Dont trust a family member

[KatiePink]

I've gotten myself into a bit of a situation that's causing me anxiety. Basically my partner's aunt, who we aren't really close with except family occasions holidays ect recently invited me out for lunch with the baby. I get on with her and think she's a lovely woman, she mentioned that she is happy to have baby if I ever need a break.
We needed a babysitter for a recent funeral and i declined her offer as my sister offered, now she has asked again if she may have baby as she would love to take her to visit the wider family.

The problem is i don't trust her husband. When I say I don't trust him I don't exactly know what I mean, I just do not like him and he has always made me feel very uneasy, there's something about him. My partner doesn't know any of this and last night asked why I haven't got back to her(his aunt) about having baby. I said I forgot & I will do. I dont know what to say, but every bit of me doesn't want her staying in that house. How do i go about this without sounding crazy or am i crazy? Advice please

[Catherine S]

Hi Katie, no I don't think you're being crazy at all...a mother's instinct is quite powerful, developed to protect our children. If your instinct is telling you not to leave your little girl with this man i'd say go with your feelings and not the feelings of others. If, as you say, the aunt isn't somebody who is part of your closer circle then I'm sure your OH will understand and accept your feelings about this.

Cath x

[KatiePink]

Hi Katie, no I don't think you're being crazy at all...a mother's instinct is quite powerful, developed to protect our children. If your instinct is telling you not to leave your little girl with this man i'd say go with your feelings and not the feelings of others. If, as you say, the aunt isn't somebody who is part of your closer circle then I'm sure your OH will understand and accept your feelings about this.

Cath x

Hi Cath thanks for responding, I think you're right I will have a word with my partner later, hopefully he will understand. I was close to just saying yes, but the bad feeling I get is really overwhelming. I know it's not separation anxiety, because she has been out with others.
My partner will probably ask why ive never mentioned anything previously, and to be honest I dont really know, it just wasn't relevant.
Hope you're doing ok Cath x

[Noivous]

I don't know anything about either of these people - your aunt and uncle - but I find it a little weird that an aunt you seldom see wants to take your kid to see the wider family and have a sleep over.

---------- Post added at 08:58 ---------- Previous post was at 08:55 ----------

As far as saying no. Tell your boyfriend and just keep putting auntie off till it firs out. You could just tell he no and why but that might send off shock waves in the family causing a bit of a rift I imagine.

[WiseMonkey]

Hi Katie, no I don't think you're being crazy at all...a mother's instinct is quite powerful, developed to protect our children. If your instinct is telling you not to leave your little girl with this man i'd say go with your feelings and not the feelings of others. If, as you say, the aunt isn't somebody who is part of your closer circle then I'm sure your OH will understand and accept your feelings about this.

Cath x

Yes, trust your instincts, better safe than sorry. There's no harm in telling your partner your thoughts/fears as it's best to be honest. If he respects and understands you he should wants what's best for you and your child.

Stick to your guns. Take care :)

[KatiePink]

Thanks everyone I spoke to my partner and he completely understood & basically if that's how I feel then so be it, we're just putting them off now but i do feel bad about it. Because it's all based on a gut feeling really, which could be completely wrong but I know would never settle knowing she's there when I feel like this!

[Catherine S]

Hi Katie, glad you got it sorted out and your OH understands. I'm good thank you for asking, just got back from a weekend visiting my daughter so apologies for late reply.

Take care
Cath ☺ x

[swajj]

You shouldn’t feel guilty at all. You don’t need to justify why you don’t want someone taking your baby somewhere. Perhaps the only person who has any right to expect you to allow them to take the baby somewhere without you is your partner. And that still depends on what your partner is like and where he wants to take the baby. I have 3 children and when they were babies the only people I trusted to take them anywhere were my mother and my partner. One of my father-in-laws (first one) was a drinker who turned mean when he drank. He never got near any of my children unless my partner or myself were present. So just say no. End of.