wubu
19-04-18, 10:34
I spent many years with a previous ex, split and felt a bit down but carried on and was actually enjoying life. Then I met this amazing woman who swept me off my feet! Damn. This is what I was missing!
She was the quiet BPD and I never learnt what BPD was until after, despite the the subtle indirect warnings from her about it. The warning signs should have made me leg it but , the putting you so high up on her list of importance felt great! The odd minor lies here and there, future planning so quickly, me being “so different than the others” and the emotional tailspinning and her sense of self loathing and “why would anyone love me” statements gives you that hero complex to help a damsel in distress but really I was nothing more than a supply source to temporarily fix her.
The idealisation stage progressed and then boom. Devaluation with a little idealisation sprinkled in there just to keep you hooked in until being discarded... then being reeled back in, ignored, lied about and then reeled back in again when she needed her fix.
I've learnt a harsh lesson about boundaries and unfortunately I’ve been left with a very sour taste and feel very used and confused. Thankfully some learning about BPD offered some closure.
Rant over!
She was the quiet BPD and I never learnt what BPD was until after, despite the the subtle indirect warnings from her about it. The warning signs should have made me leg it but , the putting you so high up on her list of importance felt great! The odd minor lies here and there, future planning so quickly, me being “so different than the others” and the emotional tailspinning and her sense of self loathing and “why would anyone love me” statements gives you that hero complex to help a damsel in distress but really I was nothing more than a supply source to temporarily fix her.
The idealisation stage progressed and then boom. Devaluation with a little idealisation sprinkled in there just to keep you hooked in until being discarded... then being reeled back in, ignored, lied about and then reeled back in again when she needed her fix.
I've learnt a harsh lesson about boundaries and unfortunately I’ve been left with a very sour taste and feel very used and confused. Thankfully some learning about BPD offered some closure.
Rant over!