I'm going downhill, can somebody please help? [Archive]

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Frosty97

29-03-18, 16:53

Hi guys. I've suffered from Anxiety disorder for 6 years now and have had it under relative control for most of this time.

Recently, the past week I've not been myself at all. I haven't gone into work, I'm waking up with my heart racing,nausea, thoughts of existence and odd thoughts which won't pass. I'm finding it extremely hard to focus on the now and I've been walking around like a depressed zombie, completely detached from myself.

I've lost almost all interest in my car, going out with friends, waking up, going to work etc and I'm back to overanalysing every single situation I'm in and I think I am actually experiencing depression. I haven't had suicidal thoughts but I'm having a EXTREMELY hard time being positive and grounding myself.

I haven't really been having typical panic attacks just racing thoughts which won't stop. My doctor upped me to 40mg citalopram. I've been on 20mg for 2 years and I'm scared to take the higher dose incase it sends me insane. I'm constantly worried about going psychotic, bipolar, schizophrenic and things of that nature. I'm trying my hardest to distract my mind doing things that I enjoyed but I can't find any enjoyment in these things now. I don't know what has brought it on either, I've just suddenly not felt like myself and am scared about everything.

What shall I do? I'm genuinely scared that I will be this way forever, feeling like I'm not in control of myself, not in control of things. I'm scared more than ever as I genuinely believe I am depressed now and really am not myself now.

NourK

29-03-18, 17:57

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I have had anxiety for over 20 years and it has recently returned quite badly as I have a fear of choking and it causes a lot of anxiety and makes me feel like I have no energy and lose interests in things

After you have been on medication for 2 years, it is normal for it to stop working as well so that is probably why your doctor upped it to 40mg. You will not be like this forever and will start to feel better soon, you just need to believe the medication is working each day and convince yourself you are starting to feel better each day

I think CBT might be helpful for you as they teach you different tools in thinking. I am doing this now and it is certainly helping

I hope you feel better very soon

Scass

29-03-18, 18:11

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I don’t take medication, but I’m sure that your gp knows what they are talking about. Why don’t you try them & just take one day at a time to see the difference.

As the previous poster said, CBT could work really well with medication. I find one of the hardest things about anxiety, is that in some ways - it’s what we make it. There’s no harm in taking a few days to wallow in it, but after a while you need to start taking some little, gentle steps to help yourself if you can. Start small - get dressed, eat a meal, have a shower, phone a friend. Then maybe start doing some progressive muscle relaxation exercises. Leave the house, refer yourself for cbt, go visit someone etc etc etc. You’ll get there and you’ll be amazed at yourself, and you’ll be amazing too!

Let us know how you get on x

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ethansmom

29-03-18, 18:34

I too am going downhill. I wake up with a racing heart, panic attacks, anxiety, and out of control thoughts. I've been crying a lot lately. I recently have been on the med merry go round and the current one im on isn't helping. My doctor suggested an antipsychotic next. I'm so scared of those, but willing to try anything that will help!

MandyBlack

29-03-18, 20:41

I am so sorry you are going through something like that.. Your doctor smartly uped your medication. Your body right now needs serotonin..You need higher dose of your medications, trust me :) You are not bipolar or anything like that. Listen to your body, it speaks for you. Did you gain weight? Did you leave your body without exercise for long time? Do you eat healthy? Big meals on the night time? Do you have stress from work? school? A loss? The end of a relationship or friendship? Dig deeper.. Do yoga/pilates, take your medication properly and your body will heal, have some patience I know it's so uncomfortable.. But this is a phase and you will get through it! :)

Iwant2bhealthy

30-03-18, 07:47

Hi Frosty, I'm sorry to hear you feel this way right now. One thing I can assure you about is that the medication will not make you go insane. How do I know it? Because I was very worried about it when I first started to take them. Together with my doctor we went through all the catastrophe scenarios I had in my head, and all of them were impossible. The medication will definately not make you go crazy.

Frosty97

31-03-18, 17:40

Bigboyuk

31-03-18, 18:58

Hi Frosty know how you feel so far this year has been a bad one, for me, I too have little or no interest in anything totally bored all the time. It sounds like you have a couple of MH problems going Anxiety and Depression both terrible to endure mate. where abouts are you based in the uk (county is fine) Do you have hobbies and interests? Guess your first approach is your Dr like some therapy may be to work with your meds maybe. Hope you get better real soon ATB

Iwant2bhealthy

02-04-18, 12:05

Thanks for your support guys. It's very scary, this past week/just over now I've been feeling like this, waking up with a racing heart every morning, feeling depersonalized,nauseous, unhappy, cloudy mind, can't think straight at all, lost interest in a lot of things etc.

I've decided to start taking the 40mg of Citalopram. At the moment I am scared and convinced I'm going to feel like this forever. I constantly seek reassurance from friends and family via phone if I'm losing my mind or not, this feels like a nightmare at the moment. I haven't felt like myself and it really is very terrifying.
I've taken tests online for depression etc and apparently I'm "severely depressed" which is worrying me even more, I just want to be my old self again.

What do you guys suggest? It's hard to tell myself that this is just anxiety!

Yes, it is very scary. It is also completely normal to feel that way when you are anxious and/or depressed. :-)

Looking at other posts on this forum, and comparing it with my own experiences, I can tell you that almost all of us felt this way at some point.
About year ago I posted a question here asking if escitalopram can make me loose my mind. Everybody here said: "no". I asked the same question to my gp, and my theraphist and got the same answer. And guess what? They were all right. Meds helped me go through this, even though they made my symptoms worse for a few weeks. It was the worst time of my life, but it passed.

At one point, before going to my gp and telling her what's going on with me, I was contemplating jumping out of a window because I thought it's impossible to ever feel/be normal after what happened to me. 5 months later I was happy I didn't do it. I was travelling again, going out again, eating in a restaurant and going to work again. Almost effortlessly doing all the things which seemed impossible just a few months back.
The change didn't happen over night, but the panic attacks became less frequent, the anxiety-free moments started to happen more and more often, and week by week, the ratio of "terrible days" to "ok days" started to look very promising.

Two most important things for me were: patience and work. It took me some time and effort, but I know that if I could do it, so can you!

I have a few questions for you: who putted you on 40 mg of citalopram? A gp or another doctor? Can you talk to this professional and ask for more advice? Maybe they could temporarily put you on aloprazolam to help you go through the initial side effects?
Are you currently under a care of a theraphist? If not, would you be open to a theraphy?