Love my kids but want to throttle them!

[happyone]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!:mad: :curse:
I feel I am going to explode!
Kids are driving me up the bloody wall!

Eldest is being mean and spiteful to everyone around her, youngest is winding everyone up.
Eldest attempted to hit me a few moments ago and as well as being really cross, I am so very hurt. We don't hit as a family, we don't smack, but she is just being so aggressive.

I hate the fact that I can love them so much but can feel so horrible towards them.
I told my eldest (whilst sending her to bed) that I love her and I am here when she wants or needs a cuddle.
"huh" she replies "you? I don't think so!"

I am sure it is normal but the aggression is really getting to me. I would never have contemplated hitting one of my parents. I don't contemplate hitting, full stop. well............ maybe I think about it sometimes but that is all.
Every bloody time I think life is settling and cool, something happens.

I'm not looking for anything (well, reassurance or guidance with what to do with aggressive 9 yrs olds maybe?), just a chance to vent and release my frustration before I have to go through to little un who has redecorated the living room with yogurt and cucumber (don't ask!)
The bloody thing is though, is it has to be my fault. I am her mother so it is me that has brought her up. I somehow must be making her think that it is ok to hit me.:weep:

Happyone

[geordie flower]

Hiya i so know wat you mean, my 9 year old thinks he knows it all! and ive never been young myself and just dont understand him, him and my 6 year old fight alot im sick ov separating them and putting them in their own rooms to calm down and whoopee doo they break up tomorrow for 6 weeks help! they cud just be extra hyper with it being end of term. kids eh arent they great ha ha ha tracey x:D

[darkangel]

Oh happyone, Im kind of in the same situation as you too hunni.
I love my daughter so much (she is 16) and she has been through a lot in her short life (mostly down to me and my illness). I guess when she is going through a tantrum stage, she hurts me and blames me for things, but Ive had to learn to just let it pass and not feel guilty.
She walked out on me 2 nights ago to go back and live with her dad, and yes I was distraught, but I know in my heart that she jsut needed her space and she has been in contact and apoplogised and will be back to stay on her usual nights.
As mothers, we love our children unconditionally and I personally thinks it positive that they are able to vent their frustration. I consider this to be healthier than bottling it all up (like I used to).
Hunni, I thinks its just another "phase" and Im sure there will be plenty more to come.
Hope peace returns soon :flowers:

[nomorepanic]

Happyone

Sounds like she needs to be taught a lesson.

Tell her that if she wants to act like a baby she will be treated like one.

No treats, no pocket money - or whatever you think will hit her the hardest.

Take back control and let them know it isn't acceptable to hit you under any circumstances.

[Piglet]

As the mother of 3 teenage piglets I could tell you some stories but we'd be here all night!!! :mad: :ohmy:

My kids make me laugh and they make me cry - they say some great stuff :yesyes: and they say and do some crap stuff :lac:

I've told them time and time again "Why the hell are you like this when you've got such a perfect mother like me" :wacko:

Personally speaking I've always thought of kids as not that different to goats - they run off if you don't have them on a lead, they eat the curtains if you let them and they poo on the carpet if you don't put straw down.

Bear the above in mind and you too will have 3 totally balanced confident young adults to let loose on the world. I was raised that way and look at me!!! :yesyes:

Piglet :flowers:

[Lindalou64]

Hi Happyone,
Sorry Your Going Thru Hell Right Now,but As A Parent I Can Relate To It All I Have A 18 And 22 And Sometimes They Can Be Soo Mean When Ive Done Everything For Them On My Own The Last 5 Yrs..and There Boys And Im A Mom With A Real Bad Back Think They Would Want To Do For Me..but Kids Today No Recpect Like We Did..different Generation ...no Its No Excuse But That How They Are And It Is Very Sad At Times...ive Talked To Many Parents Friends Family And They Go Thru Even Worse So I Guess I Have To Count My Blessings...hang In There Ok...linda Xxx

[happyone]

Thanks folks,
I am feeling a bit calmer now.

I cried when I read your post darkangel, I think I was still rather raw at the time:blush: I cried when I read yours Piglet, but that was tears of laughter! You're mad you are! Goats!!LOL

She got up out of her bed and apologised and offered a dodgy tum as an excuse (I think it was made up but decided to let it slide) We had a talk about all the stuff and she has been left in no uncertain terms how I feel about hitting. We then had a cuddle up on the couch. I have still made her go to bed early though so she knows it is still unacceptable, even though an apology makes it a bit better. She has accepted her punishment with good grace.

Before she went to bed though, she asked me how to meditate! With my limited wisdom I showed her what I could and asked her to join in with me. We had such a good laugh at her laughing at me, it almost made up for all the hurt earlier.:)

kids eh!

Thanks again
Happyone
xx

[Coni]

Hi Happyone,

glad things have settled down....I can empathise....I have a stroppy 10 year old who seems to storm off in a huff at the slightest thing just now. The other week she left me a note on my bed to tell me she hated me, cos I told her and her brother off for fighting....then she came cuddling in to my bed to apologise, cuddle up and tell me I'm the best mum ever lol!

Kids eh?

luv Coni XX

[Quirky]

Hi Happyone,

Glad things have settled down now mate :hugs: I know absolutely nothing about kids of any age but I know what happened today is no reflection on you as a Mum as I know you're a great Mum :yesyes:

Lisa x

[honeybee3939]

Personally speaking I've always thought of kids as not that different to goats - they run off if you don't have them on a lead, they eat the curtains if you let them and they poo on the carpet if you don't put straw down.


So thats where im going wrong!:ohmy:

I know more about goats than anything, as you know Piglet i was the chief goat keeper at school and got an award for all my good work.:yesyes:

Right ...its straw in the beds tonight!:yesyes: Lets see if that works:ohmy:

I love them really:winks:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[Piglet]

I know more about goats than anything, as you know Piglet i was the chief goat keeper at school and got an award for all my good work.:yesyes:


....And that Andi my sweet is why you are such a marvellous mother. :hugs:

Piglet :flowers:

[darkangel]

Happyone Im glad things are much better now.

Emotions are all over the place too - so taking that time out really does help.

You sound like you have a really strong bond.

Hugs to you all :hugs: :hugs:

From Darkangel x

[happyone]

Thanks for that DarkAngel:hugs:

All is much quieter today. She had been overnight at my mums before yesterday, She always comes back from my mums in a strop. I love my mum but she treats my daughter like a mini adult instead of the 9yr child she is and lets her away with far too much, so that when she comes back to me, she is resentful that I am being a 'parent' !! How dare I eh?

I do love my mum so much but it makes me so cross, but I know she did the same with me when I was little and I got away with a heck of a lot of cheek and stuff.

I have now however re established my place as 'loving' mum and not the devil incarnate!

happyone
xx

[mirry]

Happyone , my daughter is 9 years old too, and acting more like a teenager, its so scarey. She actually told me 2 boys at school wolf whistled at her and her friend as they walked pass them !!!

My son is 13 years old, and is putting a huge strain on this family, he has aspergers syndrome and what with being a teenager too its too much , he winds his sister up all day long , she screams all day long at him.
I said to my hubby I am moving out if it gets too much this summer holidays,lol.

My daughter also has been giving me the catherine tate attitude lately,

am I bothered tho ?

[happyone]

LOL at the catherine tate stuff Mirry, my daughters one is 'whatever!' and she too is more like a teenager!

I feel like moving out during the hols sometimes too!

We are 3 weeks into ours here and there is another 4 1/2 weeks to go as they get 7 1/2 weeks at her school!

Happyone
xx

[eeyorelover]

7 1/2 weeks of no school???? Ok I'd have to have a vacation after that - LOL

All my kids are teenagers now and I have to say that I think (having 3 boys and 1 girl) that girls are HARD!!! They are moody creatures who can be saying how much they love you one minute and how much they wish that they had another family the next - LOL

My girl was in the kitchen the other morning and I heard her banging around so I went in - she was crying (nothing too unusual there - LOL). I asked her what was wrong and she was crying cuz she burned her pancakes!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I wanted to ask her but didn't.

I asked if she wanted me to make her pancakes and she loving said 'if you want to'. So I started in on pancakes having 15 minutes to make it to work but I figure for her I'll be late!

Her brother walks into the kitchen and all he said was 'what's wrong with you?'
BAD IDEA!!!
She sniped back - DON'T YOU EVEN START WITH ME!!
I'm suprized her head wasn't spinning around and she wasn't spitting pea soup!!

I've told you all I'm in hormone hell - LOL
xxx
Sandy