Brain-eating amoeba (Naegleria fowleri)

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

Hi thanks for clicking my thread.

My panic is so bad right now that its making me sick and hard to stand on my feet.
It was hard for me to register here even i could not find the buttons etc.
And when i panic i start doing stupid stuff that makes me panic even more so right now i thougth i just focus on this webpage, and stay still and not do anyting else.

History:
I have allot of OCD and Anxiety in my history.
I'ts been getting worse as i age.

Start of my panic:
I woke up irritable already slept bad and my ear felt closed the whole time.
I sing and compose music so things like that can trigger me hardcore.
So what i did was i went to a tap and started running hot water into my ear.
Then i suddenly felt and noticed it going up my nose. And it kinda made me "choke on the water" not sure how to say this in english..

Straight away all the articles i once read about Naegleria fowleri popped up in my head.
And went across my eyes sort of speaking as slides.
I immediately jumped behind my pc and started googling those articles again.
Mainly focusing on reasons why i would not have it.
like googling the time of year people get it.
googling the locations people get them
countries..
etc..

ive read other threads where people try to calm others by saying it does not occur in europe etc etc.
well it does occur in europe and also in italy and in some factory in belgium (thats very near)
i try so hard to calm down.

but nothing right now is helping. I just cant convince myself that i dont have it.
Also i have been rubbinb some soap in my nose and salt. (i do stupid shit when im anxious)
Its never gonna reach the area where the Naegleria fowleri could be ofcourse.... and i would need the same tap water to reach that and i dont even know if soap or salt would kill it.....
im just going 10000% insane right now.. and im sweating i cant focus i cannot stand on my feet. and i need help. badly...

Now i am even thinking that i might increase the risk of getting the virus because of the soap and salt.

please.. i am so tired of this disease and today its so bad i have not had it this bad in like a year or 6 months or so. and i feel cold and strange and sick.




edit: these strange cold waves im having right now are freaking me out. i think its from the Naegleria fowleri.

[Carys]

We've had a few threads about this in the last few months - if you do a search you will find other replies made about this fear.

You used tap water! TAP WATER. I am assuming that water is treated in the Netherlands the same as it is in other European countries? Isn't this the same hot water that goes up your nose, and probably in your mouth during a shower?

You will have googled that -

The amoeba can be found in: Bodies of warm freshwater, such as lakes and rivers, Geothermal (naturally hot) water, such as hot springs, Warm water discharge from industrial plants, Geothermal (naturally hot) drinking water sources, Swimming pools that are poorly maintained, minimally-chlorinated, and/or un-chlorinated, Water heaters.

It doesn't say from a tap in a home, in that list.

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

There are cases of it being in peoples tap water.
And i had my head tilted completely.
That way it could run water past nerves where it goes up into the brain..
this is why its worrying me.
and i'm feeling sick right now.

---------- Post added at 17:15 ---------- Previous post was at 17:14 ----------

from cdc.gov
Naegleria fowleri can grow in public and private water tanks and pipes, especially where little or no disinfectant (like chlorine or chloramine) is present. It can also grow in the pipes and water heaters of homes and buildings.

Naegleria fowleri infections have been reported when people put their heads underwater, rinse their sinuses through the nose, and cleanse their noses during religious practices using contaminated tap or faucet water.

imso ****ing scared.

[Carys]

OK, in the Netherlands...its been found in treated tap water has it? I can't believe that.


In the whole of 2016, in the states there were 5 cases in the whole of the US, all contracted from water activities outside the home. In the article I read, they compared that to the fact that there were over 3,500 fatalities from water activity accidents. I've read of ONE rare case where some kid died after home water was used on a water slide.

---------- Post added at 18:21 ---------- Previous post was at 18:20 ----------

OK, this is pointless, you are reading US based articles and live in the Netherlands! What are you doing to try and actually diminish your fear? All I can see is that you are reenforcing it with your reading. You are hugely, statistically more likely to trip over and break your neck, than have contracted anything AT ALL.

I repeat...

Isn't this the same hot water that goes up your nose, and probably in your mouth during a shower?

[Fishmanpa]

Respectfully... this is a totally extreme irrational fear. (PERIOD!)

You said you're going 10000% insane right now. That is the only accurate statement in your post.

Positive thoughts

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

The point is that i have anxiety.
And statistics are very important to me. it helps me from going insane.
saying what i am doing is pointless and reinforcing towards me fears is clear for my logical part of my brain.

i expected someone from 2009 with 2000 posts to understand what anxiety means and does to someone.

thanks for being so aggressive and judging in your words... very helpful... not.

---------- Post added at 17:34 ---------- Previous post was at 17:33 ----------

Hi Fishmanpa,

i am trying to use positive thoughts.
the whole point is that its >>> NOT WORKING <<<
this is why i am using words like going insane..
the insane part is..
that i am not able to CONTROL my ANXIETY right now..
so i am flipping out...

But nobody seems to understand it or something.

i >>> CANT STOP <<<< it

[Carys]

I entirely understand. You are misreading my post, and not understanding it correctly.


saying what i am doing is pointless and reinforcing towards me fears is clear for my logical part of my brain.Sorry, don't know what this means.

I have tried to give you some logic, and ways to think about this in a more rational way, and ways to control your anxious thoughts about it.....but you aren't listening. So, I'm leaving the thread.

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

Ok so you say i don't understand rolling the ball to me and avoiding my comment that you are just being aggressive and non constructive.

And then decide to leave. without even trying to explain the part you say i do not understand.

How is that being helpful on a forum where people seek help?

I genuinely feel like you are just trivializing how i feel and are trying to play-down the situation instead of understand me.

[Carys]

I have done and said nothing aggressive to you. I have tried to assist you, which I now regret.

Good luck

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

You are not even reading what i write:

you start off with
Quote " if you do a search you will find other replies made about this fear. "
in my post i say:
"ive read other threads where people try to calm others by saying it does not occur in europe etc etc."

Then you do a quick google. not even reading the actual cases trying to tell me it does not happen in tap water:
and you say:
"You used tap water! TAP WATER." why would you need to yell and capitalize that. i am aware i used tap water...

And then you just go on about trying to make me look like an idiot for reading american articles. etc etc. i seriously doubt you even realize the tone you are setting.. its very unhelpful is what i am saying.

a little bit of compassion and understanding would be nice.

i am currently convinced im about to die. and you make it sound like its nothing big. and that i am just making it worse and doing stupid shit.
i am aware i am stressing myself. i have ****ing ANXIETY. And i tried to seek help by going here.

trying to seek help on how to ****ing stop Flipping about it.

I dont think any knowledge-able person would start off the way you do. because i feel worse now.

thanks.

also thats why i say that i cannot understand that you have been here for so long and not realize what you do.
im not some kind of special snowflake or anything.
the whole reason i actually have anxiety is due to being raised extremely harsh and the opposite of snowflake.
but your method of approach does no good to anyone with anxiety i am sure.

[Annaboodle]

Sorry, I know you are clearly upset and spiralling, but the "tone" you are reading into what Carys wrote is completely imagined. There is no tone there. You are actually being extremely rude to someone trying to help you. Carys was simply pointing out that you've been reading US-based articles which are therefore not relevant to your fear. You say that statistics are important to you, yet you when offered some which demonstrate how incredibly unlikely it is that you have anything to worry about you lash out at the person offering that reassurance. Carys was not being aggressive or judgemental towards you. You've got that very wrong.

Yes, you are being challenged on your irrational, illogical thinking which is part of your anxiety, but that is important in dismantling your fear to feel better hopefully.

Carys is a hugely valuable member of this community who helps many people here with her experience and advice. What you've written about her, particularly in your last post above, is just downright offensive and actually you should apologise.

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

I did not know that post count and register date made you immune for critique on this forum.
i clearly stated why i found things to be offensive.
and clearly said why and why its like that for me. people don't have to apologize for expressing how they feel they are being treated.

and you want me to apologize now for the way you are reading perceiving things being written here?

[Bigboyuk]

Exactly Carys is a caring member like most of us are on here. You have admitted you have HA which is spiralling out of control do you agree with this? If so why haven't you seeked help for your HA which is the only cause for concern here? :) ATB

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

yeah exactly. professional help. thanks for the advice bigboyuk

[Bigboyuk]

Well np :) It does make sense do let us know how you get on with this :)ATB

[paranoid-viking]

Sorry, I know you are clearly upset and spiralling, but the "tone" you are reading into what Carys wrote is completely imagined. There is no tone there. You are actually being extremely rude to someone trying to help you. Carys was simply pointing out that you've been reading US-based articles which are therefore not relevant to your fear. You say that statistics are important to you, yet you when offered some which demonstrate how incredibly unlikely it is that you have anything to worry about you lash out at the person offering that reassurance. Carys was not being aggressive or judgemental towards you. You've got that very wrong.

Yes, you are being challenged on your irrational, illogical thinking which is part of your anxiety, but that is important in dismantling your fear to feel better hopefully.

Carys is a hugely valuable member of this community who helps many people here with her experience and advice. What you've written about her, particularly in your last post above, is just downright offensive and actually you should apologise.

When you are irrational and feel upset ypu easily atack people whose just trying to help. I know, because I have been there myself many times. The OP has a completely irrational fear and, but is suffering and I do feel sorry for him og her for having this fear. I empathise but I dont really think the OP would be satisfied with anything anyone write her. He or she has decieded he or she has brain eating amoeba and at that stage profesional help is the only solution, not posting on this forum.

[Fishmanpa]

i am currently convinced im about to die.

Then I suggest you go to the hospital. Nothing we say on is an internet anxiety forum will help you. Let us know how you make out. I'll have the "Told ya so gang" on standby :winks:

Positive thoughts

[paranoid-viking]

Respectfully... this is a totally extreme irrational fear. (PERIOD!)

You said you're going 10000% insane right now. That is the only accurate statement in your post.

Positive thoughts

One thing I notice is that posts about specific rare diseases tend to turn up at the same time; which tells me that posters in here very likely get triggered by other peoples fear. But it never stop to amuse me that all of them think that the nose is a portal to the brain.

OP, with all due respect, your fear is irrational and I am not going to read half of this explanations to justify that you think you have a brain eating amoeba. It is irrational and crazy. Period. No "yes but"..NO!NO, NO. AND NO. Period! Your problem is the anxiety. And to repeat what has been said to others: your brain is not inside your nose. YOUR BRAIN IS NOT INSIDE YOUR NOSE! Period!

---------- Post added at 20:38 ---------- Previous post was at 20:36 ----------


There are cases of it being in peoples tap water.
And i had my head tilted completely.
That way it could run water past nerves where it goes up into the brain..
this is why its worrying me.
and i'm feeling sick right now.

---------- Post added at 17:15 ---------- Previous post was at 17:14 ----------

from cdc.gov
Naegleria fowleri can grow in public and private water tanks and pipes, especially where little or no disinfectant (like chlorine or chloramine) is present. It can also grow in the pipes and water heaters of homes and buildings.

Naegleria fowleri infections have been reported when people put their heads underwater, rinse their sinuses through the nose, and cleanse their noses during religious practices using contaminated tap or faucet water.

imso ****ing scared.

Please stop reading about this virtually non-existing amoeba. It os not good for you to read any of this. Stop it and stop now. Force yourself not to read all about it. It is bad for your mental health.

---------- Post added at 20:40 ---------- Previous post was at 20:38 ----------


The point is that i have anxiety.
And statistics are very important to me. it helps me from going insane.


Does it. You fear something that maybe 20 people in the entire universe has been unfortunate to come into contact in the last 50 years, IN A WORLD POPULATION OF MORE THAN 7 BILLIONS!
If that statistic can not reassure you then no statistic will.

---------- Post added at 20:41 ---------- Previous post was at 20:40 ----------


I have done and said nothing aggressive to you. I have tried to assist you, which I now regret.

Good luck

You should not regret it. People with extreme anxiety can act hostile but that is because they are desperate. I know myself; I have upset people but I meant no harm; I was desperate.

[Fishmanpa]

I did say on another post that the warm weather would bring out the N fowleri posts :whistles:

Positive thoughts

[paranoid-viking]

I did say on another post that the warm weather would bring out the N fowleri posts :whistles:

Positive thoughts

Europe has had a very cold winter this year, hardest in decades. But this brain eating amoeba is located in the US south ONLY, no? I dont think it exists in Europe.

[venusbluejeans]

ijustwant.tobehappy you have completely misread and misinterpreted Carys' replies to you... her replies were helping you and no she wasn't being aggressive at all to you. I am thinking you are reading too much into things...... and to be honest i think yes you do owe Carys an apology..... I will leave it up to you if you actually want to do that or not... but she has done nothing to deserve you calling her aggressive because she really wasn't

Admin

[ijustwant.tobehappy]

Thanks guys, for me the posts of you about understanding the aggression really helped. i feel a bit better now.

---------- Post added at 18:55 ---------- Previous post was at 18:54 ----------

can you guys stop forcing me to apologize about expressing my feelings. i was just starting to feel better...

[Fishmanpa]

Respectfully, it may be in your best interest to contact your local mental health facilities/hotline and take a break from the internet and forum :)

Positive thoughts

[venusbluejeans]

No one has forced you to make an apology.... in fact i told you it was up to you if you wanted to or not. I do feel though that you need to think about changing your attitude towards people who take their time to reply to you though

[paranoid-viking]

I did not know that post count and register date made you immune for critique on this forum.
i clearly stated why i found things to be offensive.
and clearly said why and why its like that for me. people don't have to apologize for expressing how they feel they are being treated.

and you want me to apologize now for the way you are reading perceiving things being written here?

Remember though that something being understandable is by no mean the same as it being justified. You should apologise. I would.

[EmmerLooeez]

How do you feel now OP? I have been as anxious as you before. My old username on here was 'Emaa' -search it if you like, my fears were bizarre. Really bizarre. Yours is too.

When you're in that place, that bad, you need reassurance NOW. Anything to make it stop. The problem is, it won't be enough, because nobody can ever 100% convince you that you don't have it.

My tips to you are:
Talk to someone face to face. If you can tell your worries to a doctor, great, if not, then a friend or family member.

Use phone help lines

Do NOT Google. You think it will reassure you but I promise you it won't. There is no quick fix way to beat this, resist.

Distract yourself. Play cards, force yourself to read a book outloud, watch a comedy and really focus.

This will pass. You are okay. X

Sent from my SM-G357FZ using Tapatalk

[MyNameIsTerry]

OP, Carys isn't being aggressive but challenging your fears. Things can be lost in the written word, and I'm guessing English might not be your first language either which only adds to this, but as others have said we do understand how being so upset can make you snap and it's something many of us will have done (I've had some irrational outbursts, mostly at my dad and felt terrible for it minutes later). It's not just mental health that does this, look how snappy being with colds are let alone being in physical pain from injuries.

It's best to clear it up though. Admit to how you feel and smooth it over with those you may have fallen out with. I think Carys realised this as she didn't argue back.

As for this current worry, like Carys was saying it really doesn't matter what the US CDC says as that's just for the US. They are no more relevant in a local case than seeing what the statistics are for some remote tribe in the Amazon. Look for statistics for your own country from your own health depts, and the EU will likely have statistics too with all the close links between our health depts.

Use useful statistics if they help you to challenge your thoughts. But are there other reasons for these fears? For instance, are you under any stress right now? Have there been any traumatic events in your life recently? Try to bring down your overall levels of anxiety through things like relaxation work, meditation, exercise, Mindfulness, etc.

[greendecker]

Hi thanks for clicking my thread.

My panic is so bad right now that its making me sick and hard to stand on my feet.
It was hard for me to register here even i could not find the buttons etc.
And when i panic i start doing stupid stuff that makes me panic even more so right now i thougth i just focus on this webpage, and stay still and not do anyting else.

History:
I have allot of OCD and Anxiety in my history.
I'ts been getting worse as i age.

Start of my panic:
I woke up irritable already slept bad and my ear felt closed the whole time.
I sing and compose music so things like that can trigger me hardcore.
So what i did was i went to a tap and started running hot water into my ear.
Then i suddenly felt and noticed it going up my nose. And it kinda made me "choke on the water" not sure how to say this in english..

Straight away all the articles i once read about Naegleria fowleri popped up in my head.
And went across my eyes sort of speaking as slides.
I immediately jumped behind my pc and started googling those articles again.
Mainly focusing on reasons why i would not have it.
like googling the time of year people get it.
googling the locations people get them
countries..
etc..

ive read other threads where people try to calm others by saying it does not occur in europe etc etc.
well it does occur in europe and also in italy and in some factory in belgium (thats very near)
i try so hard to calm down.

but nothing right now is helping. I just cant convince myself that i dont have it.
Also i have been rubbinb some soap in my nose and salt. (i do stupid shit when im anxious)
Its never gonna reach the area where the Naegleria fowleri could be ofcourse.... and i would need the same tap water to reach that and i dont even know if soap or salt would kill it.....
im just going 10000% insane right now.. and im sweating i cant focus i cannot stand on my feet. and i need help. badly...

Now i am even thinking that i might increase the risk of getting the virus because of the soap and salt.

please.. i am so tired of this disease and today its so bad i have not had it this bad in like a year or 6 months or so. and i feel cold and strange and sick.




edit: these strange cold waves im having right now are freaking me out. i think its from the Naegleria fowleri.

Hey OP. I definitely can relate to you. I know you mean well and the anxiety is crazy. I also sing and make music btw. I deal with shit exactly like this very often. Its crazy how we look up articles and stuff out of anxiety/hyper alertness (at least I do), and later when we do something our unconscious body thinks is innocent (such as what you did), later our conscious mind tries to interfere with its thoughts and memories. Especially when you think you really messed up, you just feel this sense of regret and existential helplessness until you get some sort of permission that you can live life again. Well in your case I would say that it is more likely than not that nothing happened to you. Just pretend that you never even looked up the articles and have no idea what they are. I'm sure that there are multiple people if not 100s who have done exactly what you did with tap water but never knew of the article and ended up fine. You actually are in the same boat as those people, but since you looked up the article you feel a threat which is understandable but does NOT mean you're done. In fact, remembering the articles and feeling anxious is BENEFIT because it makes you less likely to do that again, which decreases your chances of getting the amoeba. That is a benefit over the people who never read the article and do it multiple times (even though its still more likely than not that they end up fine).

If something did happen, your unconscious body would be aware of it before you consciously would ever know something is going wrong for sure. Also remember your subjective notions of what a "brain eating amoeba" would do are probably ruling your anxiety about it. Not saying that it's harmless, obviously that is very scary, but what actually happens is just a product of nature and not your mind, and as long as you are still living you can let the moment inspire you to keep going. With me, the more I let these regrets and fears rule my mind, the more likely I am to not live in the moment and screw up in some even worse way that just piles onto my anxiety and the cycle gets worse. I try to just add the "mistake" to my story and let nature run its course. We're all going to die anyway, it'd be much more interesting to let that process play out through just observing than try to meddle and create some artificial sense of "living" before we naturally die anyway.

[Carys]

Things can be lost in the written word, and I'm guessing English might not be your first language either which only adds to thisYes, I think this is what has happened - my words aren't being understood in the manner intended. I think that the OP has an English language understanding which is good at a practical level, and the nuances and subtle meanings of phrases are being misinterpreted.

Hope you are feeling more calm OP, and that you have been able to think about the facts we have put down for you - that should help you to rationalise things a bit more? That was my intention in my posts, to challenge how you were thinking about the threat. Sympathy and compassion are fine, but don't help people in a state of severe panic. I would like to add......we are all just users and anxiety sufferers ourselves, with our own mental health issues. No, we aren't counsellors, or mental health professionals, so expecting a response as if we are is unfair.

[tan235]

I've had those fears before but I think you've got more chance of being hit by lightning whilst riding a cow through a Starbucks...