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liam_mcf
16-12-04, 18:58
Hey there, before i introduce myself i would just like to say a very big thanks to everyone who is involved in this site, not long found it and have spent the last couple of hours reading near enough all of it!
And it has helped me a little already...

Im a 22 year old electrician from Glasgow...and till now i never really worried about anything [Sigh...]

I've never been a person that has worried alot or ever got stressed out but the last couple of weeks i have really felt like pulling my hair out...feel as if im going mad!!!

im going to try and explain but im not sure where to start to be honest :)

About 3 years ago i was diagnosed with testicular cancer..though after an operation and some treatment i was fine and have been for the last 2 years and a half.
After the op i was off work for a while and became really unfit and to
make matters worse im now working in an office where as before i would be out on sites working away..keeping myself fit!

So i got a little depressed but nothing major, infact i wouldnt even call it being depressed :D

The last years or so ive just been working away getting on with life as usual..Until i done something really really stupid in August of this year.

I was at a party and took some amphetamines, ive never touched drugs in my life and from the experiance i had i never will again.
I know it was really stupid...but i was drunk and i did it anyway..i know thats no excuse!

What ever it was i took i must have took to much of or it never agreed with me, as later on that night i began to feel really faint and ill.
I felt my heart beating really really fast and felt i couldnt breathe, my whole body went numb and pins and needles...i was in complete terror and all i could think was i was taking a heart attack.
An ambulance got phoned and i got taking to hospital, i took me about 8 hours to calm down and i got kept in over night. I got let out the next day after i got some test to make sure my heart was ok as it was still beating fast.

i got home and it took me a couple of days before i felt better, and i felt my heart was back to normal.

i started to get on with my life till one night when i was laying in bed
and i suddenly took a panic attack, i really did panick as i kept on thinkin i was gonna take a heart attack and that i had damaged my heart because of taking the drug. But my mother tried to assure me it was a panick attack or maybe a flash back of some sort.

Since then and till now ive maybe had 3 big panick attacks..keep thinking the same things..and feeling real anxious all the time.

Then for about 2-3 weeks i felt absolute fine, my boss was on holiday for 3 weeks and i didnt do much work :D and just relaxed browsing the net all day!!!

But for the last few weeks (i would say the start of november) i have been feeling really anxious again...i feel as if im loosing my mind and i dunno what it is! i can feel my heart beating really fast sometimes and i feel im in a world of my own. I get this really wierd nervous feeling all the time which is really bothering me the most as ive never really had it before...keep thinking im going mad!!

When im with someone especially my gorlfriend i seem to be not to bad...but at work when im working away on the computer it feels the worst also when im on my own!!
Im struggling to get to sleep at night even though im so so tired!

I went to the doctor and explained everything, he took some tests and ill find out about them just after the new year.

He told me i should try and relax and give it time and hopefully ill feel better...

But there seems to be just no ending!!!

Im constantly thinking of what is causing it...im not stressed out about my work im not under great pressure or anything...myabe its just the bordom at staring at a pc all day? maybe its getting me worked up?
or could it be that i keep thinking of that overdose when i thought i was taking a heart attack? maybe its just everything over the past three years just building up?

Anyway thanks for reading if you have eventually got

Meg
16-12-04, 19:19
Hey Liam ,

Welcome . You're going to be fine.

Amphetamines - speed - it did to you just what it said on the tin - stimulated your systems and put you on full alert. You probably did have more than you should have to start with or it was poor quality . Anyway no matter now.

**i really did panick as i kept on thinkin i was gonna take a heart attack and that i had damaged my heart because of taking the drug.**

You most likely had your panic attack because you were thinking about it and this reminded your body about how it felt at that time and it was the trigger to replicate this. It is possibel for flashbacks to occur but they usually happen spontaneously and earlier on .

**myabe its just the bordom at staring at a pc all day**
**that i keep thinking of that overdose when i thought **

Both of these are likely contributing factors. Its really positive that you are ok when around people as that confirms that this is anxiety. If you were ill the symptoms wouldn't shift depending on the company.

You are not mad - its the anxiety . We do not understand whats going on within ourselves so we put it down to the only thing we can think of which explains to us teh feelings we're having - which is going mad.

You talk about being unfit -- what are you now doing about that ?
You could use up your excess nervousness in the gym which would help you in several ways.

These may help you think about things from a different perspectives.

Thoughts : Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=283)
First Steps : First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)


The best thing you can do is to get on with things - keep busy and distracted and put it behind you now. When you start thinking about it - do remind yourself that a single whack of these drugs will in no way have harmed you or your heart at all long term.

Take care - we're here when you have more questions ..













Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

Karen
16-12-04, 19:24
Hi Liam

Welcome to the site.

I'm sure you will get a lot of help and support here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

Cookie
16-12-04, 19:35
Hi Liam,
Welcome to the site! I would definately say this is all linked to you taking amphetamine. I have the same worries as you, with my heart, mine stems from an allergic reaction I had though.
I completely understand how you feel. If its any consolation to you, the racing heartbeat you experience is caused by your body panicking and releasing adrenalin.
Obviously the episode when you went to hospital has shook you up more than you realised. Its just your bodies way of trying to protect itself, by panicking.
If you try and tell yourself this everytime you feel like you're going to start panicking, it was a bad experience but its over now, just take slow deliberate breaths, focus on your breathing to slow down your heart beat. Exhale for longer than you inhale, that works for my ticker!
I'm sure you'll be fine. It just would have been a shock to your system when you took the drugs.
Just give yourself time, and above all, relax. Hard, I know. But it helps.
Cookie.x

seh1980
16-12-04, 20:13
hello there Liam,

It really does sound like the events of the past three years are catching up with you. The drugs experience probably just sent you overboard. That's what happened to me except with me it was alcohol.

It sounds like you have gone through the worst of it - I'm sure that once you get all the results from the GP, you will start to get your life back on track.

Sarah :D

vernon
16-12-04, 21:38
ho loam, welcome to the site. hope u fomd the answers u r looking for on here. all the best Vernon

jill
17-12-04, 13:13
Hi Liam

Welcome to the site.

There are lots of nice people here
who will help and support you.

LOVE JILLXX



All problems have a begining and an end!

nomorepanic
17-12-04, 16:18
Hi Liam

Welcome aboard the site and forum.

A few on here started panic attacks after taking drugs - it seems a common starter of panic. Mine was started after a heavy night drinking!

I hope we can be of some help to you and get you back on track asap.

Let us know if you have any questions.

Nicola

FAN
17-12-04, 18:34
hi liam and welcome, hopefully being here will help as i had lots of good advice since joining im trying out the rescue remedy thing now maybe you can read up on that

fan x

panickychick
19-12-04, 23:25
Hi and welcome to the boards. I'm new here too but I've already realised that it's excellent!



Proper Bo!

BlondeAndi
20-12-04, 14:02
Hi Liam

Welcome to the site :) I've just joined and think it looks great.

Just want to say what an honest and open person you sound. I bet you'd be good at telling your story to school kids? Someone young like you would get the story over easier I think?

Anyway, hope you feel better soon and find lots of new friends here.

take care

Blonde Andi x