Croydonbee
29-04-18, 09:10
I’ve had bad hay fever but now have a virus. Hard to exercise due to asthma. As a result, all I want to do is sleep - as a result, I have a feeling of unreality, anxiety and for a week or so have lust all enthusiasm for anything. I’m scared it’ll spiral into panic and depression. Feel constantly nervy and just want to hide away. The other day my mum’s ashes were buried in a nice little outside service. But I feel lost and empty, and the guilt is starting to envelop me - guilt for not being “me” to my wife and kids. Horrid. Wish I could just have a clear head. Can’t look forward to anything or even do mundane tasks in this state. Everything feels unreal, my head is dizzy and whooshing, and it’s affecting my wife who is scared to say the wrong thing because of my anxiety issues.
Not sure where to turn. The NHS psychiatrist rejected a re-referral and going private is unaffordable. Just wish I could get out of this and that my mind was clear and didn’t ponder on things. Constant humming in the head. And balance is poor too. Dread every day I wake up.
Not sure where to turn. The NHS psychiatrist rejected a re-referral and going private is unaffordable. Just wish I could get out of this and that my mind was clear and didn’t ponder on things. Constant humming in the head. And balance is poor too. Dread every day I wake up.