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Pkstracy
05-05-18, 01:22
I am so sick of being sick and tired, I found some bruises on the back of my left leg, not sure how they got there, or how long they have been there, I keep thinking OMG blood clot, I have this fear that something is wrong with me, I keep checking the bruises to see if they have spread, making sure I don't have some form of bleeding going on inside, Hubby thinks I did something but I am like I don't know how they could have gotten near the crease of the back of my leg, they are just above it, I have to turn my leg just to see them, they are on upper part, I keep googling blood clot symptoms and checking, doing the toe flex test where you stretch out your leg and flex your toes up, I don't feel pain, or redness or swelling, my skin is not hot, I am having none of the symptoms of this, but yet I keep thinking that yep I have one, I am, as I said, constantly checking, then my brain goes into , what if it's cancer, what if it's my liver, what if it's diabetes, what if what if what if, this has taken over so much in the last few days that it is hard for me to do anything else, I even took a pen and drew a circle around the bruises to see if they grow, have even taken pictures to compare, I know some people can bruise for no reason and it's part of aging, but I am only 45 , been healthy all my life,I am overweight, and have lost 50 plus pounds, and started eating healthier, cutting out sodium, and a lot of sweets and processed foods, and cooking at home with herbs and spices, not hardly eating red meat and cutting out sodas of every kind, my depression has also gotten worse, I can't handle this anymore and feel like I am going to lose my mind, I can't focus, I can't sit still, I just want to stay in bed most of the time or be near my husband, I feel tired and not sure why, I know anxiety and stress can make you tired as well as that time of the month, I just wish I knew how to stop this and be back to who I used to be, like I never used to worry about stuff like this, the old me would have seen it and been like, wow how did that happen, and go on, and then if it was still there after a couple of months then I would be like okay, time to get checked out, I have never had unexplained bruises before, and yeah Dr. Google didn't help, big mistake in googling.

OCDme
07-05-18, 06:45
I hope things will get better. And think of it like this. You're making actual efforts for yourself like eating healthy and losing weight. On the other hand, I haven't done much homework at all and I'm rarely studying for the finals because of my OCD(pureO).

Pkstracy
07-05-18, 07:09
Hi, thank you for responding. I had a good day yesterday, then today right back down the rabbit hole, this time I got triggered over cellulitis. I just got over a bout and got a skin abrasion/ skin tear in the crease of my knee back leg and now am checking over and over for signs of infection. Swear this is never ending.I know it will get better but when ? Lol

OCDme
07-05-18, 10:04
Hi, thank you for responding. I had a good day yesterday, then today right back down the rabbit hole, this time I got triggered over cellulitis. I just got over a bout and got a skin abrasion/ skin tear in the crease of my knee back leg and now am checking over and over for signs of infection. Swear this is never ending.I know it will get better but when ? Lol

Sorry to hear what happened to you today... :( Well there's a bright side... your life is at least moving forward...I know some people whose life kinda just stopped because of their anxiety or OCD. I'm not sure if my life has stopped yet... so far, I didn't do most of the work that I was supposed to finish. :(
Also think about this...even people with no OCD/anxiety still has to worry about a gazillion things especially when they have a family to take care of or have a job or stuff like that so...what you're going through is partly at least what everyone goes through.

Pkstracy
07-05-18, 16:30
Awww ocdme, i am sorry that you are going through this as well, I have days to where I can't function. Right now I am in a bit of panic as the skin tear is slightly still oozing, serous fluid, I keep touching bandaid to see if I can tell how wet it is my mind plays tricks telling me it's soaked, my rational side says it's in the fold so the outside is going to feel damp due to sweat, now I am just waiting to see if any cellulitis symptoms spring up, like chills, fever, redness on leg, pain and tight skin. I hope it gets better for you