View Full Version : Terrified—please don’t read if you’re triggered easily
I’ve had a bad 7 months of HA and I have come to question and examine every part of me lately. So I noticed a couple months ago that my left forearm looked slightly larger than my right forearm and I’m not right handed. I went to an orthopedic doctor who looked at it for 2 seconds and said that it’s just muscle. Then I brought it up to a doctor at my GP’s office. He felt it and then did an ultrasound. He showed it to me on ultrasound and I asked what it was and he said it’s like a lipoma. Well I asked him if he could remove it because it bothers me and he said he’s 99.9% sure it’s harmless and it’s not a sarcoma. I asked him again to remove it but he said “it’s not going to be a quick procedure because it’s deep.” So then I asked him more about it, like is it encapsulated then? And he says like the little tiny lumps of fat in my arm, it’s a collection of those.
Well I’m freaking out for a few reasons. One—he showed me on ultrasound but you could barely make it out so how could you even tell if it has irregular/suspicious borders?! Two—I read on here (thanks NMP 🙄) about liposarcomas and how they are deeper. My last lipoma I got removed was just below my skin! This is not! I am terrified that this is a liposarcoma!!! Three—why the HELL do I keep growing these weird things?!??? What is wrong with me?!?? I am only 29 and I’m so terrified that I have had a fibroadenoma (benign) removed from my breast 8 years ago, a tiny lipoma removed from my lower abdomen, and now whatever the hell this is!!! Why do I keep growing weird things??? And I’m not sure what to make of his description of it...he said a lipoma at first but then later said there’s NOT a capsule around it but it’s a collection of fat deep in my arm??? He gave me a MRI referral when I asked. I’m sooo soooo terrified and I hate this 😭😭😭
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Also I saw a website say that they usually occurred in the trunk and legs and shoulder but didn’t say anything about ARMS??? ������
AMomentofClarity
25-04-18, 19:49
Honest opinion.....
you’re not “growing” anything more than anybody else. You’re just finding things that most people don’t notice because you’re engaging in activities like comparing the size of your forearms. Stop searching yourself for issues, you won’t notice as much, and you’ll worry a lot less. Win-win-win
Honest opinion.....
you’re not “growing” anything more than anybody else. You’re just finding things that most people don’t notice because you’re engaging in activities like comparing the size of your forearms. Stop searching yourself for issues, you won’t notice as much, and you’ll worry a lot less. Win-win-win
Okay I can acknowledge that you are correct about me searching myself. That doesn’t make this any less scary in the moment..,
AMomentofClarity
25-04-18, 20:15
I encourage you to look back at your post history. I bet every one of those fears was “scary” in the moment too. And how many turned out to be what you’re afraid of?
Me and 100 others could respond to this post with all the reassurance in the world, but it’s not going to change anything. Either it won’t be enough or you will be back next week with a new fear. Your best bet is to break the cycle/addiction of finding things to worry about, seeking reassurance, repeat. The only way to do that is treat the anxiety.
Frankly I don't see what's triggering here. It's just a normal several doctors aren't worried but I read that thread :shrug:
Moment of Clarity is correct. Treat the illness you do have and you treat the symptoms and behaviors associated with it.
Positive thoughts
I would advise you to stop spending money on having unnecessary investigations for non-conditions and to put it towards treatment for your HA instead.
I would advise you to stop spending money on having unnecessary investigations for non-conditions and to put it towards treatment for your HA instead.
How is finding this bump/lipoma/whatever it is a non-condition? I have had 3 benign lumps in me in the past 8 years and no one I know has had these issues 😭
They are just fatty lumps with no pathology.
AMomentofClarity
25-04-18, 21:25
no one I know has had these issues ��
Again, because most people A) aren’t searching themselves B) Don’t worry about it if they happen to find something and C)If they do get it checked out, they believe their doctor when he says it’s benign.
You’re having these “issues” because you’re seeking them out and creating a big deal of them.
I have had 3 benign lumps in me in the past 8 years and no one I know has had these issuesHI , meet me, I have had what you are describing. Over my adult lifetime I've had a significant lipomas come up ; one removed from my shoulder (under bra strap, was rubbing and problematic), one on my back (which after 10 years I proudly got rid of by daily squishing and massaging it - as had heard that the body can reabsorb them if they break up), and I have a really large one on my trunk (under bra line) which I've left and can't be bothered with. The doctors can tell what it is, fatty tissue, really easily as it shows in a very specific way on ultrasound.I had the GP look about 10 years ago at the one on my trunk, she said that fatty tissue had a very obvious granulated 'sparkle' to it. Never asked again, believed her, no other tests.
I also seem to develop small ones from injuries. I.e. I have one where blood was taken from my arm vein, I have a number of small ones that have developed from bad insect bites on my legs and arms. So, yes, some people are prone to lipomas. Incidentally.....if anyone is thinking I look like some sort of toad....(my description may have made it sound that way!)...you wouldn't notice them if you saw me. :roflmao:
How is finding this bump/lipoma/whatever it is a non-condition? I have had 3 benign lumps in me in the past 8 years and no one I know has had these issues 😭
It is a non-condition! We're not made of porcelain. I had a lipoma on the small of my back for 20 years. I finally had it removed because it was in a bad spot and grew causing chronic discomfort. Guess what? It was exactly what they said it was and the size of a small egg. I have a few more on me too... no biggie :shrug:
So yeah... it's a non-issue and you'll have to live with it unless you're uber rich and like to have unnecessary surgeries.
Positive thoughts
I appreciate all your responses...it’s freaking me out because the last lipoma I had removed was smaller and it was just under the skin, which i had already read that’s how lipomas are. THIS thing though is deeper and I’m scared...
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They are just fatty lumps with no pathology.
But they’re growths aren’t they? That scares me even if he is right, that it’s a lipoma. Because I am scared that that makes me more likely to develop cancer...
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Again, because most people A) aren’t searching themselves B) Don’t worry about it if they happen to find something and C)If they do get it checked out, they believe their doctor when he says it’s benign.
You’re having these “issues” because you’re seeking them out and creating a big deal of them.
I can’t deny anything you’re saying. I know I have severe anxiety. I have an appt next week to get on medication because I clearly can’t do it with just therapy. I wish I could just stop being terrified.
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HI , meet me, I have had what you are describing. Over my adult lifetime I've had a significant lipomas come up ; one removed from my shoulder (under bra strap, was rubbing and problematic), one on my back (which after 10 years I proudly got rid of by daily squishing and massaging it - as had heard that the body can reabsorb them if they break up), and I have a really large one on my trunk (under bra line) which I've left and can't be bothered with. The doctors can tell what it is, fatty tissue, really easily as it shows in a very specific way on ultrasound.I had the GP look about 10 years ago at the one on my trunk, she said that fatty tissue had a very obvious granulated 'sparkle' to it. Never asked again, believed her, no other tests.
I also seem to develop small ones from injuries. I.e. I have one where blood was taken from my arm vein, I have a number of small ones that have developed from bad insect bites on my legs and arms. So, yes, some people are prone to lipomas. Incidentally.....if anyone is thinking I look like some sort of toad....(my description may have made it sound that way!)...you wouldn't notice them if you saw me. :roflmao:
Carys, thank you for sharing your story. I am worried about this one because it’s different from the other lipoma I got removed. My other lipoma was just under the skin, but this one is deeper and thanks to my NMP post reading in the past as well as past googling I know way too much about the possibilities and they scare me. 😭
The force is strong in this one Obi Wan :lac:
https://media.giphy.com/media/l1Ku2UzLA5v7NhB28/giphy.gif
FMP
Again, because most people A) aren’t searching themselves B) Don’t worry about it if they happen to find something and C)If they do get it checked out, they believe their doctor when he says it’s benign.
You’re having these “issues” because you’re seeking them out and creating a big deal of them.
Are you also basically saying that these lipomas might be much more common than I think, it’s just that most people don’t notice or care?
Are you also basically saying that these lipomas might be much more common than I think, it’s just that most people don’t notice or care?
That's what he's saying and I'm saying too! :winks:
FMP
AMomentofClarity
25-04-18, 22:13
Are you also basically saying that these lipomas might be much more common than I think, it’s just that most people don’t notice or care?
Yes exactly! I could do a full body search right now and find god knows what...lipomas, lymphnodes, lumps, bumps, painful spots, etc. And I could Google every one of them and get myself convinced that I have 13 different types of cancer because of it.
But, I won’t do that because I know from experience it’s a terrible idea. And that’s how most people operate. It’s just the twisted HA mind that decides convincing yourself of your imminent death is a good way to pass time.
I am worried about this one because it’s different from the other lipoma I got removed. My other lipoma was just under the skin, but this one is deeper
Well, you've asked for another test haven't you - as you are unconvinced - so that should put it to rest. How much deeper is deeper ? Lipomas are classified as subcutaneous and something called 'deep seated' . Here's some information for you...
Deep-seated soft-tissue lipomas are less common than superficial lipomas [6 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3259409/#CR6)] and may be located above muscle (supramuscular), between muscle (intermuscular), within muscle (intramuscular) or below muscle (submuscular). Lipomas occurring within nerves or tendons sheaths or bone are generally considered as distinct, separate entities. Deep-seated lipomas usually occur in the extremities and do not have as characteristic a clinical presentation as subcutaneous lipomas. They tend to be firmer in consistency, less well-defined and often mimic a sarcoma [7 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3259409/#CR7), 8 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3259409/#CR8)]. The ultrasound features of deep-seated lipomas have been noted in case reports and or grouped together with superficial lipomas [9 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3259409/#CR9)]. A specific comprehensive description of the ultrasound features of deep-seated lipomas has not been reported. We believe that certain ultrasound features of subfascial lipomas are constant and quite characteristic. Knowledge of these characteristic ultrasound features would facilitate early recognition of deep-seated lipomas and expedite investigation.
So, if the person doing your ultrasound had recognition of the features of deep-seated lipomas - which it certainly sounds like they did as were quite sure - then..........all is well. :winks:
That's what he's saying and I'm saying too! :winks:
FMP
Well hopefully with medication and continued therapy I can be more like a normal person and have normal reactions to things. I’m getting a MRI on it and will update this thread...
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Yes exactly! I could do a full body search right now and find god knows what...lipomas, lymphnodes, lumps, bumps, painful spots, etc. And I could Google every one of them and get myself convinced that I have 13 different types of cancer because of it.
But, I won’t do that because I know from experience it’s a terrible idea. And that’s how most people operate. It’s just the twisted HA mind that decides convincing yourself of your imminent death is a good way to pass time.
Your last sentence is exactly how I’d describe HA. And yes I’m in what I feel like is an unbreakable cycle of checking my body to the point of digging for shit and I scare myself every time. I don’t have to dig much for the lipoma, I just noticed my forearm looked bigger and I was like huh how long has it been like that or have I been somehow favoring my left arm since I injured my right shoulder? But that isn’t the case and there’s a stupid lipoma there or whatever it is. Thanks body for continuing to scare the shit out of me 🤦🏼*♀️ I know I need to change my mindset though and stop searching for stuff...digging is a terrible idea because I think anyone would find lumps and bumps if they dug through their skin.
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Well, you've asked for another test haven't you - as you are unconvinced - so that should put it to rest. How much deeper is deeper ? Lipomas are classified as subcutaneous and something called 'deep seated' . Here's some information for you...
So, if the person doing your ultrasound had recognition of the features of deep-seated lipomas - which it certainly sounds like they did as were quite sure - then..........all is well. :winks:
Yes he was extremely sure. He even chuckled when I asked if it was a sarcoma. I asked him how he could tell and he just said it doesn’t feel like muscle??? I’m not sure what he means by that since sarcomas shouldn’t feel like muscle either...I don’t think... Idk the language barrier here can be a challenge.
Anyway he said he’s 99.9% certain it’s harmless and he even seemed to try to dissuade me from pursuing a MRI because they’re expensive.
I have three of them, one on my shin I have had since I was about 17. That was 30 years ago. They are so common as to be virtually ubiquitous on almost all people. I don't know anyone my age, honestly, who doesn't have one. It's just part of growing older, and has as much to do with whether you will have cancer at some point as what your favorite pizza toppings are.
Doctors see many patients every day. Hundreds of patients every week. Taken over the average career span, I bet your doctor sees hundreds of cancers, maybe thousands. Try to have some trust in a physician who seems to think you do NOT have a sarcoma, as he has probably seen them dozens, maybe hundreds of times. If he thought the MRI was unnecessary, it probably was. No doctor would send you out the door without testing you might need for something serious.
You are doing the right thing, acknowledging and treating the HA. The truth is, we all get sick, and sometimes we get something serious thrown our way. It happened to me last year. It allowed me to put something into perspective, I had wasted a lot of time worrying about things that were never there, never real. I vowed to never do it again. As I deal with the health issue I actually *do* have, I have become much better at not fearing the things I don't. And oddly, that has helped me overcome a lot of my HA, to the point where I am not even worried about the thing I am actually diagnosed with.
In the end, we waste so much time being afraid, at the risk of sounding cliche, we fail to really actually live.
You were given all sorts of all-clears with your limpoma, try to hang on to it and learn to quite hunting dragons that are not there and get the help you need with your HA.
So you've even got the doctor trying to persuade you not to buy an MRI? Because you are "buying" unnecessary health tests here and a responsible doctor would point this out (which he has). What reassurance would an MRI give you? 100% or grudging acceptance before the next "finding"?
So I got a MRI really quickly...I’m getting it tomorrow! I’m so nervous ☹️
Did you see the information I posted about Deep-seated lipomas ?
Did you see the information I posted about Deep-seated lipomas ?
Yes I did Carys! I thought I responded to you about it but maybe I forgot, I’m sorry ☹️ Thank you so much for that information. I am glad I don’t have wonder for very long about what this is but I am still very very scared ☹️
Well, lets be honest, most people would have taken the word of the doctor - that it was a deep lipoma and not be having the MRI at all. So, their anxiety would have ended before today. :winks: So, the fact that you are very very scared.....is because you don't believe the doctor. Sorry, that sounds really harsh, I dont mean it to...but you know what I mean.
MyNameIsTerry
26-04-18, 16:36
Are you also basically saying that these lipomas might be much more common than I think, it’s just that most people don’t notice or care?
I'm not a HAer, I've got lumps that don't go, moles that change, and many symptoms over the last 11 years that I see HAers post about. I couldn't care less. Of course any symptoms with my anxiety are very unpleasant and have bothered me greatly but the difference is my mind doesn't care about them being some horrible illness.
Like others on here, my dad has had a lump on his back for years. It's just a pain because it rubs, that's all. Again, no HAer and actually not an anxiety disorder sufferer either.
People may question what something is. They may visit a GP. They may even question whether the GP is right and seek another opinion. They won't be on here terrified, they will be just getting on with their day. They won't assume the worst and impact their mental health.
Chasing tests will just reinforce the importance of your fear to your subconscious. If a doctor doesn't think it's needed, what evidence do you have to override his/her expert advice? If you perceived your car had a problem woukd your subconscious "I have this nagging doubt" thoughts overrule all the testing they did that came back with nothing?
---------- Post added at 16:36 ---------- Previous post was at 16:32 ----------
Incidentally.....if anyone is thinking I look like some sort of toad....(my description may have made it sound that way!)...you wouldn't notice them if you saw me. :roflmao:
Bud. Wei. Ser.
http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/frog/t157093.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-frog.php?page=4)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/frog/t157109.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-frog.php?page=5)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/frog/t157186.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-frog.php?page=8)
:roflmao:
Were THREE toad pictures necessary Terry ? Huuh, were they ? :roflmao:(Actually, I think 2 are frogs anyway :D)
Yes I did Carys! I thought I responded to you about it but maybe I forgot, I’m sorry ☹️ Thank you so much for that information. I am glad I don’t have wonder for very long about what this is but I am still very very scared ☹️
You don't have to wonder at all what this is because you've already been told..categorically...by the doctor.
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Were THREE toad pictures necessary Terry ? Huuh, were they ? :roflmao:(Actually, I think 2 are frogs anyway :D)
Don't mess with Carys, Terry-she's an expert on amphibians!
Ribbit! Ribbit!
MyNameIsTerry
26-04-18, 17:25
Were THREE toad pictures necessary Terry ? Huuh, were they ? :roflmao:(Actually, I think 2 are frogs anyway :D)
I had more, I couldn't decide which to use :biggrin:
You have to have 3, one for each syllable :yesyes:
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Don't mess with Carys, Terry-she's an expert on amphibians!
Ribbit! Ribbit!
I wouldn't dream of messing with her in her home pond :biggrin:
Well, lets be honest, most people would have taken the word of the doctor - that it was a deep lipoma and not be having the MRI at all. So, their anxiety would have ended before today. :winks: So, the fact that you are very very scared.....is because you don't believe the doctor. Sorry, that sounds really harsh, I dont mean it to...but you know what I mean.
It’s not harsh. I admit that I have a lot of trouble trusting doctors.
I should add to this...another doctor at the practice felt it and said that he doesn’t think it’s a lipoma or a mass at all, he thinks it’s a ganglion, which he said is thickening of tendons or something? I don’t know what that is, I haven’t googled because I don’t want to somehow scare myself.
But 1) I’m not even sure he felt the correct spot (this is not just my anxiety talking)
2) he recommended the MRI so that we can see better what’s going on...?
3) I asked if it was a sarcoma and he said no.
And I believe he said it’s nothing dangerous.
But I guess this all doesn’t matter since I’ll know tomorrow. Just trying to sort through my thoughts so I can at least sleep tonight.
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I'm not a HAer, I've got lumps that don't go, moles that change, and many symptoms over the last 11 years that I see HAers post about. I couldn't care less. Of course any symptoms with my anxiety are very unpleasant and have bothered me greatly but the difference is my mind doesn't care about them being some horrible illness.
Like others on here, my dad has had a lump on his back for years. It's just a pain because it rubs, that's all. Again, no HAer and actually not an anxiety disorder sufferer either.
People may question what something is. They may visit a GP. They may even question whether the GP is right and seek another opinion. They won't be on here terrified, they will be just getting on with their day. They won't assume the worst and impact their mental health.
Chasing tests will just reinforce the importance of your fear to your subconscious. If a doctor doesn't think it's needed, what evidence do you have to override his/her expert advice? If you perceived your car had a problem woukd your subconscious "I have this nagging doubt" thoughts overrule all the testing they did that came back with nothing?
---------- Post added at 16:36 ---------- Previous post was at 16:32 ----------
Bud. Wei. Ser.
http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/frog/t157093.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-frog.php?page=4)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/frog/t157109.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-frog.php?page=5)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/frog/t157186.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-frog.php?page=8)
:roflmao:
I envy you, I truly do. I don’t want to worry about this stuff because it completely steals my joy. You’re right most people wouldn’t assume the worst but that is my modus operandi. My mind immediately jumps to the worst possible case and I can’t live like this anymore. Hence why I’m getting on medication. And I’m hoping to find better tools to effectively deal with my anxiety outside of just medication...
A ganglion is a benign cyst.
Anyhow, you will know tomorrow, and I hope that your fears aren't founded and you can move on finally reassured. Let us know either way :D
I understand you are really struggling here but whether you have a ganglion or a lipoma or a cyst....it's not a threat to your physical health. Continuing to chase a variety of diagnoses and being allowed to buy expensive tests for non-conditions will severely affect your mental health though.
Oh and YES I do know my amphibians Terry, so pick your images wisely :winks:
I understand you are really struggling here but whether you have a ganglion or a lipoma or a cyst....it's not a threat to your physical health. Continuing to chase a variety of diagnoses and being allowed to buy expensive tests for non-conditions will severely affect your mental health though.
Yes I know you’re right...my anxiety always is at peak levels before scans and before doctors appts.
Yes I know you’re right...my anxiety always is at peak levels before scans and before doctors appts.
So I suppose you need to ask yourself why do you continue to torment yourself searching for something to worry about, health-wise?
So I suppose you need to ask yourself why do you continue to torment yourself searching for something to worry about, health-wise?
Yes that is an accurate way of describing what I’m doing, of course the fear and compulsion to find things and rush to the doctor are on more of a subconscious level for me right now. I’m digger deeper into that question because I know it has to do with my belief system. But torment, yes, that’s exactly what it feels like.
MyNameIsTerry
27-04-18, 01:38
Oh and YES I do know my amphibians Terry, so pick your images wisely :winks:
Yes boss :whiplash::D
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I envy you, I truly do. I don’t want to worry about this stuff because it completely steals my joy. You’re right most people wouldn’t assume the worst but that is my modus operandi. My mind immediately jumps to the worst possible case and I can’t live like this anymore. Hence why I’m getting on medication. And I’m hoping to find better tools to effectively deal with my anxiety outside of just medication...
The grass is always greener as the saying goes, you wouldn't want my anxiety and I wouldn't want yours.
Medication can help, it can take the edge off, but ultimately this is also about negative thinking, reactions, etc. Look at your compulsions as they will only reinforce your obsessions and compulsions can be very subtle, you may not always realise them, hence it's important to read about them from a professional source. Look at how to change your reaction from the emotional negatives to one of positive/negative (whether that's through something like CBT, acceptance routes, Mindfulness, etc) as these just signal back to the subconscious that the issue is important to you whereas removing that negative reaction starves the cycle over time. And learn about Cognitive Distortions, they are key to your negative thinking.
You guys...I had the MRI and the radiologist said that there is NOTHING in my arm—no cysts, tumors, or anything, and he didn’t say anything about a lipoma either. I told him that the doctor said that he could see something like a lipoma on ultrasound but the radiologist said that you can only see 1-2 cm deep with ultrasound and it’s difficult to tell. So that must mean that there isn’t actually a lipoma there. An MRI could see that right?
AMomentofClarity
27-04-18, 16:33
You guys...I had the MRI and the radiologist said that there is NOTHING in my arm—no cysts, tumors, or anything, and he didn’t say anything about a lipoma either. I told him that the doctor said that he could see something like a lipoma on ultrasound but the radiologist said that you can only see 1-2 cm deep with ultrasound and it’s difficult to tell. So that must mean that there isn’t actually a lipoma there. An MRI could see that right?
An MRI is the gold standard in medical imaging. If there's something there, they would see it. No sense is chasing tests around if you're not going to believe them.
So the bottom line after all this is that one forearm is slightly larger than the other and it's normal human asymmetry :shrug:
Positive thoughts
So I know this is classic HA here, but I have a lingering worry. Why did the first doctor claim he saw something like a lipoma on the ultrasound and then proceeded to show me and circle it on ultrasound (although it all looked the same as everything around it to me, like muscle or fat, didn’t look like a Circle at all)? And then the MRI doesn’t find anything? Both the 2nd doctor and the radiologist said that it’s harder to see all that on ultrasound. And the radiologist said was that I had some more subcutaneous fat on my arm but said nothing about lipomas. I just don’t understand. I know the MRI is the gold standard but the discrepancy is just making me wonder.
Wonder what? What the first doctor "saw"? Why the MRI didn't pick up what the first doctor "saw" Whether anything crucial/sinister has been missed on the MRI?
The dangers of unnecessary testing not based on clinical need with untreated HA allowed to run rampant by doctors keen to take your money.
It’s not that I think the MRI missed something sinister or crucial. I am just wondering if the MRI missed the alleged lipoma that this doctor said he saw. Which just confuses me.
AMomentofClarity
27-04-18, 21:00
It’s not that I think the MRI missed something sinister or crucial. I am just wondering if the MRI missed the alleged lipoma that this doctor said he saw. Which just confuses me.
In other words, no matter how much testing you get, you're going to find something to worry about.
In other words, no matter how much testing you get, you're going to find something to worry about.
That’s probably true. But basically I am just confused. Wouldn’t the MRI show a lipoma?? That’s a lot more thorough than ultrasound...?
AMomentofClarity
27-04-18, 21:10
That’s probably true. But basically I am just confused. Wouldn’t the MRI show a lipoma?? That’s a lot more thorough than ultrasound...?
The real question is WHO CARES?!?!
If it was a lipoma, its a completely benign condition anyway. But even better, its not, there's nothing there.
Clearly the doctor who did the US thought he saw something that an MRI proved to be a false positive. But either way, it doesn't matter!
Do you see the absurdity here? You're worrying yourself into a frenzy over whether or not the "issue" (please notice the "") is absolutely nothing or a completely and normal harmless, benign condition.
MyNameIsTerry
28-04-18, 01:50
You guys...I had the MRI and the radiologist said that there is NOTHING in my arm—no cysts, tumors, or anything, and he didn’t say anything about a lipoma either. I told him that the doctor said that he could see something like a lipoma on ultrasound but the radiologist said that you can only see 1-2 cm deep with ultrasound and it’s difficult to tell. So that must mean that there isn’t actually a lipoma there. An MRI could see that right?
Look at it this way. Example.
1. You see your GP who "thinks" they may have spotted something. He refers you to a specialist.
2. Specialist says there is nothing there.
Who do you believe? The higher trained specialist or the GP without specialist knowledge of it?
No consider what the radiologist has said. They are trained to do a lot more than operate a machine and doctors get reports off them because they are experts at looking for things on the tests they do.
So...
1. Had test that indicated there is something to look into.
2. Had more advanced specialist test aimed at spotting the possible indicated issue to find there is nothing.
Which would you trust?
Here's what I don't get about this type of thread, and excuse me for using you/yours as an example CG: people come on with queries and questions, after seeing doctors/specialists or having tests/results/scans etc that we don't have a chance in hope of knowing an answer to. However, the doctor/specialist IS able to provide an answer. Why do people not actually ask those who would be able to answer?
By this I mean - say to the radiographer (or whoever checked your MRI), but I was told there was a lipoma in my 'x'...why isn't it showing? Let the experts explain and tell you the reasons. If you don't ask those experts, then you certainly won't find the answer here.
itoldyouiwasill
28-04-18, 13:52
Here's what I don't get about this type of thread, and excuse me for using you/yours as an example CG: people come on with queries and questions, after seeing doctors/specialists or having tests/results/scans etc that we don't have a chance in hope of knowing an answer to. However, the doctor/specialist IS able to provide an answer. Why do people not actually ask those who would be able to answer?
By this I mean - say to the radiographer (or whoever checked your MRI), but I was told there was a lipoma in my 'x'...why isn't it showing? Let the experts explain and tell you the reasons. If you don't ask those experts, then you certainly won't find the answer here.
Because that would be the rational, logical and sensible thing to do but of course health anxiety doesn’t operate within those parameters.
I think when most HA folk have consultations and procedures they are in a heightened state of anxiety and don’t really take in facts. They may well be preoccupied with interpreting what is being said to them in a totally different manner or studying the face of the radiographer for signs that they have spotted something sinister...there is no logical though going on, it’s a heightened emotional process. I suffered from this badly and in the end would never go to a medical consultation on my own, my wife had to come with me every time so she could listen objectively and then address my inevitable concerns and doubts that arose after the consultation when all the 1001 questions I felt I should have asked flooded into my mind. I think these doubts and concerns are pretty much inevitable if you are deep down the health anxiety rabbit hole as it thrives on ifs, buts and maybes and they can still exist regardless of diagnosis. It all comes down to accepting and sitting with uncertainty and accepting when the percentages are in your favour and allowing that to be enough.
....but I kind of get some of that....but surely if you are told something, a fact, you ask some questions?
There are no uncertainties about NOT having a lipoma though.
This is true - UNLESS you are convinced that the first doctor DID see something and now the second person has missed it. :winks:
The second person is an MRI machine though!:D
itoldyouiwasill
28-04-18, 20:02
There are no uncertainties about NOT having a lipoma though.
One of the key factors that triggered my health anxiety was my mother’s incorrect diagnosis. Because that happened to her I lost literally all faith in GP’s and the like. Uncertainty comes in degrees. I’ve known of individuals who are convinced that their scans have been mixed up with other people’s or that if the scan was minus contrast it can miss abnormalities...the list can go on and on if you are deep enough in the loop.
One of the key factors that triggered my health anxiety was my mother’s incorrect diagnosis. Because that happened to her I lost literally all faith in GP’s and the like. Uncertainty comes in degrees. I’ve known of individuals who are convinced that their scans have been mixed up with other people’s or that if the scan was minus contrast it can miss abnormalities...the list can go on and on if you are deep enough in the loop.
Do people with severe HA accept bad results though?
itoldyouiwasill
28-04-18, 20:17
Do people with severe HA accept bad results though?
I touched on this earlier when somebody was talking about how they perceived how they would handle bad news and how it would make their health anxiety worse and more ingrained. From my experience the vast majority of HA folk who did actually get a chronic/life altering illness found it totally changed their perspective for the better and actually highlighted they had the strength and ability to handle things. From my own experience I can confirm that.
Edit. If by ‘accept’ you meant acccept the validity of the result I think generally they do. Inside every HA sufferer is that perverse feeling of wanting to be proved right all long. It’s the I told you I was Ill syndrome.
Inside every HA sufferer is that perverse feeling of wanting to be proved right all long. It’s the I told you I was Ill syndrome. Not inside me. I disagree with this as a generalisation. I want to prove that I'm not/wasn't ill. I have a fear of serious illness, yes (don't we all), but I certainly don't want it and carry on with some things for many years before seeking assistance. I turn down scans/tests and always go to the most likely scenario and most benign one. I see a GP maybe once a year, usually much less.
I didn't accept my results when I had a serious diagnosis, I was convinced that the results must have been mixed up with somebody elses' - I even said this to the surgeon and googled online the likelihood that biopsys got mixed up and people treated when they shouldn't have been. I had convinced myself it was something benign, and I was so entirely convinced that it took persuading that it wasn't. My HA isn't/wasn't like many people here though - I detest seeing medics, I don't want to visit a doctor and am very good at my own reassurance. I can reassure myself consistently even when I SHOULD be seeking medical help. Part of this comes from a 'head in the sand' type HA, where you can retain blissful ignorance as long as you don't start seeing medics.
I do however agree with you about how having a serious illness changes your thought processes. It does change many for the better, and makes you focus on life and living in a way you perhaps didn't before.
itoldyouiwasill
28-04-18, 20:38
Not inside me. I disagree with this as a generalisation. I want to prove that I'm not/wasn't ill. I have a fear of serious illness, yes (don't we all), but I certainly don't want it and carry on with some things for many years before seeking assistance. I turn down scans/tests and always go to the most likely scenario and most benign one. I see a GP maybe once a year, usually much less.
I didn't accept my results when I had a serious diagnosis, I was convinced that the results must have been mixed up with somebody elses' - I even said this to the surgeon and googled online the likelihood that biopsys got mixed up and people treated when they shouldn't have been. I had convinced myself it was something benign, and I was so entirely convinced that it took persuading that it wasn't. My HA isn't/wasn't like many people here though - I detest seeing medics, I don't want to visit a doctor and am very good at my own reassurance. I can reassure myself consistently even when I SHOULD be seeking medical help. Part of this comes from a 'head in the sand' type HA, where you can retain blissful ignorance as long as you don't start seeing medics.
I do however agree with you about how having a serious illness changes your thought processes. It does change many for the better, and makes you focus on life and living in a way you perhaps didn't before.
Yes, I agree it was a generalisation and of course there is an acceptance to every rule. I was speaking from my personal experience and from the people I’ve dealt with. When I mentioned the perverse feeling of wanting to be proved right this doesn’t come from a nihilist or internal place but rather many people felt if gave them external validation for their worries. As you quite rightly highlight though this is not a universal trait.
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