Oletha
31-03-18, 14:53
Hello,
I'm new here and not sure if this is posted in the right place. I need advice/help with dealing with my neighbours.
I'm finding it really hard to relax and feel better in my own home.
I'll explain the situation, I suffer from depression and anxiety and have done for around 15 years. I have been seeking help but that's a whole other story.
I moved in my first flat 3 years ago with a friend (who also suffers) and of course, the neighbours then weren't the best but compared to the new people (who moved in summer last year) they were fine.
The new neighbours (the flat below me) started off fine, she was quick to say sorry for her sons friends who kicked a heavy football at my window after we asked them not to kick it against the metal gate that attaches to the building (it causes a lot of noise and you can even feel the vibrations going through my home.)
So things seemed ok, I could talk to his woman (it was her and her 7 and 2-year-olds). As time went on the noise started, first, it was just her kids screaming, then it was a karaoke machine which was so loud I could hear her singing over anything I was watching.
Because of our anxiety, I didn't want to approach her. But I jumped into her in the hallway and she asked me about the music, (Karaoke was the worse, but she does have music on quite loud at times) and she again said sorry and asked me to just pop down and tell her it's loud. So, this is what I did. Though it did take her ages to answer the door because she couldn't hear the bell/knocking over her singing, she did turn it down, but often it grew louder after a while.
Her child stopped playing football by the gate after the housing officer sent a letter out to all residents and told them to stop (plus the gate broke and has remained that way for 4 months now).
But things have only gotten worse, I began getting woken up most mornings (including weekends) at around 7.30-8am by banging. Her son had started to throw things because he didn't want to go to school (how do I know this, because I can hear them shouting "Get dressed you're going to school" "You said I could have a day off" "Get dressed"), honestly the banging went on throughout the day, so I do believe he keeps having time off. And at weekends this noise was worse, she now has a boyfriend who keeps coming over and bringing his 2 children.
It's double the children and double the noise. A few weekends I did go down at 8-30am only to be told "sorry" and it carrying on. I knocked on to offer her some cat food that my cat didn't like, and I thought maybe hers would (when she first had a cat, I gave her quite a few toys to help out) and she explained to me the noise would stop, she realised that her boyfriend and his kids were causing most of it.
A week later, he was back with his kids. Since he has been in the picture, we've noticed a smell of weed getting into my home on a regular basis. Now I don't care about people smoking it as long as it doesn't get into my house. My roommate is asthmatic and my cat has heart problems and the smell makes me feel sick. I can't put my clothes out of the line or open my door/windows because it is getting in with them closed, let alone them open.
The noise is continuing, about a month ago I forced myself to go down and ask them to turn the karaoke down, only to be met with the neighbour mother and this is how that went.
Me- "Sorry to bother you, the music is a little loud"
Her mother "No its not"
Me- "I can hear it over my TV"
Her mother "Turn it up then"
me- "I don't want to bother the neighbours above me"
her mother "Surely you can"
By the end of that my chest really hurt and I was close to tears so I left. THis happened at 2.45pm and carried on until 8pm. I know those times aren't midnight or anything, but I can't deal with loud noises, hell I can't have loud music in my headphones for long. But my TV was louder than I normally prefer.
I have spoken to the housing officer/department and so far nothing has been done (the offcier literally works 2 days a week and often cancels appointments with me), I have kept a log of the weed smell. Tried to record the sound, but my microphone isn't great, what its picking up is barely anything compared to what we hear.
We were told to put in earbus, which we do and can hear the noise over them (and earbuds don't block out smell obviously), we've had headphones on loud and can still hear them.
I don't want to be forced out my home because of them, where I live is close to family and since neither me or my friend can get out the house with our anxiety, the area we live in has everything (A shop, doctors, etc) and family to help. Plus I can't afford to move.
It is making us worse, I was getting better and both of us had started to go for short walks not often but sometimes. Since this has happened, I panic going to take the bin out. My chest hurts and I'm always close to tears (and often do end up crying).
I don't know what to do, please can anyone help?
(just to add, my neighbour is aware of my illness and how hard it was to approach her and she still sent her mother to the door and over the past 2 weeks and started to let her son play football by the gate, and the ball is banging against the wall and has hit my window a few times)
I'm new here and not sure if this is posted in the right place. I need advice/help with dealing with my neighbours.
I'm finding it really hard to relax and feel better in my own home.
I'll explain the situation, I suffer from depression and anxiety and have done for around 15 years. I have been seeking help but that's a whole other story.
I moved in my first flat 3 years ago with a friend (who also suffers) and of course, the neighbours then weren't the best but compared to the new people (who moved in summer last year) they were fine.
The new neighbours (the flat below me) started off fine, she was quick to say sorry for her sons friends who kicked a heavy football at my window after we asked them not to kick it against the metal gate that attaches to the building (it causes a lot of noise and you can even feel the vibrations going through my home.)
So things seemed ok, I could talk to his woman (it was her and her 7 and 2-year-olds). As time went on the noise started, first, it was just her kids screaming, then it was a karaoke machine which was so loud I could hear her singing over anything I was watching.
Because of our anxiety, I didn't want to approach her. But I jumped into her in the hallway and she asked me about the music, (Karaoke was the worse, but she does have music on quite loud at times) and she again said sorry and asked me to just pop down and tell her it's loud. So, this is what I did. Though it did take her ages to answer the door because she couldn't hear the bell/knocking over her singing, she did turn it down, but often it grew louder after a while.
Her child stopped playing football by the gate after the housing officer sent a letter out to all residents and told them to stop (plus the gate broke and has remained that way for 4 months now).
But things have only gotten worse, I began getting woken up most mornings (including weekends) at around 7.30-8am by banging. Her son had started to throw things because he didn't want to go to school (how do I know this, because I can hear them shouting "Get dressed you're going to school" "You said I could have a day off" "Get dressed"), honestly the banging went on throughout the day, so I do believe he keeps having time off. And at weekends this noise was worse, she now has a boyfriend who keeps coming over and bringing his 2 children.
It's double the children and double the noise. A few weekends I did go down at 8-30am only to be told "sorry" and it carrying on. I knocked on to offer her some cat food that my cat didn't like, and I thought maybe hers would (when she first had a cat, I gave her quite a few toys to help out) and she explained to me the noise would stop, she realised that her boyfriend and his kids were causing most of it.
A week later, he was back with his kids. Since he has been in the picture, we've noticed a smell of weed getting into my home on a regular basis. Now I don't care about people smoking it as long as it doesn't get into my house. My roommate is asthmatic and my cat has heart problems and the smell makes me feel sick. I can't put my clothes out of the line or open my door/windows because it is getting in with them closed, let alone them open.
The noise is continuing, about a month ago I forced myself to go down and ask them to turn the karaoke down, only to be met with the neighbour mother and this is how that went.
Me- "Sorry to bother you, the music is a little loud"
Her mother "No its not"
Me- "I can hear it over my TV"
Her mother "Turn it up then"
me- "I don't want to bother the neighbours above me"
her mother "Surely you can"
By the end of that my chest really hurt and I was close to tears so I left. THis happened at 2.45pm and carried on until 8pm. I know those times aren't midnight or anything, but I can't deal with loud noises, hell I can't have loud music in my headphones for long. But my TV was louder than I normally prefer.
I have spoken to the housing officer/department and so far nothing has been done (the offcier literally works 2 days a week and often cancels appointments with me), I have kept a log of the weed smell. Tried to record the sound, but my microphone isn't great, what its picking up is barely anything compared to what we hear.
We were told to put in earbus, which we do and can hear the noise over them (and earbuds don't block out smell obviously), we've had headphones on loud and can still hear them.
I don't want to be forced out my home because of them, where I live is close to family and since neither me or my friend can get out the house with our anxiety, the area we live in has everything (A shop, doctors, etc) and family to help. Plus I can't afford to move.
It is making us worse, I was getting better and both of us had started to go for short walks not often but sometimes. Since this has happened, I panic going to take the bin out. My chest hurts and I'm always close to tears (and often do end up crying).
I don't know what to do, please can anyone help?
(just to add, my neighbour is aware of my illness and how hard it was to approach her and she still sent her mother to the door and over the past 2 weeks and started to let her son play football by the gate, and the ball is banging against the wall and has hit my window a few times)