View Full Version : Very afraid my worst fear has come true
Hi everyone...haven't posted in quite a while. I had hoped never to have to post about this again. I am very scared right now. I think I may have pancreatic cancer. For about 7 weeks I've had upper abdominal pain. Burning, gnawing, sometimes feels like I've been punched. At first it seemed to be worse when my stomach was empty, now the pain comes on a short time after eating and remains for a few hours. I've seen my dr and he has requested blood work. I won't get the results until May 8th, unless of course something is found to be wrong then I'll get called in earlier.
So far I haven't lost any weight and have a decent appetite. A new symptom started 2 days ago, itching. It comes and goes and is not restricted to one place. Having had this fear a couple of years ago, I know itchiness is a symptom of PC. I have no jaundice, but know that itching is also a sign of jaundice.
I'm currently attending group therapy for HA, however so far it hasn't been effective.
I'm hoping someone can help me break out of this fear and give me a bit of hope that my fears are just that, fears.
Thx for reading and for any support and advice you can offer.:weep:
You've had this fear for a long time. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=119648) Respectfully, I'll have the "Told ya so gang" on standby.
Positive thoughts
I agree I have been afraid of PC before...4 years ago...but this is a recent development....i do understand where you are coming from tho and appreciate you replying Fishmanpa...your insights and advice are usually spot on....all I can say is I hope you are right...I'll even enjoy hearing "I told you so", unfortunately being so far in the spiral I don't think that will happen
I agree I have been afraid of PC before...4 years ago...but this is a recent development....i do understand where you are coming from tho and appreciate you replying Fishmanpa...your insights and advice are usually spot on....all I can say is I hope you are right...I'll even enjoy hearing "I told you so", unfortunately being so far in the spiral I don't think that will happen
Yet, you're on an anxiety forum posting about your long time fear :whistles:
FMP
ok...I'll stop now....thx
ok...I'll stop now....thx
As a survivor of a very rare Head and Neck cancer, IMO, your fears are still fears. Let us know about the blood test results.
Positive thoughts
I can say I have felt like you describe off and on for...well...ten or fifteen years. I never even considered cancer, honestly. I always attributed it to an "anxious gut." I am still here, and my guts are still a mess. Itching is part and parcel of anxiety, and having known two people who had PC, neither of them had anything remotely close to the symptoms you describe, for what that is worth.
It sounds more like an ulcer than anything else to me. I do understand your worry because this has been a worry for me over the past year too & every time the gnawing pain comes back I think it again. However it’s unlikely. The most common way pancreatic cancer presents is actually with painless jaundice. Pain is often mentioned as a feature online but irl it’s not all that common. Itch can be caused by fatigue & anxiety - I know I get really itchy when things are bad mh wise - I think it’s just all my over excited nerve endings playing up. Get your blood tests done & go from there but really if you’ve had this worry for a long time it’s unlikely to be sinister.
paranoid-viking
27-04-18, 10:02
Hi everyone...haven't posted in quite a while. I had hoped never to have to post about this again. I am very scared right now. I think I may have pancreatic cancer. For about 7 weeks I've had upper abdominal pain. Burning, gnawing, sometimes feels like I've been punched. At first it seemed to be worse when my stomach was empty, now the pain comes on a short time after eating and remains for a few hours. I've seen my dr and he has requested blood work. I won't get the results until May 8th, unless of course something is found to be wrong then I'll get called in earlier.
So far I haven't lost any weight and have a decent appetite. A new symptom started 2 days ago, itching. It comes and goes and is not restricted to one place. Having had this fear a couple of years ago, I know itchiness is a symptom of PC. I have no jaundice, but know that itching is also a sign of jaundice.
I'm currently attending group therapy for HA, however so far it hasn't been effective.
I'm hoping someone can help me break out of this fear and give me a bit of hope that my fears are just that, fears.
Thx for reading and for any support and advice you can offer.:weep:
No no no. I see you have had this fear for 6 years. I have the same fear but for about one and a half. I hoped such fear would not linger too long.
Anyway; yah I feel the same symptoms and you on and off but somehow get used to it. Had a major full blown panic yesterday after some very light stool that was probably due to recovery from diarreah.
I think you misunderstand jaundice. It does not manifest excactly as you say. Itching is something all of us in the world has from time to time. Where do you itch? Is it massive? Constant? The itching ascosciated with jaundice is on the palms of the hands and soles of the feets. And it is more or less constant.
As for the gnawing upper stomach pain; from what I have understood(if you dont google to much where worst case scanario comes up)it could be gastritis. Then the testings for any pancreas problems is a mad goose chase. To determine if it is gastritis you need endoscopy. Have you requested it?
And no - gastritis is not dangerous. But can be painful yes.
thank you for your replies lofwyr,emc and paranoid viking...i just want to say I haven't feared PC non-stop for the last 4 years. When testing ruled it out the fear went away and I didn't fear PC again until the last few weeks. Trying to stay calm until i get the blood results. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.
paranoid-viking
27-04-18, 19:03
thank you for your replies lofwyr,emc and paranoid viking...i just want to say I haven't feared PC non-stop for the last 4 years. When testing ruled it out the fear went away and I didn't fear PC again until the last few weeks. Trying to stay calm until i get the blood results. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.
OK, but have you asked for an endoscopy? To check the inner stomach I mean for any gastritis or ulcers.
You did not answer about the itching. Where is it? Is it periodical or more or less constant?
not yet..i will when i see my dr again
paranoid-viking
27-04-18, 19:30
not yet..i will when i see my dr again
Ok, but what about your itching? Where do you itch? Is it constnat or just random?
I think what the previous poster said about nervous stomach is really something to consider here.
I speak from recent experience too - I started having stomach issues a week or so ago seemingly out of no where after having a ton of stress lumped on my at work. I'm getting back pain too, but I have now settled that that at least is from very bad posture. it definitely feels muscular.
The stomach pains are more like a bloating feeling, like you ate too much. Of course if you read online all this points to PC. Of which like 95% of patients are older than 50 when diagnosed. I'm 36.
Anyway, this is a new fear for me but I understand where you're coming from. I think it's more likely to be gastritis myself. Get checked out, then be ready to move on when FMP is right. :winks:
my itching is random paranoid-viking....not there all the time...but all over my body...different places at different times....ty ktdid2000 for your reply...i guess my age is something that is affecting my belief too...i'm 55 now...
WiseMonkey
28-04-18, 00:49
I remember having this PC scare triggered some years ago It arose after watching Coro St (TV programme) when Hayley had it. Then my neighbours wife died from it!
It didn't happen immediately but was in the back of my mind for some time. So by and by I did get some symptoms which I though could be PC. I saw my Dr and she assured me it wasn't but she did the blood test marker and told me there are some specific symptoms for PC that I didn't have. She also told me that it's rare.
The specific things were, orange urine, grey/white stools that float, and jaundice.
Note
*This is not the orange urine you can get when dehydrated or have been drinking loads of Fanta, it would be normal everyday urine.
*Jaundice can occur from other more common complaints like liver issues etc.
*We all have floaters from time to time, if they're any shade of brown/yellow/green (from food eaten) they're fine.
thank you wisemonkey....trying hard to keep a lid on the anxiety...not having a lot of success...but trying
PC is my current HA obsession. I think like you WiseMonkey it was kicking around in the back of my mind for awhile and when I got some back and stomach pains last week my mind connected the dots and flipped the switch. I can remember just panicking all of a sudden and then not being able to think about anything else except the worst. It was the fastest I've ever fallen down the anxiety rabbit hole.
I agree that PC is rare... I think the hardest part of it for HA sufferers is that you can have it and have no symptoms until it's so bad it's untreatable. Or the symptoms are so vague no one thinks to check it. That's classic fodder for HA, a deadly disease that everyone misses until it's too late. I'm exaggerating here, but that's why I think it's a common fear for those with HA.
paranoid-viking
28-04-18, 18:10
If a vaccine would be invented for this type of cancer which is the worst of them all I would line up to get it cost what it cost. It would be worth it.
paranoid-viking
28-04-18, 22:39
OK, I moderated it(and then you should too so that no one sees my original post(:shades:)
But my point stays the same. It would be worth putting my home as security to get a vaccine against something like this.
As a survivor, I just want to say that no cancer is really better than any other. It may not be the worst cancer to have in terms of survival but one must take into consideration the treatment as well. My Head and Neck cancer treatment is considered to be the worst in terms of side effects next to bone cancer treatment, with a 50/50 chance of survival past 5 years. I just hit 5 years. I can tell you first hand how brutal the treatment was and just how miserable the permanent side affects are!:lac:
Cancer is cancer. Mental illness is mental illness. It all affects us all differently and it sucks regardless.
FMP
I'm very glad you have reached the 5 year mark fishmanpa...I'm sorry you had to go through the whole ordeal. Believe me...I am in no way trivializing your journey. I'm just afraid I'm about to start my own.
I wish I was more positive...itchiness is still there...stomach discomfort as well...a plus is I haven't received a phone call from the dr asking me to come in early for the results of the blood tests. I had the test done last wednesday I'm assuming the results should be at my dr's office by now.
Listen, as someone who has had pancreatitis twice, it’s a fear of mine as well. Heck, even pancreatitis is a fear of mine. Every stomach flu that doesn’t leave within 24 hours I’m headed to the doctor for a lipase and amylase test. My husbands aunt was diagnosed with this last year, my CAO at the company I used to work for was diagnosed 3 years ago! It’s come a long way. Don’t let the internet scare you into the dreaded spiral (easier said than done-I do this too) Both are doing extremely well and still working at that.
I have had the burning pain where I just knew it was the big C and guess what, four doctors visits later and blood tests out the wazoo-Gavison is what finally helped me, for Gastritis! Harmless Gastritis. It’s white, it’s chalky, get the extra strength and you’ll be on your way to feeling better. Limit spicy, processed, caffeine, and chocolate for a few days also. :D
ty Halle...i'm sorry you've suffered with pancreatitis...i thinks its the itching in addition to to the pain thats got me so scared
Any chance you quit taking an allergy med recently? My cousin quit Zyrtec and itched like crazy for a while. Maybe it’s a side effect of another med you take? I also have “winter itch” since I was a kid. My mom would always gripe at me for scratching my legs and arms raw. That’s a possibility too, please let us know how the labs go friend!
Any chance you quit taking an allergy med recently? My cousin quit Zyrtec and itched like crazy for a while. Maybe it’s a side effect of another med you take? I also have “winter itch” since I was a kid. My mom would always gripe at me for scratching my legs and arms raw. That’s a possibility too, please let us know how the labs go friend!
Hi Halle...sorry I didnt reply until now...but no, no allergy meds...i've been on the same meds for a few years now...2 days to go until i get my results..abdominal pain has eased up a bit but the itching is still there, feeling nauseous today too...having some mild upper back pain as well...still very scared this is PC
Upper back pain could be from all the tension from worrying about this. I have horrific upper back pain from anxiety some days. Then if I can distract myself it dissipates. It’s hard to do, I struggle as well. Nausea is also a side effect of anxiety-ever heard people say “you’re worrying yourself sick?” That’s what it means my friend. I’ll be praying for you, I hope that’s okay. It’s a fear I had the first time I had pancreatitis and I know it’s a very real fear and so incredibly frightening. I think I told you before every stomach bug sends me for a lipase and amylase test to “catch it early” now. It’s a pain you won’t forget. Please do keep us updated. Also, I do EFT (tapping) you can find it on YouTube. My counselor works with me and we do it for health anxiety. There are some great videos on YouTube. It seems silly, but keep doing it, you’ll feel a nice release after a few rounds.
ty Halle...I'll check out those videos. I'm thinking that I don't recall if my dr put bilirubin on the test requisition, that has me a bit concerned...isnt that normally checked too on a pancreatic blood panel?
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.