KatiePink
24-04-18, 14:34
I've had health anxiety for many years now, and despite 'beating it' for short periods and having times where I didn't seem to suffer, it has pretty much stolen my 20's and wasted so many days, years, moments worrying and obsessing over my perceived illnesses none of which I've ever had. I don't want it to steal my 30's too.
I'm in a terrible place with it at the moment, I recognise it, that's the thing, I absolutely know my anxiety is out of control yet I still struggle to stop it. Never underestimate what having chronic anxiety can do. This may not be the place to say this so apologies if this triggers, but the only thing making me Ill and effecting my body is constant anxiety! A negative mind and stress. That's it simple. I blame stress & anxiety for my TMJ problems, back & muscle problems, sleep issues and more. It is the most difficult cycle to break. While you may have actual health problems nothing and i mean NOTHING will improve unless your anxiety does. An anxious body cannot function as well as a relaxed body can. Your body is an amazing thing and is constantly working to look after itself, HELP it do that.
I know how convinced we are, I know how terrified we are of dying, I understand it all and have been to horrific places with health anxiety, and some quite frankly disturbing times. I can laugh at myself though, In hindsight, like yesterday I convinced myself I was going to have a stroke that's my latest concern, and I talk my mind into believing that it's logical, well my grandad had one early that must count for something, I smoked a long time, I'm always stressed, and i look like someone who will.. yes i actually told myself I LOOK like someone who will, how ridiculous is that.
Stood in my kitchen before sterilising my babies bottles, one side of my face had felt funny all day, a strange pressure near the eye and cheek bone, this has happened numerous times in the past and I've always freaked out, I told myself it waa the start of a stroke or that i was going to become paralysed, I was touching my face all over and pulling faces to make sure it was working ok. I then picked up a fork and pressed it on both sides of my face to test whether the coldness felt the same, and then I closed my eyes and used the fork to gently stab my eyes and face to see if i could feel it all over..
YES imagine that, a fully grown woman, a mother, stood in the kitchen stabbing her face with a fork !!!
It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad, this has been my life for so so long, and it's robbing me of my precious moments, sat on my bed last night crying, remembering being sat here 5 years ago trying so hard to beat this, I don't want to be sat there in another 5.. my baby deserves more than this.
Please, anyone suffering reach out for help, health anxiety will completely take over who you are, and never underestimate the power of anxiety and it's physical manifestations.
Positive thoughts to you all :hugs:
I'm in a terrible place with it at the moment, I recognise it, that's the thing, I absolutely know my anxiety is out of control yet I still struggle to stop it. Never underestimate what having chronic anxiety can do. This may not be the place to say this so apologies if this triggers, but the only thing making me Ill and effecting my body is constant anxiety! A negative mind and stress. That's it simple. I blame stress & anxiety for my TMJ problems, back & muscle problems, sleep issues and more. It is the most difficult cycle to break. While you may have actual health problems nothing and i mean NOTHING will improve unless your anxiety does. An anxious body cannot function as well as a relaxed body can. Your body is an amazing thing and is constantly working to look after itself, HELP it do that.
I know how convinced we are, I know how terrified we are of dying, I understand it all and have been to horrific places with health anxiety, and some quite frankly disturbing times. I can laugh at myself though, In hindsight, like yesterday I convinced myself I was going to have a stroke that's my latest concern, and I talk my mind into believing that it's logical, well my grandad had one early that must count for something, I smoked a long time, I'm always stressed, and i look like someone who will.. yes i actually told myself I LOOK like someone who will, how ridiculous is that.
Stood in my kitchen before sterilising my babies bottles, one side of my face had felt funny all day, a strange pressure near the eye and cheek bone, this has happened numerous times in the past and I've always freaked out, I told myself it waa the start of a stroke or that i was going to become paralysed, I was touching my face all over and pulling faces to make sure it was working ok. I then picked up a fork and pressed it on both sides of my face to test whether the coldness felt the same, and then I closed my eyes and used the fork to gently stab my eyes and face to see if i could feel it all over..
YES imagine that, a fully grown woman, a mother, stood in the kitchen stabbing her face with a fork !!!
It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad, this has been my life for so so long, and it's robbing me of my precious moments, sat on my bed last night crying, remembering being sat here 5 years ago trying so hard to beat this, I don't want to be sat there in another 5.. my baby deserves more than this.
Please, anyone suffering reach out for help, health anxiety will completely take over who you are, and never underestimate the power of anxiety and it's physical manifestations.
Positive thoughts to you all :hugs: