Convinced I have melanoma

[kroppb]

I have been suffering from lymph node related HA for several months now but gradually it's getting better. I haven't been to a doctor about such symptoms for a while and I have stopped poking around myself.

Now things went downhill. I had a Dr's appointment yesterday and a GP surgeon removed two benign miles from my back. While laying on the operation table, I was thinking about all kinds of things, including a few moles on my legs. I was about to ask the doctor about them when he was finished. But right when he sewed the wounds, he told a nurse to finish everything up and rushed out of the room because there was an emergency appointment he had to take care of. No moles checked for me.

Well when I arrived home, I for some reason started to Google pics of melanoma even though I have told myself to avoid Googling. I did what I did and now. I am convinced that the mole that wasn't checked is malignant. It does not seem like a really aggressive and discussing mole but if you don't compare it to pictures but just to written characteristics, it does indeed seem like one. It had two shades of brown, irregular borders and one spot is darker than the other. It hasn't changed (lately) though. The issue is that I have had it for as long as I can remember but I haven't paid attention to it. (I'm 20) I remember stumbling upon it when I was a kid but no idea what it seemed like back then. No doctor back then paid attention to any of my moles.

On top of that, there are some smaller black spots, potentially moles too, quite close to it. I have not seen them before that I can remember of. I am convinced they are melanoma satellites, which I read about on the net.

Am I being totally irrational. Should I appoint a new appointment soon to have them checked or should I wait until there is something more routine to discuss withstand doc and bring them up then?

[Fishmanpa]

Am I being totally irrational.

Well you are posting on an anxiety forum :winks:

Positive thoughts

[kroppb]

Well you are posting on an anxiety forum :winks:

Positive thoughts

I don't know how to stop this. I used a mobile app that does a mole assessment based on a photo by putting it through an artificial intelligence algorithm and it said "low risk" but then I scanned the mole again at it assessed it as "medium risk".

[Limeslime]

I feel your pain. I have huge mole anxiety!!! Try to nip it in the bud in it’s early stages and don’t let the mole anxiety grow! Stop googling and see your GP! I’m sure he will reassure you that everything is fine!

[kroppb]

I feel your pain. I have huge mole anxiety!!! Try to nip it in the bud in it’s early stages and don’t let the mole anxiety grow! Stop googling and see your GP! I’m sure he will reassure you that everything is fine!

I just don't feel like meeting any health care providers for a while. I have seen a Dr so many time over the course of a year. And when it comes to reassurance, the power of it might fade away and new symptoms come up...:ohmy:

[Limeslime]

I totally understand that. I guess the only good thing about moles/melanoma-fear is that we have a visual aid and can monitor them. Just watch them for a month or two to see if they change. They probably won’t!!

---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:58 ----------

But if they’re bigger than 6mm, don’t wait!

[kroppb]

I totally understand that. I guess the only good thing about moles/melanoma-fear is that we have a visual aid and can monitor them. Just watch them for a month or two to see if they change. They probably won’t!!

Thanks for reply. It helps a lot talking about this with someone.

I might give it a month, then make an appointment for a normal skin check. Most likely the wait for an appointment is a month, so it total two basically. People say melanoma is aggressive but not as some C's are.

I was told that like 10% of white people have irregular moles that are not malign. Most of them (or us) just don't pay attention to them. Hope this is correct.

The one that caused my worry is around 4mm X 3 mm. The small close to it is like 1 mm. The Dr removed a 7 mm mile from my back yesterday as I mentioned in my first post. It was benign but I'm waiting for the pathologist's opinion

[Limeslime]

If it’s only 4mm you can afford to wait a month! I’ve recently been referred to the melanoma clinic, and if the dermatologists want to “watch and wait” they tell you to come back in THREE months! Personally, I got told to come back in four weeks �� but the wait is really making my anxiety worse! Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that you will definitely be ok to wait a month!

---------- Post added at 20:16 ---------- Previous post was at 20:12 ----------

And I know your fear over the benign mole too. I had a 10mm one removed three weeks ago and I’m still panicking whenever the phone rings! It hadn’t changed in size for at least five years cos the GP had records, and I was always told it was benign but the HA in me is still expecting to hear otherwise!

[kroppb]

If it’s only 4mm you can afford to wait a month! I’ve recently been referred to the melanoma clinic, and if the dermatologists want to “watch and wait” they tell you to come back in THREE months! Personally, I got told to come back in four weeks �� but the wait is really making my anxiety worse! Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that you will definitely be ok to wait a month!

You are being monitored by a professional. You shouldn't worry about it at this moment. No matter what, the doctor will see you later and you will together find out everything is fine.

I'll wait a while then. It really assures me that the local hospital was built just a few years ago, they have the latest equipment and event the staff seems really refreshed to work there. It might have some impact o things.

Anyhow, I am sure the mole I have is just an atypical mole but not yet malign but has the small potential to eventually develop. I will ask my GP about it whenever I can...

Waiting is the worst as you said, but focusing on other things helps.

May I also ask you, have you been to regular skin checks?

[Limeslime]

Not really. I don’t have private health care and my GP practice doesn’t offer them. I just check my own...which isn’t easy anymore now that I’m OCD with them. I paid £700 to have one removed privately for cosmetic reasons. I’ve had two removed at GP to calm my anxiety and I’ve removed four myself....which is why I’m now involved with the melanoma clinic because one grew back irregular shaped. I really need to sort myself out!

[kroppb]

I took a reference picture of the mole now and I decided to forget about it for a while and after a while make an appointment. Maybe when I visit the hospital to have my stitches removed...

I uploaded the picture of the mole, comparing it to my index finger. Posted it on an external website so it's not visible here by default. https://i.imgur.com/oET4Q0h.jpg

---------- Post added at 19:33 ---------- Previous post was at 19:31 ----------


Not really. I don’t have private health care and my GP practice doesn’t offer them. I just check my own...which isn’t easy anymore now that I’m OCD with them. I paid £700 to have one removed privately for cosmetic reasons. I’ve had two removed at GP to calm my anxiety and I’ve removed four myself....which is why I’m now involved with the melanoma clinic because one grew back irregular shaped. I really need to sort myself out!

You are at good hands. Remember trauma does not cause nasties to moles. Good thoughts.

[Limeslime]

I think that is two separate moles. The top one is fine, which makes the bottom one tiny. It does have an irregular shape but doesn’t tick any other of the ‘worry’ boxes. I think your doing the right thing...measure it, photograph it and check it monthly. And if you start getting obsessed with it, just seek reassurance from GP!

---------- Post added at 20:40 ---------- Previous post was at 20:36 ----------

I don’t think I’d be worried about that mole tbh. And that’s saying something cos I freak out over anything mole related! ��

[kroppb]

I don’t think I’d be worried about that mole tbh. And that’s saying something cos I freak out over anything mole related! ��

Might ask a nurse about checking abnormal moles when my stitches are removed next week. A mole check is totally free, so why not have them all checked out by a doctor. :)

[kroppb]

Bump. Became anxious again; I just glimpsed myself in a mirror and notices a new mole on my neck. Might have been there but I thought I would have noticed it before.

I also noticed a lymph node is swollen on my neck. It had caused me anxiety in the past and now it's back! Cannot think of anything else than melanoma that has spread to my nodes, which are gradually getting bigger. I checked my nodes under my jaw and they are around 2cm at the moment. :ohmy:

I am trying to tell myself that this all is so irrational... Before it was lymphoma, then some lung-related, then came the abdominal pain and breast issues. Is the GP the right person to see initially when I really want to seek help to this problem? I kind of want to have my moles checked though, HA not interfering that check because my skin has never been examined thoroughly...

[Fishmanpa]

You cannot accurately measure your own nodes. It's even challenging for medical professionals but they're much better at it. If it were truly that large (as mine were) they would be clearly visible to the naked eye. You wouldn't have to poke and prod to feel them.

What are you doing to treat your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

[kroppb]

You cannot accurately measure your own nodes. It's even challenging for medical professionals but they're much better at it. If it were truly that large (as mine were) they would be clearly visible to the naked eye. You wouldn't have to poke and prod to feel them.

What are you doing to treat your anxiety?

Positive thoughts

Thanks for your reply. At the moment, I haven't really thought of treating my anxiety. I am moving to a larger city soon and thinking about developing a really bad disease dominates everything from moving. It should be fun and interesting but for some reason things are just going downhill.

There is nothing, which I can account my HA for. I applied for Uni, got in, found an apartment and have a really nice work place for the time being. Despite all this, I am really anxious. My HA tells me that soon this all will be lost and I will suffer from an illness - be it lymphoma, melanoma or male breast cancer. Those are my biggest fears. Funny though, they all are really rare! Given my age - especially...

[Blonde123]

Sorry to hijack your post. I had a huge anxiety about 7 years ago about moles. This was one of my first anxieties. I went to the gp several times and had a full body check and nothing was flagged up. I’m blonde fair skin and blue eyes. I haven’t sunbathed in 15 years but I did use a subbed when I was in my teens and this feeds my anxiety. Anyway once I’d calmed down from this anxiety I moved onto others, until today. I’m due to get on a flight in several hours and I’ve just done the usual lady shaves etc and noticed an irregular freckle type mole on my pubic area. I’ve absolutely freaked myself out and have a massive adrenaline rush. I had a self tan yesterday and I know that tan really sticks to moles freckles etc and because of where it is I’m not sure how long it’s been there or if the tan has made it look darker than it is. I’m covered in moles and funny freckles so I’m not sure �� f this is one of them that I’ve never noticed before because of where it is. I can’t believe this, I was doing so well. Any advice or help please?