Struggling with some kind of existential panic attacks

[Confusion 0]

Sorry if I'm not making much sense, this is difficult to explain.

So, I've been having this issue for years now, but it was perfectly manageable. It's becoming unbearable now. My brain doesn't shut off much, so I'm always daydreaming, always wondering about things. Around the age of 10 or so, I started thinking about the universe, and how anything even came into existence from nothing. I can't really explain the exact thoughts I have, because I panic so much I forget what it was. This would usually happen when I was trying to get to sleep, so I started listening to music at night to distract myself. Problem is, every time I've thought about it over the years, I've thought in more and more detail about it every single time, to the point where this morning I was in bed, on my phone, when my mind yet again wandered to this subject, and I had the worst panic attack I've ever had, crawling over to the other end of my bed, screaming things like "No! Stop! Just stop!". I calmed down after a bit, but it was awful. Again, it usually happens if I think about how anything even exists in the first place. That then leads to rather unpleasant thoughts I can't quite pin down, but I just wish it would stop. It's difficult to even describe, given the nature of it. :unsure:

I mean, I've had severe social anxiety, to the point where I couldn't leave the house, but this is 100x worse than that. It's easily the worst thing I've ever been through.

Anyone relate to this? Any suggestions?

[ana]

Definitely. Like the person above me has stated, if you look at some of my previous posts, you'll see that I suffer from depersonalisation and existential thoughts often haunt me. However, it's possible to relax and not think these things over time, and if you unlearn the thought patterns you've learnt, you'll start feeling better.

[Tyke]

I struggle a bit with existential anxiety from time to time. Life is really weird isn't it. I mean I can imagine they'd be absolutely nothing and never ever would be and if that was the case we wouldn't be able to know anything about it. But the fact we are here and do know about it! But why? Like Raindrops says, try and find a solution that works best for you. I try and think 'well I am here, so it's meant to be'. People with a strong faith worry less on this one as they have an answer, but it's much tougher when you don't.