Making up scenarios of what's going to happen? Thinking the worst all the time

[muzicdejay]

Hi guys, recently posted about my rib ache and of course fearing the word we all dread.
Does anybody else convince themselves that everything tiny ache and pain is the big C? Then I make up these scenarios of what will happen, like I picture me telling my family and how I will go on in the hospital and how I'll cope with chemo etc.
I can't get it out of my head sometimes, I wake in the morning then this feeling of dread comes over me thinking, well, why should I feel cheerful today when I got this cancer to deal with?
I must say I haven't been diagnosed, it's just these stupid thoughts that go through my head.
Anybody else think the same or is it just me?

[unsure_about_this]

All the time, including every bump, lump, mark , I am worried about testicle cancer a tthe moment, I have never been diagonsed with anything, apart from a few cysts and part of my health condition which is not cancer, and not health anxiety/ocd etc.

[WorriedTQ]

You are absolutely not alone with the intrusive tagged on thoughts. I spend a lot of time worrying about my family and hardly get any joy out of things that should feel great ... I got a brand new car yesterday but I was so worried all day about various pains and sensations. The anxiety takes the shine off life in general. HA is rubbish to deal with and you are definitely not alone. Hope things improve for you soon.

[muzicdejay]

All the time, including every bump, lump, mark , I am worried about testicular cancer a tthe moment, I have never been diagonsed with anything, apart from a few cysts and part of my health condition which is not cancer, and not health anxiety/ocd etc.[/QUOTE

Yes same here buddy, mine actually started with testicle cancer about 15 years ago, I didn't have it but did have an ultrasound, turned out to be a cyst, from then on my HA started, been great for a while but this rib ache has brought it all back on. I sit picturing the doctor telling me the worst and how I'll react, think i'll feel better when I get the actual results.

---------- Post added at 20:20 ---------- Previous post was at 20:18 ----------

[QUOTE=WorriedTQ;1780373]You are absolutely not alone with the intrusive tagged on thoughts. I spend a lot of time worrying about my family and hardly get any joy out of things that should feel great ... I got a brand new car yesterday but I was so worried all day about various pains and sensations. The anxiety takes the shine off life in general. HA is rubbish to deal with and you are definitely not alone. Hope things improve for you soon.

You have hit the nail on the head there. Anxiety takes the shine off life. So very true, took my niece on an easter train ride today, I really should of been enjoying it but I was still thinking about what might be wrong with me, I put on a smile for her of course but the health thing is always at the back of my mind.
And thanks for the reply

[unsure_about_this]

I found out I had cysts from ultrasounds in 2016 and 2017, I got told I have two. It driving my parents mad worrying and keep going into the bathroom. I have a disability I am in my early/mid 30s should be living my life. I am going to be an uncle in October and I don't want my niece/nephew to pick up my anxiety from an early age.

[muzicdejay]

I found out I had cysts from ultrasounds in 2016 and 2017, I got told I have two. It driving my parents mad worrying and keep going into the bathroom. I have a disability I am in my early/mid 30s should be living my life. I am going to be an uncle in October and I don't want my niece/nephew to pick up my anxiety from an early age.

Awww, congrats on your upcoming niece/nephew, I have about 17 now and none of them have picked up my anxiety so try not to worry too much about that mate.
Just out of curiosity, what disability do you have? If that question is too personal I understand

[unsure_about_this]

Neurofibromatosis for health dyspraxia for disability

[cattia]

I can totally relate to this and I think a lot of us here will be able to. I often feel that I can't give myself permission to enjoy anything because it seems inappropriate if I have cancer. I too imagine in detail what it would be like to get a diagnosis and be lying on my sick bed dying. I hate having these thoughts as I feel that they are not really respectful to people who actually do have cancer, but it's all part of the anxiety. Are you seeing a counsellor? I have recently gone back into counselling and it is helping me but it's slow progress as I have been dealing with this most of my life.

[muzicdejay]

Neurofibromatosis for health dyspraxia for disability

Never heard of that mate.
So you have a lot to deal with.
I'm Jay by the way, thanks for the replies, you've made me feel a bit more calm

---------- Post added at 21:45 ---------- Previous post was at 21:42 ----------


I can totally relate to this and I think a lot of us here will be able to. I often feel that I can't give myself permission to enjoy anything because it seems inappropriate if I have cancer. I too imagine in detail what it would be like to get a diagnosis and be lying on my sick bed dying. I hate having these thoughts as I feel that they are not really respectful to people who actually do have cancer, but it's all part of the anxiety. Are you seeing a counsellor? I have recently gone back into counselling and it is helping me but it's slow progress as I have been dealing with this most of my life.

cattia..... OMG, Yes that's exactly what I do, picture myself getting chemo then been on my sick bed. And as you say, It's not respectful at all to those that are actually going through it.
No, not seeing a counsellor but have been thinking of seeking one out, I've bee great for a long time, then this new pain I have has brought my anxieties back big time.

[unsure_about_this]

Never heard of that mate.
So you have a lot to deal with.
I'm Jay by the way, thanks for the replies, you've made me feel a bit more calm

I'm phil you don't have to worry about getting neither you are born with both, my mum got diagonsed with the same health conditon as me nf much later in life, she is doing okay.

I think we are think the worst I been going back to self help group sessions last week again after a 4 year gap I decided I could not go again with what someone was talkiing about was too upsetting but due to data protection and confidentally I can't say too much.

I hope I can see my nephew/niece quite a lot, I am already down for babysitting and nappy changing.

I hate all this worry when people do have serious health issues etc, like people who do have cancer, thankfully I only known one person to have cancer and that was my auntie she was caught very early being a nurse and testing as new way to test breast cancer, my dad's mum I think she died of cancer she was given 24 hours to live in 2000 and died about 20 hours later, I did not see the death certifcate I was too young.

[muzicdejay]

I'm phil you don't have to worry about getting neither you are born with both, my mum got diagonsed with the same health conditon as me nf much later in life, she is doing okay.

I think we are think the worst I been going back to self help group sessions last week again after a 4 year gap I decided I could not go again with what someone was talkiing about was too upsetting but due to data protection and confidentally I can't say too much.

I hope I can see my nephew/niece quite a lot, I am already down for babysitting and nappy changing.

I hate all this worry when people do have serious health issues etc, like people who do have cancer, thankfully I only known one person to have cancer and that was my auntie she was caught very early being a nurse and testing as new way to test breast cancer, my dad's mum I think she died of cancer she was given 24 hours to live in 2000 and died about 20 hours later, I did not see the death certifcate I was too young.

Well nice to meet you Phil. And you sound very positive despite having health anxiety. I have never had any therapy for my anxiety but think I might look into getting some form of counselling this time.
haha, yes, I did plenty of babysitting and nappy changing, they are all grown up now though so I don't have to do that any more.

My grandad died of cancer but that was years ago, most people in my family died from heart attacks yet I never get scared over heart, it always seems to be the whole cancer thing.

[unsure_about_this]

Well nice to meet you Phil. And you sound very positive despite having health anxiety. I have never had any therapy for my anxiety but think I might look into getting some form of counselling this time.
haha, yes, I did plenty of babysitting and nappy changing, they are all grown up now though so I don't have to do that any more.

My grandad died of cancer but that was years ago, most people in my family died from heart attacks yet I never get scared over heart, it always seems to be the whole cancer thing.


Please do get the help I am seeing the GP about my health worries on the 9h my parents are fed up with me worrying as I automatic jump to the big c and go on and about it, the gp spoke to me on the phone last week and my dad, so he told her that he and my mum are both worried about my weight, and i panic about any changes in my body. I may get referred for cbt/anxiety and probably weight gained classes. CBT did not help me, and I narrowed miss out last time because of the questionnaire I did not score enough to get help, some questions were how I felt on the day.

My aunt is okay now I think she been clear of breast cancer for nearly two years. Mine is the cancer thing which every ache, lump etc, I dont google any more

[eminence]

most people in my family died from heart attacks yet I never get scared over heart, it always seems to be the whole cancer thing.

Same here. Most of late family members died of heart related issues or uncommon events like fatal accidents and even murder but I'm not worried about any of that, it's always cancer. In the last year I've convinced myself that I have lymphoma, leukemia, skin cancer and bladder cancer but have never even thought about heart disease. I wonder why?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi guys, recently posted about my rib ache and of course fearing the word we all dread.
Does anybody else convince themselves that everything tiny ache and pain is the big C? Then I make up these scenarios of what will happen, like I picture me telling my family and how I will go on in the hospital and how I'll cope with chemo etc.
I can't get it out of my head sometimes, I wake in the morning then this feeling of dread comes over me thinking, well, why should I feel cheerful today when I got this cancer to deal with?
I must say I haven't been diagnosed, it's just these stupid thoughts that go through my head.
Anybody else think the same or is it just me?


You are absolutely not alone with the intrusive tagged on thoughts. I spend a lot of time worrying about my family and hardly get any joy out of things that should feel great ... I got a brand new car yesterday but I was so worried all day about various pains and sensations. The anxiety takes the shine off life in general. HA is rubbish to deal with and you are definitely not alone. Hope things improve for you soon.


I can totally relate to this and I think a lot of us here will be able to. I often feel that I can't give myself permission to enjoy anything because it seems inappropriate if I have cancer. I too imagine in detail what it would be like to get a diagnosis and be lying on my sick bed dying. I hate having these thoughts as I feel that they are not really respectful to people who actually do have cancer, but it's all part of the anxiety. Are you seeing a counsellor? I have recently gone back into counselling and it is helping me but it's slow progress as I have been dealing with this most of my life.




You have hit the nail on the head there. Anxiety takes the shine off life. So very true, took my niece on an easter train ride today, I really should of been enjoying it but I was still thinking about what might be wrong with me, I put on a smile for her of course but the health thing is always at the back of my mind.
And thanks for the reply

Yep, it's not disrespectful. It's actually good that you consider this anyway isn't it? It's better than not caring enough to think that. But you do need to be aware of negative thinking as it can get out of control and cause low moods.

Intrusive thoughts can come with imagery anyway but consciously we can catastrophize and think through such scenarios too. It's very important to work on reducing the reaction to those intrusive thoughts because the obsessive-compulsive cycle expects that negative feedback (the compulsion) to tick a box in the cycle to confirm "valid". It's reinforcement.

As for the original question, muzicdejay, I would expect everyone on the HA does it, it's just part of the HA's various forms but with nuances between different disorders under the HA umbrella.

[unsure_about_this]

I ofen have scenarios in my head a lot about when I got the GP and dentist that things are going to be bad, like I need a filling for dentist. My brain is mess up.

[anom]

Ah yes

Something else to add to my year. It's like every few days I get something new, I'm either letting anxiety get on top of me or I've got the worlds quickest advancing cancer.

This 10 week + bowel cancer fear that was shrugged off by my doctors (still 8 weeks till a specialist) has left me in a right mess. I keep thinking of trying to go private for my sanity but I can't bring myself to go - I know its the only way I'm going to actually get better (either fixing whatever is wrong with me or shutting my brain up) but I just picture having scans/procedures and then picture the doctor coming in telling me how bad it is, I just imagine they will find tumours all over if they scan me and I can't cope with.."knowing"

I've got all these thoughts in my head about having to leave my job, putting a load of extra pressure on my parents who might need to..look after me (for however long I've got) missing seeing my puppy grow up.

I could go on for ages - any possible negative outcome I've ran it through my head. Its an utter nightmare and I don't really have anyone left to talk to as I've annoyed everyone :roflmao:

I also haven't been doing anything that could be perceived as entertainment or fun, half because I don't feel like it and half because it doesnt seem appropriate with my cancer..

"Ugh"

[unsure_about_this]

Ah yes

Something else to add to my year. It's like every few days I get something new, I'm either letting anxiety get on top of me or I've got the worlds quickest advancing cancer.

This 10 week + bowel cancer fear that was shrugged off by my doctors (still 8 weeks till a specialist) has left me in a right mess. I keep thinking of trying to go private for my sanity but I can't bring myself to go - I know its the only way I'm going to actually get better (either fixing whatever is wrong with me or shutting my brain up) but I just picture having scans/procedures and then picture the doctor coming in telling me how bad it is, I just imagine they will find tumours all over if they scan me and I can't cope with.."knowing"

I've got all these thoughts in my head about having to leave my job, putting a load of extra pressure on my parents who might need to..look after me (for however long I've got) missing seeing my puppy grow up.

I could go on for ages - any possible negative outcome I've ran it through my head. Its an utter nightmare and I don't really have anyone left to talk to as I've annoyed everyone :roflmao:

I also haven't been doing anything that could be perceived as entertainment or fun, half because I don't feel like it and half because it doesnt seem appropriate with my cancer..

"Ugh"

I understand your worries and you dread the worst

I am the same that in 2012/2013 I thought I had bowel cancer because of the abdominal pains I was having, even though the gp tried their best telling me it was IBS, something was going on, after having the camera up my backside and a few scans (which is not fun) it turned out to be a small harmless common pouch, I did not need keyhole. I do have a health condition myself so the abdominal pains could been cause by that was before I turned 30, I did a lot of googling at the point

When the gp in 2016 told me he felt a lump in the male region of testicle I was shaking when I saw the specialist (under the 2 week ruling) he could not find/feel a lump but just to triple check everything referred me for an ultrasound and because of how long the scan takes I got in the same day, just some cysts.

I worried about every lump, bump, ache etc, poo shape, colour, wee colour is cancer.

I supposed to be having fun and enjoying life, I am going to be an uncle in October

I do have a health condtiion NF which I had since ebirth, but did not found out until I was four as more symptoms were showing up.
I have annoyed a lot of people, I been on self help groups

[muzicdejay]

Same here. Most of late family members died of heart related issues or uncommon events like fatal accidents and even murder but I'm not worried about any of that, it's always cancer. In the last year I've convinced myself that I have lymphoma, leukemia, skin cancer and bladder cancer but have never even thought about heart disease. I wonder why?
eminence yes, it's strange isn't it? The main thing that runs in my family, heart disease, dosnt really worry me one bit. Both my mums brothers died of heart attacks in their 50s, my mum has had a heart scare, yet i never worry about my heart, it's always this dam cancer :wacko:

---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:41 ----------


Ah yes

Something else to add to my year. It's like every few days I get something new, I'm either letting anxiety get on top of me or I've got the worlds quickest advancing cancer.

This 10 week + bowel cancer fear that was shrugged off by my doctors (still 8 weeks till a specialist) has left me in a right mess. I keep thinking of trying to go private for my sanity but I can't bring myself to go - I know its the only way I'm going to actually get better (either fixing whatever is wrong with me or shutting my brain up) but I just picture having scans/procedures and then picture the doctor coming in telling me how bad it is, I just imagine they will find tumours all over if they scan me and I can't cope with.."knowing"

I've got all these thoughts in my head about having to leave my job, putting a load of extra pressure on my parents who might need to..look after me (for however long I've got) missing seeing my puppy grow up.

I could go on for ages - any possible negative outcome I've ran it through my head. Its an utter nightmare and I don't really have anyone left to talk to as I've annoyed everyone :roflmao:

I also haven't been doing anything that could be perceived as entertainment or fun, half because I don't feel like it and half because it doesnt seem appropriate with my cancer..

"Ugh"

anom, exactly what goes through my head, I had an xray last week and I'm dreading the phone ringing incase it's the doctor telling me he needs to see me over my results. Then I imagine him breaking the news to me and telling me I need further tests etc. It's a nightmare isn't it?

[anom]

I understand your worries and you dread the worst

I am the same that in 2012/2013 I thought I had bowel cancer because of the abdominal pains I was having, even though the gp tried their best telling me it was IBS, something was going on, after having the camera up my backside and a few scans (which is not fun) it turned out to be a small harmless common pouch, I did not need keyhole. I do have a health condition myself so the abdominal pains could been cause by that was before I turned 30, I did a lot of googling at the point

When the gp in 2016 told me he felt a lump in the male region of testicle I was shaking when I saw the specialist (under the 2 week ruling) he could not find/feel a lump but just to triple check everything referred me for an ultrasound and because of how long the scan takes I got in the same day, just some cysts.

I worried about every lump, bump, ache etc, poo shape, colour, wee colour is cancer.

I supposed to be having fun and enjoying life, I am going to be an uncle in October

I do have a health condtiion NF which I had since ebirth, but did not found out until I was four as more symptoms were showing up.
I have annoyed a lot of people, I been on self help groups

Its every little thing, I've only experienced it for 2 months now, I don't know how people manage for x years.

Every time I try and be rational and think age is probably on my side at the very least (even though I'm 32 I'm still..youngish!) then something else happens, a new ache or pain..or a dodgy looking poo (like this mornings!)

and its right back to, well ...it actually must be cancer what else can it be!


eminence yes, it's strange isn't it? The main thing that runs in my family, heart disease, dosnt really worry me one bit. Both my mums brothers died of heart attacks in their 50s, my mum has had a heart scare, yet i never worry about my heart, it's always this dam cancer :wacko:

---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:41 ----------



anom, exactly what goes through my head, I had an xray last week and I'm dreading the phone ringing incase it's the doctor telling me he needs to see me over my results. Then I imagine him breaking the news to me and telling me I need further tests etc. It's a nightmare isn't it?

I suspect thats going to be me before long, I started out thinking I'll have any pain/condition that doesn't need any sort of procedure because they freak me out.

Then it was, Fine I'll have anything but cancer, I don't care if I need scans/operations just anything but cancer

Now It's...anything but stage 3/4 cancer..

and I'm still not convinced it isnt :scared15:

I hope your xray results are well..uneventful!