PDA

View Full Version : Worried - travelling by train to work



SunnyB
28-04-18, 23:02
In a few days I am due to travel by train for work, it will be 2 days and it’s a different site to where I usually am. I don’t really want to go but it involves training and working with another manager, the way my manager worded it i thought it was compulsory, I then found out i didn’t have to go. But the travel had already been booked because my manager booked it within the hour of me agreeing to it.
They said I seemed nervous and I was unsure about saying yes but I felt like I had to because I didn’t want to seem like I’m not putting in the effort. I recently had to tell my manager about my struggle with anxiety and how it is affecting me at work.

The train journey has 2 changes and it is in a major city where I have to change over. It’s a massive deal for me because I only started getting the train on my own in my mid twenties and that has been a struggle but I think I’ve done really well. Now I feel like I’m not ready to conquer this fear of travelling through London on my own, it’s one thing I’ve always avoided.

As this is for work I am very worried how I will react that morning and if I will manage to even leave the house. Because you know how it is.. and how hard it is when you’ve felt that anxiety and panic before.

I think both managers know I’m not keen on going so expect me to call in sick and made a joke about it (not about my anxiety but because this other manager is a bit scary lol and we all feel a bit nervous about them and I’m not keen on working with her but ya know, it’s work etc) but would be very disappointed if I didn’t go and I would feel so embarrassed and stupid. I’ve cancelled day trips before where I was travelling by train because I had a panic attack before leaving the house. I don’t want to go but I do also want to try to go so I don’t feel like I’ve let myself or anyone else down. It’s really not a big deal in general but for me it is. If I was visiting a friend I know they would understand my anxieties and would be on call, one friend often does that when I visit them and it’s a great comfort and it makes me feel like I’m not crazy.
I’ve been worrying myself sick about it for weeks, I don’t know what to do! I should give it a go of course. But I will feel like such a let down if I don’t get there, it’s so hard to get across to some people how hard I find it.

They said “oh apparently even though you have to change trains it is really easy and it’s easy to find when you get there.” they meant well and said it like i would be like Oh ok it’s all good then because that’s the only issue!
but that’s not the issue for me! It’s starts by just getting myself out the house, but how do I explain that :shrug: I know it’s irrational but it’s part of my anxiety.

Do you have any tips that will help me?
I always leave the house super early anyway and get to the station really early because I hate the thought of missing my train and i like to feel prepared.
I’m so scared of getting to the station or on the train and then panicking and wanting to leave!

This turned out to be a longer post than I planned!!

MissB88
28-04-18, 23:17
You don't sound crazy at all lovely.
I would be exactly the same about getting the train on my own through London. It doesn't matter how "easy" the route may be it's still a big deal to you.

Could someone you know not travel with you?
Or maybe try explaining to your manager how you have here maybe?!

Whatever you decide, I hope it all goes well sweet [emoji4]

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

SunnyB
29-04-18, 00:03
You don't sound crazy at all lovely.
I would be exactly the same about getting the train on my own through London. It doesn't matter how "easy" the route may be it's still a big deal to you.

Could someone you know not travel with you?
Or maybe try explaining to your manager how you have here maybe?!

Thanks for your reply :)
No one is able to travel with me, my co worker was going to come for the training too but the other manager decided against it, preferred me going on my own.

Yes you’re right about that I should explain more to my manager, I’m seeing her tomorrow so I will try to have a chat then. Dreading it, because I know she won’t get what I’m trying to say.

MissB88
29-04-18, 00:09
No problem[emoji846]

It's hard when other people don't understand, isn't it.. maybe if you try to explain that you don't want to miss the opportunity but you would feel more comfortable if the other person came with you.. she might be more understanding.
Good luck.

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

Scass
29-04-18, 07:18
I understand. My fears were often around trains.

How long will the journey be? Is it something you could practice beforehand with someone?

I take a care package. Always headphones, with music or relaxation techniques on my phone. Games to play on your phone too for distraction.

I always sit near the door, often near the toilet (though it smells sometimes)!
I Take something to suck on - Bach’s rescue remedies do sweets now.

Be prepared & you may actually enjoy it!
Imagine how proud of yourself you’re going to be!
There’s no reason you can’t do this x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

SunnyB
29-04-18, 09:42
I understand. My fears were often around trains.

How long will the journey be? Is it something you could practice beforehand with someone?

I take a care package. Always headphones, with music or relaxation techniques on my phone. Games to play on your phone too for distraction.

I always sit near the door, often near the toilet (though it smells sometimes)!
I Take something to suck on - Bach’s rescue remedies do sweets now.

Be prepared & you may actually enjoy it!
Imagine how proud of yourself you’re going to be!
There’s no reason you can’t do this x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Thanks for your reply! No I won’t have a chance to practice the journey before hand but I wish I did. I’ll talk to my manager and see what they say because it would be a wasted train fare costing the company money if I didn’t go but if we try and reschedule it we can change the ticket and I might be able to have time to do the journey on my own in my own time with no added pressure.

I had an assessment for therapy last week and it really set me back for the rest of the week, I’ve been very teary, emotional and feel all over the place. Plus I’ve been worrying myself sick about the journey since yesterday.
This is the worst I’ve been in a long time!