Flying Stars
07-04-18, 00:34
Hi all
Just looking for some advice/reassurance.
The last few months have been very tough. I left a job I used to love because of the stress being unbearable (very high pressured and hardly any staff remaining) and I broke up with the man I thought I was going to marry, which kind of came out the blue. He turned into someone I didn’t recognise anymore and due to his own issues, decided to turn to drugs instead of me. I moved home and now live by myself with a new job.
I was a high health anxiety sufferer a few years ago and have suffered the death of close loved ones in younger years, but on the whole I’ve been doing well anxiety wise.
But lately I’ve been very hard on myself. I keep feeling that I should be over things by now. My job, my ex. I know that they don’t care about me so I feel angry that I cry and still care about them.
I know I’m doing the best I can and did the right thing getting away, BUT it appears my anxiety is back - in the form of my weight.
When I broke up at Christmas and left my job in February I dropped to 8st which is very low for me. Since then I’ve reclaimed weight and look better - which I know I should see as a good thing - but instead I’m worried I’ll lose my figure as well as everything else!
I’m constantly looking in mirrors at my stomach (which doesn’t help as I suffer with Ibs too from time to time), weighing myself whenever I can and trying to eat less - which always ends up with me snacking more. I’ve only put about 4 pounds on, which I know is still healthy for me and was needed, but anyone else felt this way after major life changes?
I wonder if it’s more to do with the loss of my identity or who I was with ex/ old job.
Still, the fear of gaining weight is very strong and frightening as I see it as me growing old alone and overweight and not a lot to my name along with all the other losses in my life (recent and past).
Anyone relate? To the weight thing or just the grieving process for this in general?
Btw it was my first proper relationship and I feel all of it completely knocked me off balance.
Thanks for reading x
Just looking for some advice/reassurance.
The last few months have been very tough. I left a job I used to love because of the stress being unbearable (very high pressured and hardly any staff remaining) and I broke up with the man I thought I was going to marry, which kind of came out the blue. He turned into someone I didn’t recognise anymore and due to his own issues, decided to turn to drugs instead of me. I moved home and now live by myself with a new job.
I was a high health anxiety sufferer a few years ago and have suffered the death of close loved ones in younger years, but on the whole I’ve been doing well anxiety wise.
But lately I’ve been very hard on myself. I keep feeling that I should be over things by now. My job, my ex. I know that they don’t care about me so I feel angry that I cry and still care about them.
I know I’m doing the best I can and did the right thing getting away, BUT it appears my anxiety is back - in the form of my weight.
When I broke up at Christmas and left my job in February I dropped to 8st which is very low for me. Since then I’ve reclaimed weight and look better - which I know I should see as a good thing - but instead I’m worried I’ll lose my figure as well as everything else!
I’m constantly looking in mirrors at my stomach (which doesn’t help as I suffer with Ibs too from time to time), weighing myself whenever I can and trying to eat less - which always ends up with me snacking more. I’ve only put about 4 pounds on, which I know is still healthy for me and was needed, but anyone else felt this way after major life changes?
I wonder if it’s more to do with the loss of my identity or who I was with ex/ old job.
Still, the fear of gaining weight is very strong and frightening as I see it as me growing old alone and overweight and not a lot to my name along with all the other losses in my life (recent and past).
Anyone relate? To the weight thing or just the grieving process for this in general?
Btw it was my first proper relationship and I feel all of it completely knocked me off balance.
Thanks for reading x