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Social Phobe
17-07-07, 17:48
Hello everyone,

As you can probably tell from my username and the fact that I'm posting this message here that I have Social Anxiety.

I would say that my anxiety levels are mild. I can still go out and talk to people etc, although I sometimes find this hard to do and beat myself up about messing things up afterwards.

For about a year I've been unemployed. I finished university and never got a job. Partly due to the fact of being too scared of something new. However, I have been applying for jobs lately without much luck. Until last week I received a letter inviting me to an interview. For this interview I would have to sit infront of a panel of 4 people, plus participate in a group discussion and also be observed doing something else. Of course I was filled with dread when I got this letter. I quickly decided I wasn't going to go. I convinced myself I'd mess everything up and that I wouldn't be able to do the job anyway because of my anxiety (the job was for a care assistant in a psychiatric ward). I thought how can I help someone else if I cannot help myself? Anyway, I didn't even have the curtesy to phone up and say I wasn't going. But then I received a phonecall from them saying the day had been cancelled anyway. When I spoke to the guy he sounded nice and kind of made me wonder why I was so scared in the first place, and made me feel bad for not phoning him sooner and saying I wasn't going to go.

A couple of days after, I was beating myself up about letting the anxiety win again and for running away from something. Then today I receive an email from another job I had applied for - inviting me to an interview next week! I got the same feelings of dread, however this one seems to be a bit easier in the sense that there's only a 3 panel interview and no other tasks to do. This is for a Support Worker post in a hospital. I've been trying to convince myself that I can do this job and that it will actually help my anxiety because I will be interacting with loads of different people - so I should be helping myself as well as the service users.

Now my main question for you all is do you have any advice for job interviews? Talking about myself is the one thing I have trouble doing. When people ask me things about myself I usually give short answers and try to change the topic of conversation around onto them - but I know I cannot do that in an interview. I hate having attention placed on me, especially as I will be the sole focus of it all, and from three complete strangers who will be judging me on my responses. I also can suffer from blushing when I'm in that sort of situation. What can I do? I must also mention that I haven't had a proper interview before as I've never worked so I don't know what to expect. My friend is going to give me a mock interview I think, so hopefully that will help. But I would really appreciate any suggestions if you have them. I know even if I'm not successful that this will be a learning experience, but I still don't want to make a fool of myself as I will have a hard time trying to forget it.

I did search this section for other topics but didn't find anything useful.

Thank you all in advance, and I'm sorry for such a long post.

honeybee3939
17-07-07, 19:24
Hi


Try these links hun may they help too.....

Job Interview
Interview coming up and worrying already... (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7068)
Job Interview Today - advice greatly appreciated (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2682)
Job interview - how do i control my nerves? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6652)
Help!! Job interview tomorrow (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6328)
went for a job interview today. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3112)
fear of job interviews (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4589)
some advice please about back to work interview (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3446)
job interview (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7290)
At last........an interview! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4697)
Interview tomorrow (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4025)
Job Interview (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3444)
Interviews!! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=14047)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

Insomniac
17-07-07, 22:02
Hi there.

Don't worry about the long post. Its hard to say what you mean sometimes in a short way..

Andrea has given a great list of links there, so I'm gonna limit my advice!

I don't imagine you would apply for a job you didnt want or didnt feel able to do. They are obviously interested in you because they contact you to let you know about the change of day. Now you have another interview. Well done. Interviews are scary for everyone. But you would be surprised at what you CAN do!

Plan ahead. Find out about the organisation. Think about why you are good for the job and why they need YOU. Being prepared will help you feel more in control. And.... Go for it!

ItWillPass
19-07-07, 02:24
Hi there...

You should go to the interview. I was interviewing for an internship last year, and my anxiety was at a peak. I had no choice, I would either have to drop out of the program or, get an internship... So I went. I found that with each interview I went to, things got easier and easier. So, I was a blundering fool at my first interview, but my second one went a lot better. Some tips that helped me, are to bring a water bottle, at least with me, sometimes if I have to talk and I feel stressed my throat gets scratchy. I also was holding a little paper clip, kinda just fidgeting with it helped me. Also, just be yourself... I found that for the most part, people really appreciate realness. If you feel like you nervous and blushing, you can just tell them you are a little nervous. I find when I get it out there, it passes. I know how hard it is... I remember the feeling.

Social Phobe
19-07-07, 17:27
Thanks for the links and comments guys, it's been very helpful.

I have now emailed them back to say I'll be attending, so there's no going back now.

I don't feel too nervous at the moment although I'm trying not to think about it too much. One thing that has really dented my confidence was a time when at University we did a seminar on interviews. I was in a group with two people I had worked with before. We wrote some interview questions and took it in turns to interview each other. When it came to my turn to be interviewed I went so red and got very hot. I couldn't answer the questions well even though I had just helped write them. It was very embarrassing!

At the moment I'm going through questions I may be asked and am preparing general answers to them. Then tomorrow my friend is going to interview me. Hopefully I'll do OK there and it'll boost my confidence.

Has anyone learnt anything during therapy that may help? I know of visualisation and thinking positive and I've been trying to do that - anything else I can try? I will try the being open and honest thing if I do get very nervous. I guess there's not much else I can do except "feel the fear and do it anyway". Even if I don't get this job I'll learn a lot from the interview hopefully.

Thanks again.

lucy0927
23-07-07, 12:18
I always try to remember that in some cases the interviewers may just be as nervous as I am. You may get someone that hasn't interviewed before and you get just as nervous interviewing someone as they do being interviewed when it's like that.

I also try to remember that they are also having to sell the company to you. If they are awful and negative and come across as people you don't want to work with and a company you wouldn't want to work for, then you won't take the job.

You're not the only on under the microscope!

Hope it goes well.

x

Social Phobe
24-07-07, 17:24
Thanks for the advice.

The interview was this afternoon. I didn't get a good night's sleep and felt anxious before I went but I still went along. I was quite nervous at the interview and did blush but it wasn't so bad. The panel was two men and a woman, she was very encourging so helped me a lot. I managed to answer most of the questions OK.

If you have a job interview coming up and are thinking about not going, here's my advice now: Go anyway! I probably won't get this job but I'm glad I went to the interview and didn't let anxiety get the better of me, and hopefully my next interview will go even better. It is difficult and nerve racking but you have to face it head on. Try and do a lot of preperation, that helped me a lot. And also prepare some good questions to ask them at the end too!