SarahNah
19-04-18, 21:21
So, tomorrow is the day of my ct results.
Like I've said before, thing's just have felt worse over the last week since the scan. Which I was asked back to do after they noticed one kidney was bigger than the other. They didn't seem to worried or mention any other organ. Yet my mind is going over drive. Like I feel like I've given myself at least 15 different cancers it could be and another 10 non- but deadly other things it could be. I've been barely able to sit comfortable or stand without a horrible pain in a few different areas around my middle-lower back. Around my pelvis, chest,breast, collarbone- the list never ends. I feel like I have to get sick all the time. My stool habits are scaring me more. I just feel like I'm not in touch with reality.
Like, a part of me keeps thinking that if something was wrong they would of had to find it at this stage. I've had a ultrasound, breath-test, chest x-ray, a million different blood tests. So far, all they have found is I have a bad but manageable bacterial infection in my stomach and I have issues with acid- and a lot of anxiety. Like, surely if they had found something truly bad. They would have called me in? Not let it go this far? Wanted more tests? Everyone in my family and friends keep saying this to me but like so many people I can't thinking about the worse.
Like I just want to get back to normal, I've thought I've had so many different things wrong with me since last July. Like when I think I'm finally over it, something pulls me back. I'm going to be CBT but it doesn't help that much really. I'm 21, I don't want to send the rest of my life in this strange set.
Like I've said before, thing's just have felt worse over the last week since the scan. Which I was asked back to do after they noticed one kidney was bigger than the other. They didn't seem to worried or mention any other organ. Yet my mind is going over drive. Like I feel like I've given myself at least 15 different cancers it could be and another 10 non- but deadly other things it could be. I've been barely able to sit comfortable or stand without a horrible pain in a few different areas around my middle-lower back. Around my pelvis, chest,breast, collarbone- the list never ends. I feel like I have to get sick all the time. My stool habits are scaring me more. I just feel like I'm not in touch with reality.
Like, a part of me keeps thinking that if something was wrong they would of had to find it at this stage. I've had a ultrasound, breath-test, chest x-ray, a million different blood tests. So far, all they have found is I have a bad but manageable bacterial infection in my stomach and I have issues with acid- and a lot of anxiety. Like, surely if they had found something truly bad. They would have called me in? Not let it go this far? Wanted more tests? Everyone in my family and friends keep saying this to me but like so many people I can't thinking about the worse.
Like I just want to get back to normal, I've thought I've had so many different things wrong with me since last July. Like when I think I'm finally over it, something pulls me back. I'm going to be CBT but it doesn't help that much really. I'm 21, I don't want to send the rest of my life in this strange set.