My own worst enemy?

[tootingyellow]

Hello all,

I am new to this site (second post) and I have never openly discussed my anxiety/panic attacks with anyone even family.

I had a really bad time between Friday and Monday constantly having one attack after the other. I felt so bad that I took myself to hospital twice. As the initial attack came out of the blue and I cannot pinpoint any trigger I can’t help feel that I’m going mad and that‘ll I will never be free of them. As soon as one attack finishes I am so desperate for it not to happen again that I cannot stop thinking about it. My head starts streaming with thoughts until I have made myself panic again; it feels like I’m almost willing it to happen. How can I break this cycle? The last two mornings I have woken up feeling fine, having been able to sleep for the first time in several days, and I find myself just waiting to feel bad again.

Does anyone experience the same thing?

I would be grateful if anyone could suggest some positive steps I could take.

[panicdiva]

Hi, I am sorry that you have been feeling like this, & it must be so hard not being able to talk to someone about it. I think that fear of having another attack becomes all we can think about, and because our bodies are in a state of high anxiety (from worrying about another panic attack), it is so easy for the panic to hit us. Does this mean that we will it to happen? Yes & no. I mean, no, we do not want it to happen again, but yes, because we can think about nothing else, the panic keeps sweeping over us.

You have come to the right place to talk about this though, because we all know what you are going through, you really are not alone. If you really feel that you cannot talk to family or friends about this, we are all here to help. It is hard to talk to family & friends, mostly because, they really don't know what it feels like, however, that does not mean that they can't give you lots of support, & lots of hugs. I hope that one day you will be able to talk to them about it, it may help quite abit.

In the meantime, don't hesitate to pm me if you just want to talk about how your feeling.

I hope this helps a little.

[groovygranny]

Hi there tooting,

You've got it in one - you are your worst enemy.

I thought at one point I was going to be committed, I felt that much out of touch with reality.

My panic and anxiety was 24/7 and completely exhausting, but I was afriad to sleep because I knew the awful way I'd wake up.

My fear just fed the panic monster. You have to starve it to death by training yourself to think about positive things.

This is not easy, and you'll feel at times as though it's all for nothing but you must keep at it. You will beat it eventually.

I started by setting myself little goals and rituals throughout the day. Really simple things like talking myself through having a shower -

1. turn on shower
2. get in shower
3. reach for shampoo
4.wash my hair......etc and so on.

I was like a baby learning all over again. But it did help - repetitiveness was the focus I needed at the time.

There was more but not enough room here!

I really don't know if this is of any help to you, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone :)


:hugs:

[Insomniac]

Hi tooting.

Sorry to hear you find this hard to talk about, so I'm glad you found your way here. There's always someone around who understands.

We are definitely our own worst enemies. After one attack its easy to worry about when the next will happen because they are so awful. Then you can become hyper-aware looking for symptoms. Your heightened state of awareness makes you more anxious and raises your adrenaline levels. It can be a hard cycle to break - but is certainly not impossible.

Last summer I had to cancel a week away because just the thought of being in the car terrified me after I had a bad attack. It took a while to recover because I was afraid I would have a PA while outside and everyone would see me. Last weekend I went to Wales with my husband and daughter to my sister in law's birthday party. Different setting, lots of unfamiliar people, sleeping away from home.... But I did it and the feeling of joy at success is great.

I find rescue remedy very useful as it is calming and helps me stay in control to remember my other methods. I remember how reassured I was by reading about breathing and relaxation on the Home Page here, also finding out more about palpitations. They scare me so much less now that they don't seem to have such a hold. There's hope out there... honestly. You're in the right place for advice and support too.

Lisa.

[Insomniac]

I was thinking more about my post. I remember the feeling of tightness in my chest and what I do about it.

If I'm in the house or car I usually put on some music and sing along. My singing isn't great(!) but it changes my breathing and gives me something else to concentrate on.

Hope this helps.

[tootingyellow]

I'd just like to thank you all for taking the trouble to respond. It does help to know that there are other people out there that understand.