chris-t-o
18-07-07, 22:57
Evening - or whatever time of day it may be for any of you. I guess I'm not the only one sleeping irregularly :)
I'm Chris, from Oslo, Norway.
About me: I'm a self-employed computer application developer, 21 years old. I've been active in liberal politics here for a couple of years. I play electric bass in my free time, if I'm not spending it on understanding economics (being single leaves a lot of room to be a geek, that's for sure).
About my condition: I'm slowly beginning to realize that I've had some sort of condition for about four years - my mother and my ex has told me about the period I "lost my smile". I've always been resourceful and energetic, self-confident and a strong individual, but in the last three years I've been increasingly tired in periods. Two years ago I had a depression breakdown that left me mostly in bed crying for three weeks, and I didn't do much about it. I had a pretty good period after that, but the last year has been nothing but tiredness, sadness and I haven't been able to find "my old self". I've disappointed a lot of people, most of all myself, and I've done all sorts of irrational things that have led to economic problems amongst other things. I've experienced all sorts of weird triggers (seeing a picture, reading a text, a report on TV - not knowing why it triggers anything) that give me adrenaline rushes, anxiety attacks and sometimes shortness of breath.
In the past month-and-a-half I've had some anxiety attacks that, suffice to say, freaked me out, and it freaked me out to an extent that I just had to take some action. Everything gets scary and I've thought the worst about everything and everyone. With the help of my mother and father, my GP, my friends and such, I've started on antidepressants (cipralex, 10mg so far), I'm on long term sick leave and I've stopped doing anything and slowly replacing it with exercise, reading, and other things I purely enjoy. Feels much better just talking about it and moving obstacles out of the way one by one. But getting back to being energetic and sharp will take a long time, as my GP says - try walking around with a broken arm for four years and see how long it takes for it to heal.
I've been in therapy for about four months now, and it has led to me understanding myself better. But I'm extremely confused when it comes to finding why I am what I am right now. Everything from my parents' divorce to not being able to enjoy the fruits of my work. Anyway, I'm finally able to accept that I have problems, instead of ripping on myself for being lazy and worthless. It's progress!
And I have no social phobia whatsoever. Thank *insert favorite deity* for that, and a lovable set of really good friends. Now, time to rest and get well.
Thanks for great tips on the site, in the forums, and in advance for the support and help I hope to get :)
Chris
I'm Chris, from Oslo, Norway.
About me: I'm a self-employed computer application developer, 21 years old. I've been active in liberal politics here for a couple of years. I play electric bass in my free time, if I'm not spending it on understanding economics (being single leaves a lot of room to be a geek, that's for sure).
About my condition: I'm slowly beginning to realize that I've had some sort of condition for about four years - my mother and my ex has told me about the period I "lost my smile". I've always been resourceful and energetic, self-confident and a strong individual, but in the last three years I've been increasingly tired in periods. Two years ago I had a depression breakdown that left me mostly in bed crying for three weeks, and I didn't do much about it. I had a pretty good period after that, but the last year has been nothing but tiredness, sadness and I haven't been able to find "my old self". I've disappointed a lot of people, most of all myself, and I've done all sorts of irrational things that have led to economic problems amongst other things. I've experienced all sorts of weird triggers (seeing a picture, reading a text, a report on TV - not knowing why it triggers anything) that give me adrenaline rushes, anxiety attacks and sometimes shortness of breath.
In the past month-and-a-half I've had some anxiety attacks that, suffice to say, freaked me out, and it freaked me out to an extent that I just had to take some action. Everything gets scary and I've thought the worst about everything and everyone. With the help of my mother and father, my GP, my friends and such, I've started on antidepressants (cipralex, 10mg so far), I'm on long term sick leave and I've stopped doing anything and slowly replacing it with exercise, reading, and other things I purely enjoy. Feels much better just talking about it and moving obstacles out of the way one by one. But getting back to being energetic and sharp will take a long time, as my GP says - try walking around with a broken arm for four years and see how long it takes for it to heal.
I've been in therapy for about four months now, and it has led to me understanding myself better. But I'm extremely confused when it comes to finding why I am what I am right now. Everything from my parents' divorce to not being able to enjoy the fruits of my work. Anyway, I'm finally able to accept that I have problems, instead of ripping on myself for being lazy and worthless. It's progress!
And I have no social phobia whatsoever. Thank *insert favorite deity* for that, and a lovable set of really good friends. Now, time to rest and get well.
Thanks for great tips on the site, in the forums, and in advance for the support and help I hope to get :)
Chris