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agingwuss
26-04-18, 09:42
At the moment I'm going through tests to see if some symptoms I have are sinister or, as a nurse I saw said, "something & nothing". [I won't say what it is, for fear of triggering other people's HA.]

I'm trying to keep my anxiety down to a minimum. I must thank this site and some of the 'sticky threads' above which have been an enormous help and I think I'm doing better than I'd feared.

But has anyone else come across what I can only call "fear of optimism". Quite often when I manage to push my fear to the back of my head, to lose myself in something more interesting or to get slightly confident that I will get good news about my health, something sort of 'pings' in the back of my head. It seems to be saying "if you think those happy & optimistic thoughts, you will definitely have a nasty shock when you get your results - and it will serve you right for not worrying! You won't be prepared & you won't be able to deal with it! "

Can anyone else relate to this daftness?

rainbow
26-04-18, 09:52
I can totally relate to what you're feeling. It's like I can't let myself be happy and think I'm ok cos I'll be tempting fate. It's no way to live.

jray23
27-04-18, 05:17
Yeah, in a way I get this not necessarily when I'm on a roll beating health anxiety for awhile (though it sometimes goes hand in hand) but when I've had a stretch of a few weeks forming good habits, making progress towards goals, my mind starts to play games with me and tell me something bad (often a health concern) is about to happen and derail me, and inevitably, nothing bad happens but I do get derailed anyway! :(

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Emc
27-04-18, 07:08
Yes yes yes! Funny I was talking to my counsellor about exactly this last week. I feel like I can’t enjoy the good times or even look forward to them much because i’m So scared that something bad will happen to ruin it all. Apparently it stems back to my experiences of Christmas & holidays as a child ... lol. Hard to change that though!!

Scass
27-04-18, 07:23
Absolutely. I!trying not to “tempt fate” ☹️


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itoldyouiwasill
27-04-18, 08:14
Yep. That fear of letting your guard down and tempting fate is incredibly strong. I do think there is also a habitual act at play in that we get addicted over time to the tension and release and rinse and repeat cycle. I unearthed this thread about the very same thing...can’t believe it was 10 years ago.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=41032