smileplease
17-04-18, 14:07
Hi everyone,
Hoping I can get some friendly help and advice, or just support here. Feeling quite alone and like not many people understand what I'm going through right now.
To give a bit of background on myself, I've struggled with depression and anxiety on and off for most of my life, even as a child/teenager it has been a problem for me. Over the past 3 years it has been much worse, but have had good parts and bad parts, good parts mostly when taking fluoxetine for 6 months etc and then I got better... and then I ended up coming off the medication and at some point end up back at square one.
Since December I've had a really bad flare up of severe anxiety - panic attacks, breakdowns, generally not coping and struggling with work. I was signed off for two weeks in March, and I went back in after the second week off, as I was starting to feel a bit better and didn't want to get into any issues with work for taking too much time off sick. The doctor also increased my dosage of fluoxetine from 20mg to 40mg. I've also been taking propanolol which has helped the anxiety but feel like I've been relying on this (and alcohol) way too much.
Since my return to work things have been spiralling downward again. Not sure if it's to do with the increased dosage, or work stress, or just a flare up out of nowhere, but either way I certainly haven't been good. Had to leave work on Thursday and haven't been back in since, although I have been working from home when I can. Have felt like I was having a mental breakdown, very frequent and intense thoughts of self harm etc which has been quite scary for me as I haven't experienced this as intensely before. I don't feel stable, and am very up and down. One minute I feel like I'm okay again and back to normal, and it's as if there was never a problem in the first place - the next I'm a crumbling mess and can't pull myself together to function like a normal human being.
I went back to the doctors this morning and told her everything in as much detail as possible so that she could get a good understanding of what's been going on. I tried to be super honest.
She has signed me off again for two weeks with anxiety and severe depression and also referred me to the mental health crisis team.
I haven't said anything to work, and I'm really unsure what to do as a next step. I have a huge amount of responsibility at work at the moment and feel that it's going to really affect my career badly if I stop work completely and take more time off. I feel they may even let me go, which cannot happen as I have rent to pay etc. I really don't know how to move forward and what I should do next.
Can anyone offer any helpful advice?
Thank you all
xx
Hoping I can get some friendly help and advice, or just support here. Feeling quite alone and like not many people understand what I'm going through right now.
To give a bit of background on myself, I've struggled with depression and anxiety on and off for most of my life, even as a child/teenager it has been a problem for me. Over the past 3 years it has been much worse, but have had good parts and bad parts, good parts mostly when taking fluoxetine for 6 months etc and then I got better... and then I ended up coming off the medication and at some point end up back at square one.
Since December I've had a really bad flare up of severe anxiety - panic attacks, breakdowns, generally not coping and struggling with work. I was signed off for two weeks in March, and I went back in after the second week off, as I was starting to feel a bit better and didn't want to get into any issues with work for taking too much time off sick. The doctor also increased my dosage of fluoxetine from 20mg to 40mg. I've also been taking propanolol which has helped the anxiety but feel like I've been relying on this (and alcohol) way too much.
Since my return to work things have been spiralling downward again. Not sure if it's to do with the increased dosage, or work stress, or just a flare up out of nowhere, but either way I certainly haven't been good. Had to leave work on Thursday and haven't been back in since, although I have been working from home when I can. Have felt like I was having a mental breakdown, very frequent and intense thoughts of self harm etc which has been quite scary for me as I haven't experienced this as intensely before. I don't feel stable, and am very up and down. One minute I feel like I'm okay again and back to normal, and it's as if there was never a problem in the first place - the next I'm a crumbling mess and can't pull myself together to function like a normal human being.
I went back to the doctors this morning and told her everything in as much detail as possible so that she could get a good understanding of what's been going on. I tried to be super honest.
She has signed me off again for two weeks with anxiety and severe depression and also referred me to the mental health crisis team.
I haven't said anything to work, and I'm really unsure what to do as a next step. I have a huge amount of responsibility at work at the moment and feel that it's going to really affect my career badly if I stop work completely and take more time off. I feel they may even let me go, which cannot happen as I have rent to pay etc. I really don't know how to move forward and what I should do next.
Can anyone offer any helpful advice?
Thank you all
xx