Did I cause my dad's stroke?

[ksmith]

Didn't know where to put this but coz I have Health anx thought I'd post it here. My dad hasn't been well for a few weeks so I thought I would have him come stay with me. He was diagnosed with COPD a couple of weeks ago which is a little like emphasema. Anyway, he had a bit of a cough and cold so this this what I did and am now worried about.

I filled a bowl with steaming hot water, put some eucalyptis(sp) oil in and told him to inhale the steam and menthol vapours. This he did, but after a couple of minutes he sort of blacked out, looked at my confused and started to talk incoherently. I shouted to my husband to get an ambulance quick. He has had a big stroke, no speech, blind in one eye, left side completely numb.

I can't help thinking that it was my fault. I shouldn't have made him inhale the steam and menthol stuff. Did it overcome him causing him to lack oxygen in his brain? Did I put too much oil in etc etc.

Can anyone reassure me, or let me know if I did cause this to happen? I feel absolutely dreadful. IBS back big time ........sorry to babble but am really panicking here.

Kay x

[Lindalou64]

no hun its not your fault please believe this.my mom had 7 strokes i know its sad but what you have done would never cause a stroke to take him in was a wonderful thing to do for him..if he had a stroke it was coming at your house or where ever he would of been hun ok so please dont blame yaself i wish you all well my thots and prayers are with yas..............linda xxx

[ksmith]

Thanks Linda. I'm just looking for answers and as this was the thing he was doing when it happened I feel responsible. I'm sure I read somewhere that certain oils shouldn't be used for some conditions.

Gonna get some sleep now. Been at hospital for 2 days and nights! knackered.

kay x

[Wilburis]

Hi

Sorry to hear about your dad.

My dad had a really big stroke 4 years ago, his left side is paralysed too.

You did not cause the stroke.

Please believe me that after something like this happens, you start to ask why, I know I did.

If I had done this differently, if Id of done that differently. Really I was looking for someone to blame - why has it happened to my dad.

You need to look after yourself as well as your dad. Please try to be strong for him and yourself.

Thinking about you, feel free to pm if you need a chat or would like to know anything - I now know quite a lot about strokes!!! (My 91 year old grandma had a mild stroke a month ago, she is now back home and doing fine)!

Love Liz xx

[manmoor]

Hello Kay,

Sorry to hear about your dad hun. Please don't blame yourself as it was in no way your fault. Have a big hug from me. xxx

[Piglet]

Awww hun :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love Piglet

[yorkylover]

Sorry to hear about your dad,you didnt cause the stroke kay.
:bighug1: :bighug1:

[trac67]

Kay,

Sorry to hear about your dad :hugs: :hugs:

My dad had a massive stroke 6 years ago and was in a coma for 2 months due to it and we were told there was not a lot of hope of him recovering, but he came out of the coma and after 6 months in hospital and rehab he finally went home. It has left him unable to walk far, or do a lot of things for himself, but he is as fit as anything now, and enjoys life even with his disabilities. He did lose his speech when he first had the stroke and the use of his left hand side, but in time it all returned, even though his speech is a lot slower and quieter now and he does forget a lot of things.

Stay strong and positive and make sure you still look after you too

Love

Trac xxx

[jill]

Hi Kay, :hugs: :hugs:

I am soo sorry to hear about your dad.

Ohhh hun, please, please, don't do this to yourself, you ARE NOT to blame for your dads stroke. Things like this happen, although we wish they would not, they sometimes do, please don't blame yourself.

I know its hard for you right now, but be kind to yourself, you have had a shoke, you did all you could to help your dad, did all the right things, call the ambluance ect,

Put these negative thoughts to one side and think of helping your dad get better, you need to look after yourself too.

Lots of hugs for you hun :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and some for your dad too :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :flowers:


You take care

LOVE JILLXX

[JulieAs45]

Hi K,

This is really hard for me to write but i know exactly how you feel hun, sadly my dad died of a sudden heart attack while he was in hospital recovering from a hip op. He had been unwell the whole time after coming round from anisthetic, was being sick etc. He wanted a drink of water but everyone said no he shouldnt and my mum wouldnt give in. When i was on my own with him i let him have the smallest sip of water. That night he died. Ive not really told anyone this before but your post really hit home. :weep:

I live with the most awful guilt that that tiny sip of water killed him, its horrible, Ive talked to docs and they have explained what happened to dad and I know it is nothing to do with the water, but still i cant get it out of my head. I really feel for you hun, im trying to let it go now and you should too, sometimes crap just happens and theres no reason for it at all. You were trying to help and do what you thought was right, same as me, you cant be to blame for that.

Be strong hun and let it go x
Julie
xxxx

[ksmith]

Thanks guys for all your replies. Have been running after consultants today for reassurance but can't get any real answers. Your replies have really helped me get a bit of perspective. I've been at the hospital all day to day and now Ive just had half a diazipam so's I can get some sleep.
Kay x x

[jakob]

Sorry to hear about what happened, I'll concentrate on the practical though as I am better at that than the emotional...

The answer to your question is NO, absolutely not. A stroke is caused by a bleed or blockage in the vascular system (the red stuff). It's true that the brain is starved of oxygen but only because it isn't getting enough blood. Your care for your father can't have affected this in any meaningful way. The causes of the stroke started long before you helped him with his breathing etc.

Sorry for the excessive use of bold type(!), but it really is important that you are 100% clear about this as there is 0% responsibility on your shoulders.

I hope the outcome is as good as possible for your father.

Jakob.

[vernon]

So sorry about your Dad K and sorry what you have suffered too Jalie, K my father in law recently had a stroke and according to the hospital staff and doctors, a stroke don't just happen, They are building up to it for a long time just like some heart attacks and it just happened to hit him at that time. He could have been doing something in the garden or going for a walk and the same would have happened. Then you would be saying I shouldnt have let him go in the garden or I shouldnt have let him go for a walk. It was going to happen at that time no matter what he was doing, and you love and care by taking him in would hav made him better not worst. Take care. Vernon

[Piglet]

Good reply Verny - spot on :hugs:

I hope you feel a bit better about things this morning Kay and Julie a hug for you also. :hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[vernon]

Pglet, My number one Girlfriend:) how are you

[Piglet]

Hi ya darlin :hugs:

Been having a stressful time with bits and bobs Verny but seemed to have coped ok with it all. The agoraphobia is a lot better at the moment than it has been for awhile so that's good.

Hope you're keepin well sausage??

Love Piglet :flowers:

[ksmith]

Thanks again guys. I think it's true that I would have blamed myself whatever happened because he was in my care. He's still holding in there (thank god)! John Lennon once said "life is something that happens to you while you're planning it" - I know what he means!

My doc has been brilliant, even doubling up prescription for Diazipam which I usually have to fight for! Thanks again everyone.

Kay x

[Piglet]

Kay just offload anytime you need to hun and look after yourself too.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[trac67]

Just sending you a :hugs: Kay and to let you know we are all here for you

Love

Trac xxx