Anxiety with travels / parents living for vacation

[MandyBlack]

Hello everyone. Since the first time that i had my first big panic attack in 2009, i am a mess. Now i am 30 years old and all my young years are gone with anxiety, pills and doctors. I can't travel more than 1 hour away from home and when my dad goes to america twice a year (we live in greece) for a month, it's the worst feeling ever. My anxiety for 30 days is super high everytime, I have suicidal thoughts because i can't handle it anymore, it's too much.. I work so hard to distract myself these days but it's unbearable anymore.. I don't know what to do, I can't live like this anymore..Any thoughts?suggestions?...

[ana]

Aw Mandy, I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling so much. :( I had my first panic attack in 2001, if it makes you feel any better, and am 30 years old now. It's horrible, to lose a big chunk of your life to this disorder. I can't travel at all. I can manage going to work and back (10 mins by car) and maybe going a little further when I'm sedated. It's terrible, how restricted my life has become. I see a therapist, I take medication, and yet progress comes very slowly and good times are few and far in between.

One thing I will tell you, though, is that you need to deal with your suicidal thoughts. It's of vital importance that you tell someone about these thoughts.
It sounds as if you're suffering from separation anxiety. Guess what - so do I? ;P I don't know if it helps for you to hear that my suffering is similar to yours, but please know that you're not alone. If I can hold down a job, a relationship and friendships, then it means it's possible to live your life despite this affliction. You just need to stop caring and thinking about anxiety, let the panic attacks just happen, and carry on with your life, reclaim it. :)

[MandyBlack]

Thank you so much... I m so scared of letting panic attacks happen so i surpress it every time... Especially when it comes to separation from my parents..

---------- Post added at 18:54 ---------- Previous post was at 18:52 ----------

I m sorry that happened to you too... The suicidal thoughts are because i dont have a quality life.. Noone would like to live like that..

[ana]

I'm so scared of panic attacks too. Think about it, though. If panic attacks were so dangerous, this site wouldn't exist as many of us would have died by now. :)

I don't feel like I live my life the way I'm supposed to, but the solution to that is actually doing something to improve the quality of life, not stop living. You can do this. :hugs:

[MandyBlack]

Thank you so much.... I ll try..