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Wish.it
15-04-18, 09:35
Hi everyone, this is my first post and I wondered if anyone could help. When my partner goes out drinking and it gets after midnight I panic. I worry about his safety on a night out as he gets quite drunk and I have had to pick him up a few times at 3am.
He doesn't go out that often, but I can't stop thinking bad thoughts of worry when he is out, until he comes home.

Has anyone else ever felt like this or has anyone got any advice on how I could learn to not worry? Thanks

Scass
15-04-18, 11:20
Hello & welcome.

I get like that, I worry about all my loved ones really. But I do know the worry you have. I think you just have to practice some relaxation techniques while he’s gone. Maybe remind yourself that he’s done this before and was fine too.

I suppose you could talk to him if it’s becoming a problem, but it sounds more like it’s your problem than his? Although having to pick him up at 3am IS a bit of a problem.

Nearly every time my partner doesn’t answer his phone I worry about why. Rational thinking tells me that he’s a busy man and just couldn’t get to it there & then. Anxiety tells me that he’s fallen down a hole and banged his head - or something equally stupid. It’s just another anxiety symptom really that can be dealt with the same way as all other anxiety symptoms. Relaxing, breathing, mindfulness, staying calm.


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WiseMonkey
15-04-18, 11:46
Hi everyone, this is my first post and I wondered if anyone could help. When my partner goes out drinking and it gets after midnight I panic. I worry about his safety on a night out as he gets quite drunk and I have had to pick him up a few times at 3am.
He doesn't go out that often, but I can't stop thinking bad thoughts of worry when he is out, until he comes home.

Has anyone else ever felt like this or has anyone got any advice on how I could learn to not worry? Thanks

Hi,

When he goes out drinking, I'd have a girls night out or in at your place. I'd make it clear that if he wants to go out drinking (and get drunk), then he must get a taxi home.

Why should he inconvenience you at that time of the morning? If he has to take responsibility for finding his own way home, then he may choose to drink less or more responsibly. I take it he knows about the anxiety this causes you.

Wish.it
15-04-18, 12:21
Thank you for your post. He knows about my anxiety. I am never going to stop him going out, but I need to find a way to cope better when he does. Distracting myself whikst he is out does sound like a good idea.

---------- Post added at 12:21 ---------- Previous post was at 12:19 ----------

Thanks Scass, you seem to be able to relate to my panic thought process. I will take up your recommendations of finding a way to relax and stay mindful as my thoughts go to catastophe because he isnt anserring his phone. Thanks