who i was and where i was, just that i 'couldn't believe' that i worked there and have been in there doing a job. And not believing that i do what i do, walk up that corridor, see my patients, etc, etc. When this happens i feel like i am really going insane and losing my mind and it really frightens me and then the panic starts. Well i managed not to have a panic attack but the feelings were not nice at all and it freaked me out, always does, but it just seemed worse with me being off work now and not being there for the past three days now. Can anyone relate to this horrible experience please? Struggling a lot with this and not believing i am ME at all. And when it is coupled with the unreality, it is sooooooo bad!!

[angiebaby]

Thankyou for your replies, i am off work at the moment for a few weeks, see the gp on Tuesday, hopefully for another sick note. I will have had 5 weeks off work by then and she may give me another 4 weeks off. I know that i will have to go back and my hubby says that i used to love my job so much, but don't really remember that much, lol. It will be hard to go back i know that and i know that the unreality will come back ten fold!! But hopefully i will be at least a bit better by then and will be able to cope better by then.xx