Finally ready to admit I'm scared

[thejohnny]

Hello to who ever is reading this, I have been coming on this site for a long time now and have finally plucked up the courage to type.
I hope some of you will kindly read my story and any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
My name is Johnny I'm 40 years old and I am generally very happy with life. I am happily married ,i have a good circle of friends and I have a decent life with few stresses or worries...... except ongoing daily panic attacks.
I don't know what to do, my friends would call me a man's man a big burley bloke who doesnt scare easily,wrong I live in constant fear of the next panic attack.
I'm to ashamed and embarrassed to ask any one for help or to talk to anyone , I have suffered from panic attacks for years usually 4-5 per day and I can't carry on. It's beginning to take its toll and the fact I try to keep it secret I know doesn't help.
I don't know what triggers my panic attacks as I said at the start I really am happy with my lot and don't have any major stress issues ,I did have a traumatic childhood and spent a lot of time in care but I learnt to let that go a long time ago and I don't live in the past.
Thanks for reading Johnny.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya thejohnny and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Tyke]

Hi Thejohnny
Our past does shape us and though you want to move on from a traumatic past, it isn't always that easy. There may be an understandable rush to say that you have 'sorted' the past and that would be what most people without a traumatic background would want, but is it true? It's not to say that you need serious medical intervention, but given your previous trauma, aren't you entitled to a little bit more empathy? You had a crap beginning - they (guessing) probably didn't. I'm not suggesting that you bang on and on about it, but just an acknowledgement of the difference may help. You are entitled to your own feelings and don't have to hide these. This comes from your own personal life experience and nobody said your upbringing was perfect.