Travel Anxiety

[KristyDot]

Since my daughters birth 15months ago, I have this paranoid feeling of getting into a car wreck or plane crash. Opportunities come up to travel and I plan every time but tend to cancel the closer it gets because of the overwhelming anxiety and worry. I worry that my daughter will get hurt and if she isn’t with me I worry myself and/or my husband will die, leaving my daughter without parents. Does anyone have thoughts on how to overcome anxiety while traveling? Or tips on what to do while I’m traveling?

[fishman65]

Hi KristyDot, having a child isn't always easy is it. I'm a father to three children, two step but the third is my biological daughter, she's 19 now. While becoming a father is one of the best feelings in the world, it can be quite overwhelming and you as a mother have probably felt something similar at times.

Is the anxiety you have confined to travelling or does it manifest in other areas of your life? Try to remember that feeling afraid for the safety of your daughter is quite natural and I think this is where the triggers for your anxiety originate rather than the act of travelling itself. Have a look at some of the CBT threads on this site, CBT can challenge your thought processes that give rise to the anxiety. In the meantime, know that you're not alone when getting anxious about your daughter's safety. I worry about mine and as I mentioned, she's 19 and an adult. At least that's what she tells me :shades:

[Tyke]

Hi KristyDot

Welcome to parenthood! Unfortunately these worries are unavoidable, but you can find ways to help deal with it. Personally I can't fly at all, so that means nobody else in the family does and yes, I do feel bad about that, but what you have to think about is how safe air travel actually is. The trouble with air travel is any one disaster is mainstream news for a long time, whereas people perish on the roads in far greater numbers all the time.

Road travel is pretty unavoidable these days though, but there are some things that you can do. We avoid notorious or troublesome roads and tend to avoid night time driving when it's dark and drunk drivers are around. There are some awful roads and road junctions that we detour miles around to avoid. Ridiculous and extreme measures to some, but if it helps and works for you, that's all that matters.

It may sound a bit grim but we also discussed 'worst case scenario' plans for what would happen if we perished and some or all of the kids survived. If you have a plan in place for who would actually care for your child (grandparents, siblings etc.) and wills written for expressing your last wishes, it may help you feel you've done all you can. As Fishman65 says, CBT or some other kind of therapy may be of help. As a father of similar age children to Fishman65, I can well relate to his comments worrying about his daughters safety even though she's now an adult! You will always feel that sense of responsibility for their wellbeing.

[edgeofpanic]

So my advice fwiw would be to try and look past the day of travel. Get some photos of where you're going and imagine yourself there enjoying the sun or on a beach with your little one. Also trust me, if you're on a plane with a 15 month old, the last thing on your mind might end up being your fear of flying, you might even find you forget all about it as you try to keep your child amused on the plane! That alone can be a challenge (and a welcome distraction, thats why I point it out)

I dont really like flying but have had to do several flights of around 10-11 hours in the past few years just to do with my work. I've hit turbulence where the air stewards on the plane have gone and strapped themselves in, its was super scary but we got through it. I have 4 children the youngest being 9 now but the point is these things do go through your mind. You worry about all sorts but in the end try to focus on the next day or look for a distraction. In that scenario deep breathing really helped, so simple but it worked for me.

So, distraction, focusing elsewhere, and deep breathing in addition to all the other advice above by our fellow NMP posters willl help you.

You can do it! Get on that plane and make some great memories for you, your family and that kid!

[Bryan]

I think, Working through the material is a pledge to changing your life, and you can't do it by remaining inside and wanting to be on a plane. Beating this issue takes work — diligent work — and now and again.